Assume for a moment that you know a woman - or a man. And they are married, or perhaps involved with someone. They may or may not have children.
Throughout the course of their relationship, you've never been particularly fond of the partner. But, they seem happy and so you are happy for them. But with time, the relationship seems ... poisoned. And you learn in a round-about way that the partner is less than faithful. Or, doing things to significantly compromise the financial stability of the union.
If you were the woman - or man, would you want to know?
And if so - how would you want to be told?
Now, imagine for a moment that you are billionaire George Steinbrenner.
Would you dig up the length of the third baseline to find the Red Sox jersey, or would you just try to forget that it was there?
Yeah. Like he could ever forget.
I would tell them. This is because I have a big mouth. I could NEVER keep it a secret. BUT I would fully expect them to believe their significant other and never talk to me again. So maybe you could cut some letters out of a magazine and send a "ransom note".
ReplyDeleteOh wait, is there any chance they have a blog????
ReplyDeleteTell me, and I'll go leave an anonymous comment! Hee hee hee.
Oh, that is a crackup. Oh, and I would totally want to know. Sit me down with wine and a big chocolate dessert and break it to me. Better to find out from a supportive friend that a cheating spouse...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I LOVED your posts on organizing. They were so inspiring. Glad to know I'm not the only foul giant that stomps around with a garbage bag.
amanda
librarycollective.blogspot.com
OH SO DIFFICULT! Like Michele, I would expect to be shot if I were the messenger. Even if they believed me, they'd always feel icky about me.
ReplyDeleteIf I went crashing down into horrible debt (lost the house, everything repossessed, whatevs) because of my spouse, and later found out that one of my friends knew ahead of time what was happening, I'd be like, "OMG WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???" But---I don't know what the right way to tell me would be. I guess I'd want someone to say, "Listen. I'm about to tell you something that I think you'd want to know. But I'm nervous, because I'm afraid it's going to kill our friendship. I'm going to tell you anyway, because in your shoes I'd want to know. I hope I'm not wrong."
Firstly, I'm addicted to your blog. lol
ReplyDeleteI have 20 year old twins and a son and they are the light of my life. Your writing makes me laugh out loud and brings great memories back :-)
As for this question, its just happened to me. After 32 years together mere aquaintances have told me my husband has been seeing someone else for just over 12 months..........and I was shocked to the core.
I wasn't angry with the people who told me but I went straight from them to a solicitor for some advice, from the horses mouth, so to speak.......then came home and after three days of silent agony, broached my husband. Of course nothing is going on, it's gossip, but after more investigating on my now woken up part, I find he's lying.
Now we're up to, "oh she's just a good friend", "someone I can talk to", and I'm disgusted, heart sick, and totally sad.
I never ever thought he couldn't be trusted, and I never ever thought he was a liar. We've been together since I was 17 and I didn't work outside the home the whole time.
I've decided to stay put and stick it out, and he's "working" on our relationship. Thanks for letting me vent.
My advice is if you KNOW this is going on, let the person know. She'll thank you for it later.
My thirteen year old daughter told me that "Daddy had a girlfriend". It was heartbreaking and devastating but it made me wake up to the fact.
ReplyDeleteI guess it depends on how good your relationship is with the person. I think when this happens to you, you feel like such a fool for not realizing it. In my case I blammed myself--and still do. You have to use your intuition to see if it is right for you to be the "Messenger".\
MOM