Have you ever had that experience in life, where you can very clearly see that there is a fork in the road coming up and you'll soon need to make a decision which path to take?
And people tell you that the answer will present itself if you listen to God, but God isn't really giving you a clear answer? Or maybe He is and you really stink at reading signs?
And so you struggle with what the "right" path is and you weigh all the pros and cons and you sleep on it, for several nights, and you pray and you ponder and you poll people about what they'd do and then you try not to think about it at all because quieting the mind is supposed to be helpful?
And just when you finally settle on a new course and things are set in to motion, you're traversing along a surreal track of stuff! happening! and suddenly, the whole dang road disappears and now you're floating in a river - like a dream?
But it's NOT a dream?
It's YOUR reality?
And everyone around you is smiling and laughing and full of glee at the changes that are coming your way and inside there is a little voice that is screaming, "OH MY HOLY HECK, WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I'VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE! DON'T SELL THE HOUSE! DON'T MOVE! I MUST TURN AROUND BEFORE I GO OVER THE WATERFALL!!!"
And then, there is another voice that is countering, "WOO HOO!! WATERFALLS ARE GREAT!! THIS IS A WONDERFUL, INVIGORATING CHOICE, THE MOST AWESOME OF ALL CHOICES THAT HAVE EVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING CHOSEN!! THIS IS LIFE AT IT'S FINEST!!"
And you don't really know which voice to listen to?
And so you are wrought with fear that you are about to mess things up?
(Or maybe not? Who really knows anymore??)
Today was a beautiful day in southern California. Once again, I was reminded how much I love our small house, our wonderful friends, our community and this area in general. Then, I received a phone call.
I'm due to be in Virginia on July 1.
A place, that I know is also beautiful. A place that will be equal distance between my family in Massachusetts and my family in South Carolina. A place where our children will have a better chance of knowing their extended family and have the joy of experiencing seasons. A place that is new and different and fun. A place where I will be in an office and will hopefully have some better structure to my days. A place where I also hope that I'll have enough flexibility with my career that I won't feel like I'm missing out on the vast majority of my children's lives because if I do ... well, then I'll just promptly quit and we'll all be homeless.
(No pressure there.)
Since I need to be in the office by July 1, that means that over the next eight weeks ... we need to sell (or rent) our home in California, buy (or rent) a new home in Virginia (preferably one that won't make us totally house poor and yet, is close to the office), move our family 3,000 miles cross-country, get settled in, get myself acclimated to a new role, register the children for Kindergarten, find new doctors and a new church and a new recycling facility (unless they offer curbside pickup?), get new drivers' licenses and professional registrations, and drink vast quantities of wine.
Wait a minute...
Scratch that last one.