We have had another regression in the potty training arena.The same day that Elizabeth was reunited with her princess bike, William started pooping in his diaper at nap time. This, from the child that was showing his sister how it should be done. I was completely befuddled with his setback and asked "Why William? WHY?!"
His response - the response that I hear to almost EVERY question that I ask these days?
"I dunno."
After cleaning up dirty diapers from both Carolyn and William for the past week, I started to go batty. These kids no longer fit on the changing table and it feels like I am cleaning the bum of a grown person, not a baby, whenever they come running out of their rooms after a nap with a full diaper and stench that makes me positively weak.
So, yesterday during our walk, we saw a police man that was responding to an alarm that went off in someone's house. Because our children are very excited about any one in public service that wears a uniform - he stopped to talk with us and when I asked if the reason he was in our neighborhood was to tell our children that they need to go poop in the potty he laughed and said "YES! That's exactly why I'm here!"
While the kids looked at him with eyes like saucers and their mouths wide open, the police man kneeled down at their level and said "It's very important that you go pee and poo on the toilet. The big toilet, the one that flushes!"
How about that?
The poop police.
They really do exist.
But less than an hour later, just before their nap, two of the trio went poop in their diapers. So, I did what any loving parent would do. I told them that I was going to call the policeman and he was going to come back to our house and take them to jail.
Now, the only reason I said such a terrible thing to my three-year-old children is because a little bird told me that I'm on track to win "Mother Of The Year" and I really don't want that prestigious award. Where would it go in this small house?
Truly, I have no place on the wall to hang it.
That is an excellent tactic. I may consider it in the future. We do have police that occasionally cruise our neighborhood. I'm sure they would be glad to help out. You know, serve and protect?
ReplyDeleteThat truly is the funniest story I have ever read on this blog. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious, Jen. Now if you could get him to come back after naptime.......
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, just take the diapers away at naptime. Then they'll have no choice but to get up and go use the potty! I didn't take my kids away FOREVER and they did the same darn thing! Those kids are smart!
Okay, I'm having a bread disaster over here. IT ISN'T RISING. I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I keep looking in there and IT'S NOT RISING.
Michele - If I take the diapers away at nap time, which I did one day last week, all three of them WET THE BED. Then, Carolyn and William just waited until they had their night time diapers and went then.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your water wasn't warm enough?? That's what I'm guessing.
First off, that policeman deserves a plate of cookies or something. That was really sweet of him to serve his public like that.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I think it's hilarious that you threatened them with jail. Maybe if they actually saw a police car in your driveway one day...?
As somebody who has been there and done that with potty training, I wish I could offer some advice, but I got nothin'. It truly was a dark time for us around here too. The only think I think will be worse is teaching our daughter to drive.
Quick thinking! My oldest absolutely refused to go potty. I came home one day with several packs of big girl underwear. I told her there would be no more diaper wearing in our house. She threw a fit like nothing I had ever seen. She screamed hysterically for a few minutes. Then she got really quiet, she looked at me and said, "I'll kill you mommy". I to this day don't know where she heard that expression. I will that I did win and she did wear big girl underwear. Not without a few mishaps though. I know that big people poo you are talking about. It's so gross.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome! Kudos to the police officer for playing along...maybe you can get him to come back if they don't start using the potty...
ReplyDeleteThis post just made me laugh so hard! My daughter will be 4 later this month and it has been a LONG endurance event getting her fully trained. Last summer I can't tell you how much poop I scooped out of princess panties. At 9 months pregnant that was no easy feat! I wish I had thought to bring the cops into it! Too funny.
ReplyDeleteAlso loved yesterday's post. I don't know how many times we have been at the grocery store with my oldest son in some sort of get up. Spiderman, cowboy, fisherman, diver (yes, he did wear goggles) and even Jesus. Usually I just roll with it since it's easier than fighting about it and usually brings a smile to other shoppers faces!
I love your blog and look forward to your posts!
That's great timing!!! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI'm crying right now. Literal tears are streaming down my face. That is the BEST story ever! When I was growing up, my mom would threaten to call the manager anytime we misbehaved in a store. I've used it on my kids. Now, when my triplets are ready to potty train, I think I'm going to call my local police station and ask them if they could add a "service" to their already long list of tasks.
ReplyDeleteHave a WONDERFUL night.
p.s. I have NO idea the path I took that linked me to your blog, btw. I promise I'm not a stalker.
FIRST, I love that you suggested that to a police officer. SECOND, I love that he went along with it and even improvised. THIRD, I love that you threatened them with jail.
ReplyDeleteHahahah! dude, desperate times call for desperate measures. :)
ReplyDeletelol, I absolutely LOVE your blog!!! The real question is, did it work?
ReplyDeleteAllie
I love it...the "poop police"!!! Hilarious. I'm sorry it didn't have more of an immediate effect on them. One of mine pooped at nap/nighttime in their diaper, long after they were in underwear the rest of the day. Honestly, I tried several different things and nothing worked but time. One day he just stopped doing it in his diaper and that was the end of that! And you are right, 3 1/2 year old poop is gross. Absolutely revolting!
ReplyDeleteKelly(Houston)
I need to track down a poop police officer in my town! I love it!
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend said that her "trick" was when her son pooped his pants, she made HIM clean it up. That since he wasn't a baby anymore, that he was big enough to clean up after himself. He cried and screamed about doing it, but she provided the wipes and had him stand by the toilet to do it. Three self-cleaned poopy diapers later and he started pooping in the potty. Within a week he was trained. She said it was hard on her to hear him cry...but tough love.
ReplyDeleteI know if I have any struggles with this, I'd like to try this tactic.
Heh heh heh. That is one cool cop.
ReplyDeleteMy mom used jail as a threat for anything when we were growing up. I think it only worked on me (oldest child). Bummer for her. :)
The only thing that consoled me in the potty training arena was thinking, "I KNOW they won't be in diapers when kindergarten starts." I didn't know how they wouldn't be, but I knew they wouldn't. For some unknown reason that helped me.
But mostly I'm glad that I don't have to think about potty training again for about 20 months. And that I've only had to do one at a time.
oh, oh,oh! Just had a brainstorm! This is what I finally did with my knew-exactly-what-he-was-doing rebel potty-trainer, and it was a suggestion from my aunt, mom of six:
ReplyDeleteI had a little eye-to-eye conversation with him that went like this: "Pooping in your pants is yuuuuucky. It is not what a three-year-old does. It's not OK. From now on, if you poop in your underwear, you have to take a cold shower to get all clean and fresh again. OK?" I made sure he repeated back to me what would happen when he pooped in his pants. And I followed through. A cold rinse that was just long enough to be uncomfortable and memorable, to get him clean. We only had two of them and it was a done deal. I felt OK with this approach because it was a consequence he knew about ahead of time, I could handle the "accident" very matter-of-factly when it happened instead of being completely irritated, and he understood - it just clicked that poopy underwear were not fun or easy to take care of, it's so much easier to flush it all gone instead!
So that's my tip. I think we all get to a point where anything is worth a try.
With my other one, I made him help me rinse his unders. One time was all it took for him to understand. (Didn't work with the second, who doesn't really care about dirty hands. ;)) Gross, but again...you try anything sometimes.
Ha ha---my husband is a policeman. I think he would do the same thing to help a mom out. Although he feels sad when kids are scared of him. The fear can work until they are potty trained, and then have them meet a nice policeman who will help them when they are lost or hurt.
ReplyDeleteThe bread turned out, by the way! Our son loved it and took a huge hunk to school. Thanks so much. Have you ever made it with part whole wheat flour? Not that I'm a health nut, but I thought I might make it more if it had some fibre in it!
That's just hysterical! Can you send the Poop Police over here next, please?!
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT! I would have done the exact same thing!!!
ReplyDeleteDid it work? Did it work?
ReplyDeleteYou could totally write the next book on potty training. HA!
You and I have SO much in common. Except I don't have triplets...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, funny enough I "called the police" yesterday too. To get his advice about getting my son to listen and be respectful. We have had some serious disrespect issues. The police officer "gave me" the great advice that if N didn't listen, he could go straight to the bed for the evening. And then we'd drive to the police station in the morning to talk in person to the police officer. My son was horrified and was an almost-perfect angel the rest of the day/night! How amazing to actually see one in the neighborhood!
I was feeling guilty about my manipulation. But not now that I've read your story.
To Sonja and Jen:
ReplyDeleteYES! You can use wheat flour in that bread recipe. I do half-and-half and to be honest, I think it turns out better!
Jen- I think my yeast was old. Greg said it tasted like a saltine cracker. I won't give up though!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe they peed the bed! WHAT A MESS THAT MUST HAVE BEEN! If you want me to come over dressed up like a witch and scare 'em, I can do it! :)
My friend and her husband invented the "poopies dairy" who takes toys away each night if the poop doesnt go in the potty each day.
ReplyDeleteoops...that should have been "poopy fairy".
ReplyDelete"......take them to jail" too funny!
ReplyDeleteLOL! The policeman coming to get him is the ONLY threat that still makes my son behave!! I am most impressed that that policeman played along though. VERY cool.
ReplyDeleteI say just take the diaper off, it worked for me. Not. Love wood floors. http://youtube.com/watch?v=5vd0YubhunE
ReplyDeleteROFL. I am crying that was so funny. Thank you
ReplyDelete