a little known fact about me

When I've got a baby that needs to be changed - and kids that are running around creating havoc - I do not want to answer a telephone that is ringing off the hook.


More often than not, I let it go to voice mail because I find NO joy from talking on the phone when the kids are awake because they know that I'm distracted and their energy level increases one-hundred-fold. And when the kids are asleep, I don't like talking on the phone because I don't want to hear anything except the sound of quiet filling my ears.

If you want to get in touch with me, send me an e-mail. I promise I'll respond.

Eventually.

My mother dislikes talking on the phone so much that when I lived at home, she'd have me go ring the doorbell, just so she could tell the caller that OH! someone was at the door and she had to run.

Mom had a lot of good tricks.

Another one was telling us kids when we were little that the ice cream truck that we heard in our neighborhood was actually the man that took the bad children away and whenever we heard that familiar music we were to RUN and HIDE. And that's how Mom got out of spending money on seven kids for ice cream from a truck.

Almost as much as I dislike talking on the phone, I abhor answering the door when I don't know who is ringing the bell. Chances are, it's a solicitor and I can't stand being solicited. We live in a very residential area and people are always going door to door trying to peddle their goods. "My pest service is fine. I don't want to buy magazines or chocolate from your school. I would never buy beef from someplace other than a store or a farm. And I already have a Bible. Thankyouverymuchgoodbye."

"No really goodbye I'm closing the door now whether you leave or not. Once I grab my baby that is trying to crawl past you..."

If it's not a solicitor ringing the door, then why can't people call first to tell me they are coming over? Maybe because they know I won't answer the phone??

Charlie thinks I'm a hermit.

But a hermit would never want to leave the house and I love to go out.

I love to socialize.

Just not over the phone. Or with an unannounced visitor.

My husband answers the phone and the door. And that's fine when he's home because HE can deal with telemarketers and solicitors. But when he's not here, I usually ignore the calls and the knocks on our door. And that would be fine but our children are not as willing to ignore the outside world pounding to get in. They have learned to grab the phone and push TALK and they also love running to the front door and pulling back the blinds to see who is standing on our front step.

This has obviously put a major kink in my desire to be left alone.

Last night, at that crazy time that exists every night just before dinner when the kids are totally riled up and the baby is at the peak of fussiness, the doorbell rang.

I knew it was a solicitor. I just knew it. They always show up around supper time.

When the kids heard the doorbell, they ran to the front door and pulled the shades up and started to yell "HI!! HI!!"

Then, they yelled to me "Mommy! Somebody at da dooh!!"

And because I'm so stealth, I whispered to them, "Shhh!! We're not home!!"

They stood back and looked confused for a moment before responding "But mommy, we AWE home!!"

And I replied "Shhhh!! NO!! We're NOT home!!"

The kids were totally perplexed and asked "Den, where awe we??"

Because I didn't want to unnecessarily confuse our children and figured that maybe I'd teach them the intricacies of STAYING QUIET when people weren't standing outside on our step at that very moment and can probably hear everything that we are saying, I begrudgingly decided to answer the door. And there stood a delivery man, holding the pizza I had completely forgotten I had ordered.

45 minutes earlier.