how to buy a house: part iii

I hope no one is turning to us for advice on how to buy a home because we really have no idea what we're doing in all of this.

That being said: we presented an offer today. An offer that was approximately 27% below the asking price, but an offer that we believe is reasonable and fair based upon our thorough and detailed comparative market analysis. The absolute last thing I would ever want to do is try to buy the home for considerably less than what it is worth, but I believe that we genuinely put forth an offer that is appropriate for a house that was SIGNIFICANTLY overpriced.

Now, we just hold our breath and see what happens.

If things go the way that we hope they will, we will be closing in 21 days and moving in approximately two weeks before the children are due to start Kindergarten.

By note to Steve: Guy and I are discussing at length the things that we'll need to have done, first and foremost. If it works with your schedule, we'll be sending you a plane ticket. Maybe you can come celebrate your birthday with us (and for that matter, the entire month of September) knocking down walls and installing new cabinets?

By note to Mark: We might need you, too. How's your calendar look?

Today was a long day for us, driving around and checking out other potential properties before we concluded that no other property remotely compared to the one we (and our children) had our hearts set upon. And for those who asked, the house is situated at an elevation of approximately 40 feet higher than the creek, so it does not appear likely it's in a flood plain, but we'll be looking at County records to confirm.

Since Charlie's laptop is still in the shop being fixed, we picked up a portable DVD player for the children to watch a movie while we signed all of the contract papers. Several hours later, we treated everyone to hot fudge sundaes for dinner and concluded that moving and buying a house with four children makes things like planting them in front of a DVD for several hours on end and feeding them hot fudge sundaes for dinner, a perfectly acceptable thing to do.

Our schedules and systems are so out of whack, if we don't get back on to a routine, we'll soon be approving sword fights while Mommy and Daddy look at just one more house.

Following our busy afternoon, we came home and jumped in the hotel swimming pool. After a few minutes, I retreated to the hot tub and three of the four children followed me. This felt like the first real FUN that the children had all day, and while we sat there talking, the lifeguard came over and informed me that children under the age of 10 were not allowed in the hot tub.

WHAT?

WHY NOT??

She pointed at the sign above us. I looked up at the warning sign affixed to the wall and it read that it is highly recommended children under the age of 10 (along with the elderly, pregnant women and those under the influence of alcohol or select prescription drugs) not use the hot tub.

Not only have *I* received my lifeguard certification, we have spent an exorbitant amount of time in hot tubs over the past few years, and I'm very cognizant of what my children can tolerate. So although I thought her request was ludicrious, I did not want to challenge her authority in front of our children or all of the other hotel guests, so I obliged and asked my children to please sit on the first step and keep only their legs in the hot tub. Despite the fact my children weren't fully submerged, I still managed to get the evil eye from the teenage lifeguard.

Less than 10 minutes later, the lifeguard returned to tell me that *I* needed to get out of the hot tub because I had been in long enough and she was afraid I was going to pass out. While I appreciate her concern for my well being, the hot tub wasn't even 100 degrees and was almost cool to the touch. It honestly surprised me, that I was able to hold my composure and thanking her, climbed out of the hot tub, gathered my children, and returned to the room where I gave everyone baths and put them to bed.

But now, that I'm sitting here, updating my blog and sipping a glass of wine ...

I'm tempted to go down to the front desk and tell the clerk that at the outrageous rate they are charging for us to stay in this establishment, per night, I should be able to SLEEP in the hot tub without a peep from ANYONE.

We are so DONE with living in a hotel.

Dear God: Thank you for this beautiful day, our beautiful children, our health and the opportunity to bid on a beautiful piece of property. Please, let our offer be joyfully accepted - or if there are any further negotiations - please let them go peacefully and quickly. And please, Lord, let us close escrow in 21 days and be in our own space. Until then, please give me the patience to not choke the breakfast attendant who would not bring out any milk for our cereal, or articial syrup for our waffles this morning, because we arrived less than five minutes after the breakfast station had closed. Please also give me the patience to not choke the 16-year old pool Nazi lifeguard at our hotel pool who has successfully and swiftly managed to crack the code to driving me nucking futs.

In Your Holy name we sincerely pray.

Amen.