Wednesday, October 17, 2007

god speed

I am still camera-less. But thanks to the awesome advice I received yesterday, I hope to acquire one on-line (through upromise, of course) within the next few hours. Provided I possess the mental clarity to make such an important purchase.

Today has been a particularly long day. So while Charlie is giving the kids a bath, I'm having some "down time" which involves nursing Henry and quickly updating my blog.

What I set out to tell the internet tonight is that I had to go back to the podiatrist this morning and have my infected toe inspected. I thought my doctor would give me a super-strong antibiotic cream and send me on my way with a guarantee of full and complete healing.

Instead, he gasped and said I had a "horribly nasty abscess" and the entire nail needed to come off. The amputation avulsion of my toenail required more ethyl chloride (not liquid nitrogen as I mistakenly stated previously) and then, two shots of lidocaine at the base of my toe to completely numb it.

Have I mentioned before that I have a low threshold for pain?

When the doctor pulled out the needle, I started gasping and had to shove my shirt sleeve in my mouth to keep from screaming out loud. With both hands grasping the chair and my shirt clenched between my teeth, my doctor laughingly asked "So, tell me again how many children you've brought in to this world?"

Delivering a baby does not require a needle in your toe.

Have you ever had a shot in your toe?!

Did you know that there are more nerve endings in the hands and feet than anywhere else on the body?? Good Lord in Heaven high. My whole life flashed before my eyes.

Thankfully, he was quick about the procedure. Within seconds I felt a tug, tug, TUG and then he was holding up the bloody, puss covered nail and saying "Let me show you what I removed..." when I felt lightheaded and nauseated all at the same time.

He wrapped the toe in a thick bandage and gauze and gave me "Post-Op" instructions that involved soaking my foot every night for 10 minutes. I was also given a special sponge to wash it and an antibiotic medication I need to apply for the next seven days. He added Extra Strength Tylenol and ice cream will help with any discomfort.

I climbed off the chair and hobbled to the elevator. While I was standing there, a little boy - about three years old - dressed in galoshes and a raincoat came skipping out of the pediatric office with his father. He was so excited to push the button that I chuckled at his enthusiasm. When the door opened and six of us crammed in to the elevator, he ran to the panel to push the down button.

Since I have several children the same age as this boy (all of which were at home with their father), I know how a simple thing like pushing an elevator button can be the highlight of their day. When I pointed out which button he should push, because his father was busy talking on his cell phone and oblivious to the fact that his son was prepared to hit the EMERGENCY CALL switch, the preschooler flashed me a big smile.

And then ... this is the best part ... he started jumping up and down excitedly.

I am convinced that there is some kind of Law in the Universe that if you have an injury, things will gravitate and cause further harm to that injury.

Things like say ... a preschool boy who is jumping up and down in an elevator in his galoshes.

Even though my toe was completely numb, I still shrieked when the kid landed smack dab on my foot. Because almost instantly, the entire right side of my body felt hot.

I had planned to go from the doctor's office to the mall and browse for a new camera, but instead, I crawled home and peeled off the gauze and bandages that my doctor had applied. I only slightly fainted when I saw the copious amounts of blood, undoubtedly due to the pouncing my foot had been subjected to while in the elevator.

Smearing some of the antibiotic lotion on my toe, I loosely applied a new dressing and hobbled out to the living room and on to the couch, where not one - but three of my four children - sat or stepped on it over the course of the next few hours.

A highlight of my day was when a huge box arrived in the mail addressed to the kids. Inside there were several helium Happy Birthday balloons and a Curious George stuffed animal. I have no idea who sent this package - because the place that shipped it didn't include a gift card. Because I'm a stickler for sending thank you notes, I plan to contact the company and see if they can clue me in. If not, I hope that whoever sent it reads this blog and can step forward to accept my sincere thanks.

Now, I need to tuck our children in to bed and hopefully, come back with a clear mind and make a decision on a digital camera.

This blog cannot survive without pictures.

And at the moment, I cannot survive without Extra Strength Tylenol and ice cream.


  1. Is it wrong that I laughed uncontrollably at your tale of pain?

    Does it help that I apologize . . . between shrieks of laughter, of course?

    I'm sorry about your toe, J. Really, I am. But you are one helluva funny lady.

    Get well soon. After all, we've got a play date coming up . . . with twelve 3-year-olds who will undoubtably run right over you and your foot.


  2. Not in my toe, no, but I have gotten three shots of local anesthesia in my foot and upwards of 200 stitches removed by this point. And yes, feet are really sensitive. The first time I had the stitches out I asked my mother beforehand if getting stitches out hurt, and she told me getting the staples out after her c-section didn't hurt at all. Ha! Not the same with feet.

  3. Why yes I have had shots in my feet, both big toes twice. Its fun isnt it? Yeah, no. The first time they removed my ingrown toenails from both sides of both toes it didnt work. (Two weeks before my wedding.) But the second time (a couple months after I had the kids) its stuck. I hope to never have an ingrown toenail again. Those suckers hurt, not to mention really ruin a pretty pedicure. ;)

    What camera? An SLR?

  4. I have never had a shot in my toe, but I did have acupuncture several times prior to the birth of the boy, and it hurt like hell.

    Thanks for sharing, andI look forward to the return of pictures!

  5. Your poor toe! I hope you feel better soon!

    Just curious, which camera did you decide on? I am also looking to buy a new one, I have a Canon SD500, which I love, but want a DSLR... Leaning towards the Nikon D40x.

  6. Just to be honest... Maybe it's a good thing that you don't have a camera right now because I know you... there would be a picture of your toe on this Blog! Yuck! Hope you feel better soon!

  7. Ohhhh Ow Ow Ow. I knew what was coming as soon as you said little boy with galoshes. Feet are so sensitive. I think once you don't need the Tylenol any more you should probably keep taking the ice cream-just in case.

    Will you hurry up and research the cameras for us-looks like we all need a new one.

  8. I had two ingrown toenails removed after the birth of baby #1. I had shots in both toes that hurt like a mofo. Yikes. I had the ingrown part of the nail removed and then they "burned" the root of the nail so it can't grow in all funky again like that.

    Unfortunately, the problem is not completely gone, as my toenails still have a tendency towards reverting back. I just have to keep on top of them and make sure to pull them out from under the skin after my shower.

  9. ah, thank you, my friend, for the delicious description of your bloody pus-y toe JUST as i took a sip of my cafe latte.

    i may never eat again.

  10. Ouch!

    Watch the kids with those balloons - I'm very anti-balloon - we get them all the time at that blessed Trader Joes and I'm happy to report that they "fly and be free" before they enter the car - serious choking hazard and they scare the carp out of me (doesn't take much). My friend was an ER nurse up in Thousand Oaks years ago and had a 4 year old come in choking on a deflated balloon - it was not a happy ending. I'm just sayin.

    Now go back and lay on the couch...after you pop the balloons...

  11. You're welcome! (JK)

  12. Hi, just arrived, but your harrowing toe story prompted me to comment right away! OUCH. OUCH. OUCH. I hope it is feeling all better soon!

  13. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

    I'm thinking a glass of wine (if not medically prohibited) might help the toe even more than ice cream (if that's possible, lol).

  14. i am super sorry about the toe and all the incidents that come with it, but you crack me up...i was laughing out loud for sure...more than the "lol" would give me credit for...probably needing the rotfl comment...:)

  15. Egads! You account of your toe amputation was gruesome. Good God! Are your feet still swollen? I bet they are now that you've had a good thrashing on them from the kids. Take it easy, Jen. You need your feet with this job.

  16. Your story made me cringe so many times...OUCH! I sure hope the tylenop and ice cream works because I think I would have been asking for something stronger.