this isn't my most upbeat post

I really hesitated posting this. Because I feel like I shouldn't admit that I'm tired. Perhaps it's the sinus infection that I'm battling and the lack of sleep I've had over the past few years days. But whatever the reason, or host of reasons, today I feel like I've been physically and emotionally hit by a freight train.

Tomorrow I will feel better.

But today, I am tired.

I'm tired of working full-time.

I'm tired of feeling like I am robbing my husband of his career.

I'm tired of feeling like we live too far away from family.

I'm tired of picking up after people all.day.long.

I'm tired of wondering what I'm going to cook for dinner.

I'm tired of making meals that go uneaten.

I'm tired of grocery shopping.

I'm tired of laundry.

I'm tired of waking up at 3 AM to children who wet the bed.

I'm tired of children changing their clothes 40 times a day.

I'm tired of all the missing socks.

I'm tired of all the clutter.

I'm tired of not eating better.

I'm tired of worry.

I'm tired of worrying about my mom.

I'm tired of worrying about my dad.

I'm tired of worrying about my Uncle Bill.

I'm tired of worrying about Deana.

I'm tired of worrying about money and the bills.

I'm tired of worrying about our health and the health of our planet.

I'm tired of worrying about the economy.

I'm tired of worrying about world relations.

I'm tired of worrying about saving for retirement.

I'm tired of worrying about college tuitions.

I'm tired of worrying about whether our children will go to school.

I'm tired of worrying what other people will think.

I'm tired of feeling like I could be a better friend, sister, daughter.

I'm tired of feeling like I could be a better mom.

I'm tired of feeling like I could be a better wife.

I'm tired of feeling like I could be a better human being.

I'm tired of feeling like I am not doing enough.

I'm tired of seeing and feeling my body age.

I'm tired of feeling like this blog isn't better than it is.

I'm tired of beating myself up whenever I let the children watch television.

I'm tired of trying to control things that are outside of my control.

I'm tired of not realizing when things are outside of my control.

I'm tired of children waking up for the day at 5:30 AM.

I'm tired of children that don't nap. Or nap long enough.

I'm tired of doing things, only to have the children undo them.

I'm tired of asking children to do things over and over and over again.

I'm tired of saying, "FINE THEN! I'll do it myself!"

I'm tired at my lack of patience.

I'm tired at my lack of discipline.

I'm tired of comparing myself.

I'm tired of politics - at every level - every where.

I'm tired of the bad people in the world.

I'm tired of people that seems so perky! and together!

I'm tired of feeling like I never get a break.

I'm tired of not having enough time for myself.

I'm tired of feeling like everyone needs a piece of me.

I'm tired of a toddler that wants to nurse at the most inopportune times.

I'm tired of the knowledge that I'll never have these days back again.

I'm tired that I don't live in the moment more.

I'm tired of feeling like I need to put on a happy face or I will appear ungrateful.

Tomorrow I will feel better.

But today, I am tired.

However, I am NOT tired of baking and eating a plate full of chocolate chip cookies in a single afternoon.

And that ... is a real problem.