big questions all around

We had a wonderful time this past week in Santa Barbara.

Or rather, Charlie had a wonderful time in Santa Barbara while I was in business meetings.

Since my husband grew up in this beautiful coastal town, nestled between the Santa Ynez mountains and Pacific Ocean, while I worked, he spent time at his old stomping grounds and visiting with high school friends.

One afternoon, he took the children by the house where he grew up.

Slowly driving by, he pointed out to the kids that this is where he lived when he was a little boy. Then, he drove by the cemetery where his mother was buried 17 years ago. Climbing out of the car, he told the children that they need to be very respectful in a cemetery. He took the children to his mom's grave and had everyone stand around in a small circle, holding hands. My husband told the kids that they were going to be quiet for just a moment and say a little prayer.

As they stood holding hands in a circle, with their heads nodded, the children were whispering, "Dad. Dad. Dad! DAD!" When he finally looked up, the kids, not surprisingly asked, "Where's your mom?"

My husband tried to explain that when she died her spirit went to heaven and her body was placed in the ground. Then he pointed to her headstone and said, "She is right there." The kids looked at him incredulously and asked, "She's in there?"

When Charlie nodded yes, William tried to lift the headstone up with his hands. Once he determined that he couldn't, he made up a game of jumping from one to the next, across the cemetery. While their brother was distracted with something new, the girls stood and cried because they really wanted to see their grandmother and show her their new outfits.

My husband told our daughters that although they might not be able to see her, she can always see them. As Charlie was relaying this story to me, it just further confirmed what we've been feeling for a long time.

Life is short.

Family is important.

Follow your heart.

Everything will work out.

And that is why, change for us is coming soon.

We've been faced with some very big questions over the past few weeks.

What do we want to do?

Where do we want to live?

When will all of this happen?

How will all of this happen?

We think we have it figured out. But details won't emerge until they are confirmed. Until then, we're trying our best to answer the questions are children are posing. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why are clouds white? Why can't boys have babies? Why can't girls have peanuts and go potty standing up?

Then there was the question Carolyn asked the other day as we were sitting in the Santa Barbara restaurant where Charlie worked as a teenager. As she was nibbling on a burger she asked, "Mom, Dad? Where do cheeseburgers come from?"

I said, "A store" Charlie said, "A cow" and William shook his head and said, "A cheeseburger tree. Of course!"