Monday, October 23, 2017

… and then they were 13

Last weekend, our amazing trips turned 13.  Here's a picture of them opening their birthday present, their very own flip cell phones. 

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That's right. Our once three pound premature babies, are now teenagers ... and thriving with flip cell phone technology.  (More on that, later!)  We threw them a surprise party for their birthday.  Surprise because we didn't plan it until Thursday night, and didn't tell the kids about it until Saturday late afternoon.   

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We wound up renting and putting in our yard, a 65-foot long bounce house / obstacle course, that the kids all phoo-phoo'ed because they were TEENS and TEENS don't play on bounce houses anymore.  Until, we turned on the water slide component of this massive blow up contraption, and gave them a load of glow sticks so they could run through it at night with several neighborhood friends and kids from school, and suddenly - this was the most epic party ever. 

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(This is not our side yard. This is a screenshot from the website, because if you can believe it, I didn't take a single picture of the entire party.) 

It's an awesome privilege to see these beautiful people growing up. Although it really feels like over the past decade, the earth has begun spinning faster and the years are flying by.  I'm sure I've said that before?  I tend to forget things, because - years flying by and mind isn't what it once was. 

(Nor are my teeth or eyes.  Speaking of which, where are my glasses?  I sure hope I'm updating my blog and not writing a comment on an Amazon purchase of interdental toothbrushes.)

When I look at other people's similarly aged children, I wonder, "Wow, when did they get so big?"  Then I look at our children - and I still see my babies.  But I also see these incredible people who are steadily blooming before my eyes and a bittersweet surge goes through my whole body because parenting isn't just about keeping them alive, anymore.  Parenting at this juncture is predominantly about modeling adulthood and coaching them for their own adult lives.  Those lives when they're not living with Charlie and I anymore, when they'll be independently living on their own and not tucked in to bed every night by me, and woken up every morning by their father.  

(Unless they still want to live with us when they're 40, which right now … I'm totally cool with that.  Provided they start doing a better job picking up after themselves. And doing laundry. And cooking. Also, turning off lights - or chipping in money to help with the ever mounting utility and grocery bills.  But I digress. These years are so, so precious … and so, so fleeting. *Sob!*)

In just about everything I do, I try to start with the end in mind.  Or, imagine the favorite glass as already broken. The moments are ephemeral and all shall eventually come to an end.  So it's important to step back and look at the big picture and get perspective, because these days tend to result in a sort of parental vertigo wherein you lose your sense of balance and don't know which way is up.  To combat this PV as I call it, I've just recently reduced to part-time, which is something I've been wanting to do for years

For the past month, I've been working only three days a week.  And on those two days off, when I thought I'd have ample time to do things like float in the pool with a daiquiri in hand … I find that I'm very busy.  Doing things like grocery shopping and communicating with teachers. And stuff!  I don't even know what stuff, but I put the kids on the bus and no pool floating or daiquiris later … they're home again.  Several stay-at-home friends have reached out to me wanting to go to lunch, or take long walks on my "days off" and I've told them no, because it isn't really a day off.  It's a day to get things done that don't get done the rest of the week.  
 
I genuinely thought I'd have more time because school is long, it starts at 7:45 for Henry, and runs through 3:30 in the afternoon.  Except on the days he has choir, and then he has to be there at 7:00 AM.  Two days a week he is in Tae Kwon Do with his brother at a local studio.  And a few nights a week, they're running to Cub / Boy Scout events.  

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The triplets start school at 8:00 and are home at 4:30.  But not all three kids are home at 4:30 because of sports and various after-school activities.   Here's a rundown… 

Elizabeth insisted - much to my dismay - that she try out for the girls cross-country team. Since we're in Texas, schools are huge.  HUGE.  There are nearly 1,300 kids in the triplet's seventh grade class, alone, and a large percentage of those girls tried out for cross-country.  I thought her odds of making the team would be slim to none, so I suggested she skip it and stick with swimming. Also, who would ever want to run in Houston weather?  Crazy people, that's who.  

Lo, Elizabeth landed a spot on the team, which was no small feat - and has since won first place in multiple district and regional meets with starting line-ups of more than 100 girls.  While the majority of "other" parents are actually encouraging their children, and putting them in running camps,  I'm trying everything I can to dissuade her and stick with swim team.  Not just because I liked having ALL THE KIDS IN ONE SPORT - but because my 84-year old mother still swims every day.  Swimming is wonderful exercise, unlike running which hurts me to just think about. She doesn't agree and is telling me she wants to do a marathon when she's 16.   I'm certain that her desire to run and win nearly every race is just to prove me wrong.  

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Honestly! Such a teenager.  

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Carolyn, our most introverted child and who will soon surpass 5'9" tall, surprised all of us, when she decided that she would be auditioning for a role in the local community theatre production of "Annie."   She decided on a Wednesday, and the auditions were on Saturday.   We scrambled to figure out what she had to do (sheet music? song selection? head shots? where to begin?!) show up, and wait for her turn to sing before the directors / judges / people in the decision making role for these sorts of things.   

When she was a baby, Carolyn would hum, all the time.  Recently, I stumbled upon a video of her laying in her crib during nap time, and humming "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" when she was just a year old. She had such a sweet and beautiful little voice!

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I haven't really heard her sing much since then - because she's very shy.  So you might imagine my stunned disbelief when she showed up for the audition, strutted right in to the room, closed the door behind her, and belted out a beautiful rendition of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.  I could hear the judges talking with her and asking, "Wait. {papers shuffling} How old are you? (12) What grade are you in? (7th) Have you ever sung before? (no) When did you have voice lessons? (never) Are you in choir? (no). You've never sung before and you're not in choir? (Yes, wait … no? I'm sorry. Can you repeat the question?)"  

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Suffice to say, Carolyn landed three roles in the upcoming performance, along with several speaking parts which she is quite excited about.  I'm very excited for her too, but all of the rehearsals (also) totally conflicts with swim team.  So.  There is no swim team anymore, except for Charlie, who gets up and out of the house by 5:00 every morning to he can be in the pool with Swim Masters by 5:30. Charlie has pleaded that I join him at 5:30 in the pool … but yeah. Um, no.  

The point is, not that there was specifically a point - the triplets are now 13, Henry is 10 - we are clipping through life at warp speed, and trying our best to live and enjoy every moment.  While we cannot slow down the rate at which the earth spins, or momentum our children are growing up … we can take strides to live more simply and intentionally which is something I really struggle with and which is what led to me reducing to part-time.   It's also led to Charlie and I having deep discussions about capitalizing on this time we have remaining with our children, before they fly from the nest.

Selling off everything, taking a hiatus from our careers, and traveling extensively, is a definite possibility.  When we settle down again, we're considering how we could do it as simply as possible. Small house with a sustainable energy source.  Somewhere TBD.  

The one thing I know for sure is that we try so hard to give our kids the best of everything: education, sports, routine.  And sometimes, they - or us (sometimes both), find that in all the busyness, we can miss the fun, adventure, and simplicity that life can and should be.  So we very well might be taking off in the late spring and doing something radical.  As if getting a new puppy, our precious English Cream Golden Retriever, Professor Oliver Plum (Ollie) wasn't radical enough.    

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Oh, we love this little guy so much … he is our heart's delight! 

Hey Dog, what's up?

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Professor Plum. With the Muddy Paws.  

In the Garden.