Sunday, March 02, 2008

time lapsed, 22 minutes

Yesterday, Charlie told me that the things the children do, which really seem to annoy me, don't affect him at all. So I told him that if he had so much patience, maybe he should get up with the children this morning, while I stayed in bed nursing Henry.

That was at around 7:00 AM.

By 7:03, I could hear the festivities unfold. Mostly, what I could hear were the sounds of toys being dumped all over the floor and scattered throughout the house. The house that we had spent much of last night cleaning and organizing once the kids went to bed.

Charlie was futilely asking, "Guys, do you need to do that?"

By 7:08, I could hear the fighting begin.

Charlie was starting to referee. "Gracie. Elizabeth had that. William, there is more than one block in this house. Go find another one."

By 7:11, the destruction began.

My husband was flustered, "Why are you knocking things off the table, just to DO it?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP DOING THAT!"

By 7:15, the three-year-old demands began. Everyone wanted something.

"I WANT JUICE IN DA BUTTERFLY CUP!"

"DAT MY BUTTERFLY CUP!"

"NO MINE!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"AAAARGH, AAAAAAARGHH!! AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

"MINE!"


Around 7:20, I picked up the phone receiver in our bedroom, and called the base, which is located in the kitchen. I could hear it ringing and Charlie let out an exasperated sigh before answering "Yes. Hello."

He was surprised to hear my voice on the other end.

In an exaggerated sleepy voice, I said "Hi. I'd like to order some fresh squeezed orange juice and your organic fruit parfait with a side of whipped cream."

There was silence and then Charlie said, "Jen, my head is about to POP like a zit."

And that concluded my morning of sleeping in.

16 comments:

  1. At least he could feel your pain and you could smirk comfortably in your bed! Enjoy your day. This made me roll!

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  2. Now that my friend is funny as all hell.

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  3. This gave me a huge lump in my throat. A lump of SHEER DELIGHT. Because when someone (*cough*PAUL*cough*) implies that I am being inappropriately annoyed by my children, what I LOVE is to see them (*cough*PAUL*cough*) suddenly see my point of view. I call this "Joining our world views." And so I also very much love stories of this happening with other couples.

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  4. Your sense of humor is great. I would never think to actually call my husband when I heard him struggling. I think I'd just stay in bed and snicker quietly until he came in and begged for mercy. But no, you are a comic genius. ;)

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  5. Isn't there something so vindicating about being able to say "I told you so"... even when you don't say it? I love "joining our world views", as swistle so aptly put it.

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  6. So he lasted 20 minutes before calling in the calvary (aka you)? Good for you that the point came across loud and clear to him that getting even a small break from the kids is ESSENTIAL!

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  7. chuckle, chuckle. you are brilliant.

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  8. that is way awesome....don't you just hate it when words come back to BITE you in the butt...way to go being comical...tonight (or in a few years) he'll be able to laugh with us all :)

    Charlie you are a good man

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  9. oh yeah...and yeah for new layouts! :) can't wait to see it finished (it says under contruction...so I am assuming you weren't finished...if you are, its great too)

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  10. Aha! Not so easy dealing with it in the mornings is it Charlie? My Hubbs annoys the crap out of me when Alex is screaming the place down and he says "he is only being himself - he can't help it" which I know is true but I still find it hard to deal with. I enjoy the nights when he comes home and deals with Alex screaming and I can do something enjoyable like the dishes or cooking dinner. hehe. I especially loved you calling for "room service" lol

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  11. Famous last words:

    "I don't understand why you find it so difficult to maintain your patience with these children..."

    Um...yeah. It's usually a dad saying that.

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  12. oh.....was that funny!:) I give him a lot of credit for trying.....and you even more for doing it all the time!:)

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  13. snicker, snicker.........justice is served sweet with a side of organic fruit parfait!

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