the underbelly of my week

I read an article this past week regarding an interview that was conducted with a top blogger. Their advice was if you want to make it big in the blogging world, don't gripe on your blog.

I guess I'll never make it big in the blogging world because I'm a gripey gripe griper. My life is so transparent on this blog that this is a like a litmus test for what's happening in my world. I've tried and there is no way for me to filter my thoughts. It'd be easier to walk by an opened bag of Reese's miniature peanut butter cups.

Last night I finished up an antibiotic that I started last week. Thankfully, it did what it was supposed to do and my sinus infection is totally gone. But I never enjoy antibiotics. They always throw off my whole system.

Other things that throw off my whole system include a house full of people who are sick with the stomach flu. And Day Light Savings time is quite possibly the worst thrower offer of systems, ever. For the past week, it has been nearly impossible to get the children in to bed before 8:30 PM. As a result, they've been sleeping until almost 8:30 AM. Which means breakfast is late - lunch is late - dinner is late. It's a vicious cycle that I've fed in to because all of the kids, including Sir Sleeps Not A Lot (AKA: HENRY), have been sleeping in until EIGHT THIRTY IN THE MORNING. Can I get a Hallelujah?

My home computer crashed this week. My work computer also crashed this week. If not for Charlie's iPhone, I would have absolutely no internet access. It's been kind of awesome because I was really starting to feel like between my day job and blogging, my real life was being consumed by some "virtual / exists only in the computer" life.

There's no doubt the amount of time I spend on the computer on any given day borders on ungodly. I'm on the computer much of the day for work and again at night, to update my blog. In recent months, the bulk of my life exists on a 24-inch flat screen that is prone to turning blue and flashing the words, "Fatal Error."

When I've got something interesting to write about, and I'm able to tap in to the correct words to make a story interesting, I really do enjoy blogging. It's not a burden at all. It's actually one of the most enjoyable things I do all day. But sometimes it's downright exhausting. Especially when you feel like you can't turn it off and throughout the day, you are frequently asking yourself, "Is THIS bloggable? How should I craft THIS story? Will people LIKE it?" Very soon, instead of living REAL time, you are living BLOG time. And in doing so, it feels like you're missing out on your own reality.

Over the past few weeks, I've been receiving a lot of requests to advertise on my blog. This past week, I was contacted by a company that offered to send me two gallons of chocolate milk if I would write about their product. While I certainly appreciate the offer, I've got such a limited amount of time to creatively write as it is, do I really want to spend my time writing solicited advertisements?

For a long time now, I've been trying to figure out, what is the purpose of this blog?

Is it just for fun - or is it an entirely NON PROFITABLE business?

Am I trying to peddle some product?

Am I trying to break in to the world of advertising?

Am I trying to become famous?

How many followers do you have?

How much exposure? Penetration? Links?

How many readers? How many page views?

If you want to get your name out there, you need to go read other blogs and COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT! You need to buy ad space. You need to write freelance!

I'm not very good at any of those things. Because I frequently remind myself, "What's the REAL reason that I'm blogging?" If the REAL reason that I'm blogging is so that I can have a creative outlet to record these precious memories for my children's posterity, who the hell cares what kind of page views I have?

Well, anyone that writes a blog cares.

(That's why they have statistics meters.)

If you're at all familiar with blogging, you are aware that there are some bloggers out there who pull in over six figures a year from advertisements. I seriously cannot imagine anything more awesome in this whole wide beautiful world than writing and making gobs of money for it. I also cannot imagine anything more discouraging, because the odds that anyone would ever have that kind of success is virtually nil. So perhaps I should be extremely flattered that someone reached out to me to advertise on my blog!

And maybe I would be if they offered to compensate me in currency instead of TWO GALLONS OF CHOCOLATE MILK.