Here Comes Peter Cottontail...

One of the great things about our neighborhood is our homeowner's association.

For $70.00 a month, we have access to three beautiful swimming pools that are open year round, five awesome tennis courts and more parks than I can count.

But the best thing about our community is the yearly arrival of Santa in Winter and the Easter Bunny in Spring. Not to mention, whenever there is a community event, there are free pony rides, balloons and lots of fake orange juice Sunny-D.

Last year, when our homeowner's association hosted the annual Spring Event, we took the children to see the Easter Bunny. They liked him about as much as they liked Santa.

We thought that this year, with an additional 12-months of maturity under their belts, the children might have a better time.

Once again, we thought wrong.

William started to scream as soon as he saw the fluffy character, promptly laid down on the grass and went limp. His two sisters promptly followed suit. While all the other children in our community anxiously waited in line for their turn to sit on the Easter Bunny's lap ... our trio were sprawled on the grass hyperventilating.

So, we moved on to the pony rides. I've never seen so many happy children in my entire life. Everyone was thrilled to have the opportunity to take a 15-second ride around the circular driveway at the Club House ... even the 18-month old baby in front of us.

For 20-minutes we patiently waited for a chance to ride the ponies, all the while our children were chanting "Pony wide! Pony wide! I go pony wide!!"

Finally, it was our turn.

Charlie and I had been optimistic about this activity because our children love ponies. But apparently, only the "not-real" kind. For approximately 2.5 seconds on this blissful Saturday morn, all three of our children were content to sit on their pony.

But then...

William cracked like an Easter Egg first. He wrapped himself around the Pony Master, who had been buckling the child on to the pony next to him, by clutching his neck as though the pony would eat him whole.

Elizabeth cracked next.

By that point - Carolyn was caught like a deer in the headlights. By the time she realized that her siblings had been plucked off one by one and she was the only one still on an equine, the ponies took off trotting. Fifteen seconds later, it was over and although she had tears streaking down her face ... she also had a smile that reached from ear to ear.

That smile quickly vanished, however, when our trio caught sight of the next act.

A balloon wielding ... clown.

This situation posed quite an enigma for our toddlers.

How is it possible to have such wonder, in the form of a balloon monkey climbing a balloon tree ... be created by such a dreadful creature?

This is not unlike the enigma I am currently facing.

How is it possible to have such a tasty treat, in the form of a six gram Dove chocolate Easter Egg ... contain 60 calories?

You mean to tell me that if I ate 34 of these little tiny eggs ... not even an entire bag ... that would put me over my daily caloritic allowance of 2,000?

I should have read the nutritional information before I prepared Easter baskets. It's enough to make me want to lay on the grass and hyperventilate.