Wednesday, July 30, 2008

wednesday weigh in

This has been a tough week.

I've been thinking a lot about our dog Molly, who will be 14 in December.

One day I think that she is on her last legs and we need to put her down, the next day, she is bouncing around like a puppy. Still, she is losing control of her bladder and our garage absolutely reeks. Every time I to outside to see her - or get something from the refrigerator - I have to hold my nose. My life will be a whole lot easier when she is gone, but just thinking about her being gone makes me sad.

It's weak, but I cannot get myself to take my dog in to the vet as she is wagging her tail and looking up at me with her big gentle brown eyes with the intention of saying "Goodbye." But yet, I also don't want her health to deteriorate to the point where she is laying in her own waste and unable to move. I'm worried because I know this is something I should probably do, but I can't.

Then there's my father.

When I talked to him today, he sounded awful, probably the worst I've ever heard him. He is going through a difficult time in life and is very upset that his new friend, Mary, is not being accepted by the family. There is no doubt that he - and those that have helped him - have been through a lot. He has Parkinson's and his divorce, in which he lost a large chunk of his estate, is not yet finalized.

Within the past few months, Mary has begun to spend more and more time with my father. She is with him every day (and every night) and the concern is that she (and her son) are after my father for his money.

People need money to survive, but dang whenever it's around, it sure does cause a lot of problems.

I've heard both sides of the story and I don't know what to think or believe any more. I know that dad is not getting any younger and I know that his health is not going to improve. I also know that Mary makes him happy. From what I could see when I was visiting, she genuinely cares for him and sincerely, at this point, I can't think of anything that is more important that that.

Dad says that he is tying what remains of his estate in to an irrevocable trust, so there is no need to worry. But I do. Because as the youngest child, it's a part of who I am. I don't worry about the money as much as I worry about the genuine love and acceptance that my father has in what remains of his life.

Then there's my sister Mary who is going through radiation for breast cancer and from what my family tells me, she is having a very difficult time of it. I still haven't written to her. But I'll do that, tonight.

Then there's my sister Beth's very good friend, Craig, who fell 12-feet off a ladder and broke his neck and back and ribs. It's a miracle that he survived the fall. He was just moved to a rehab facility in Boston and my brother-in-law started a blog for him.

Then there's work.

And four small children.

And potty training.

And ice cream bowls that are too small.

Then there is my mom's fiancé, Jim, a wonderful man who I've known for the past 30 years. Late last week, he collapsed while eating out at a restaurant with my mother and their friends and had to be taken off to the hospital in an ambulance. He spent the night in the hospital and was treated for dehydration before being discharged the following day. He's home now. But I'm worried because I love the guy and he has to watch our children in less than a month when we participate in our triathlon.

And then there's our triathlon.

Which is the point of this post.

Last week I finally got myself in to the pool and I swam 1300 meters. The race will only require for me to swim 500 meters, but there is a big difference between swimming in a shark and current-free pool and swimming in a shark and current-abundant ocean, so I'm trying to add more distance to each swim so I'm more prepared for "race day."

What I figured out is that if I swim the side-stroke, I can go forever. Moreover, I think that the side-stroke makes me look less like a seal. Especially if I'm wearing my neon blue Speedo bathing suit with bright yellow swim cap and hot pink goggles.

Oh yes. I look good. But in a way that is unlike anything you've ever seen gracing the cover of Sports Illustrated.

On Sunday I rode my bicycle 12 (very hilly) miles with our neighbor and then Charlie and I ran two (very hilly) miles together on Monday night, with the children. He pushed two in our double BOB jogging stroller and I pushed the other two in our bike trailer with the stroller conversion.

My athletic husband, who ran a marathon a few years ago, was galloping ahead and I was trying desperately to catch him. I thought I was doing pretty well. As I was running up a hill pushing 80 pounds worth of stroller and children, William piped up "Mom, what are you doing?" and I breathlessly answered "I'm running!" He paused for a moment before laughing, "No you're NOT!!"

Lesson for the week: Nothing helps to boost a downed morale like endorphins. And nobody keeps you humble like a three-year-old.

Anyone that leaves me a comment telling me how they are doing with their goals, will be entered in to a contest to win a CD compilation of my all-time favorite bust-a-move work out music. Trust me. You'll love it.

Almost as much as you'll love the new ice cream bowls I'll probably send you, too.


  1. Goals? What goals? Just kidding... hmmm. Well, we didn't sell our house in Indiana BUT we did lease it this week for almost as much as the mortgage. The good news is when you add in all the utilities and security system etc it almost evens out. I started really getting back into my exercise routine and WW point awareness and I'm feeling better physically. NOW... I just have to move out of my parents house!!! ARRRGGGHHH!

  2. My big weight-loss goals have been a bit derailed, but I'm keeping up the water drinking and going for at least a little walk or swim every day...Does that count?

    Most of my goals right now are about packing up the house for moving overseas. And prepping the five-year-old for kindergarten.

    I know. I'm lame. But I'm really proud of you!

  3. P.S. That picture of Henry in the stroller? How can you stand the adorableness?

    AND...I'm feeling for you, with all the other things going on in your life. You're amazing.

  4. My goal was to try to get out a run 3 times a week. So far, for the last 4 weeks, I have been going out! Last week, I even went out in the downpour that we had. My running partner and I were soaked, but we ran! Very proud of us. I hope to one day do a triathalon also.

  5. I am shamed to say that my progess is...NOT. I had every intention of getting back into running, and I have been all of once in the last two months.

    But I am feeling mighty guilty now that I just admitted that. So tomorrow I'm going.

  6. I started my post pregnancy diet (Shayna is now 3 1/2 years old) on June 1st and have lost 10 pounds! I am working out at the gym 3X a week and my MP3 player skips songs on it because it flew violently off the treadmill when I decided that shadow boxing would be fun for the last mile. I SO need new songs! Can I still be entered into your contest, even though we are good friends????

  7. I'm do to have a baby in 16 days!! I have a 3 year old, a 1 year old, two step kids and I watch 3 extra kids and an extra one year old in my home everyday. My goal is to stay SANE!!

    So far, it has worked. I am as big as a house, I have the worst Braxton Hicks contractions ever yet this week we have accomplished to stay busy so we're not stuck in my house all day. We have all ventured to the Farmer's Market, the Library, the Park and McDonald's play place, and we're headed to the zoo tomorrow.

    It is tough with 8 kids in tow and a huge belly but not nearly as tough as it would be stuck in my small house with everyone fighting and making a huge mess. I think this covers my workouts because when all the kids go home at the end of the day and my kids are in bed...I am NOT doing anything else!!!

  8. I just finished graduate school and want to lose some of the weight acquired by hours of sitting at the computer at night, and a full time internship AND a full time job. I started off well, but then the gang from San Diego showed up to see me graduate, and all bets are off. So my weight loss goals are a little off kilter right now. I am anxious to get back on track.

    You have some very tough issues on your hand right now, don't you?! I believe with all my heart that God has already given you the strength. You show us that daily through your blog. I feel privileged just to read what you write.

    And when I return back to San Diego, I keep an eye out for a beautiful woman and her gaggle of gorgeous kids. I think from some of the pictures you post that you live close to where I used to. I actually was at Sea World the day that you were supposed to go with the kids in June! Small world!

    Anyway, keep your chin up. You are an inspiration in ALL areas. (And to prove that I'm not sucking up to be selected, I'll remain anonymous!)

  9. I don't know if I ever commented about my goals before or not, but I will say now that I am doing okay. My hubbie left 2 weeks ago for Iraq (by way of Ft.Dix NJ) for a year, and in the two weeks that he's been gone I've done better about making time for myself to exercise than I did even before he left... walking/running least 3 times each week. Woo hoo!! Thanks for the motivation!

  10. Thank you for encouraging us to set goals, I did and it is working. I walk on the treadmill daily and ride the stationary bike. I have only missed a few days since starting. I have also started a blog for myself only to chart my exercise, weight, measurements and food. I feel much better and have stayed motivated, thus far 10 pounds lost. YAY!!

  11. My dear Grandmother past away last week. I am down and out as this was a little unexpected that she would pass so quickly. However, I am going to the gym every morning because the endorphins are what keep me going right now. I also joined Jenny Craig last October and took off the last 20 lbs. that I had from my triplet pregnancy. My goals are going good. Now I just need to learn to maintain. I guess I need some smaller ice cream bowls. I would love your CD as I am always looking for new songs to "bust my move" too! Thanks for your inspiration.

  12. Holy Moley Jen, you're life is a triathalon! I think if you didn't have the swimming and running you'd be in rough shape. You need that outlet, AND you need larger ice cream bowls.

    We're finally putting our 2 bdrm condo on the market and trying to get it ready to sell. With a 5 yo. and 2 1/2 yr. old triplets, this is a goal I cannot begin to reach! I get one little corner cleaned out, and the laundry pile gets to a height that is truly dangerous for toddlers. I haven't begun to tackle potty training. Right now I'm just trying to keep one triplet from removing her diaper and decorating with poop. I have to duck tape her and put her onesie on backwards, and she can still get it off!!!

    Hang in there, and get some bigger bowls.


  13. I feel so bad for your dad, Jen. The last thing he needs in his life right now is people fighting over HIS money. (It is his money and God only knows what he's lost over the years earning it, and should he like to leave it all to your dog, or his new friend Mary, or spend every last cent of it, then so be it as long he can leave this world happy.)

    My goals right now are to get Amanda better, get the kids in preschool this Fall, read to the kids tomorrow, because God only knows if it was up to Greg they'd be retarded, and go to the grocery store and shave my armpit hair.

    I should probably find out why my new butter crock hasn't been delivered too.

    My goals are nowhere near as huge as yours. Maybe I'll just stay in bed tomorrow.

  14. Be vegan by the first of september.
    (Just need to get rid of stuff and change a few buying habbits)

    I'm trying for a month polyphasic sleep.
    Contribute to opensource projects.
    Add articles in my blog.

    But this seams so easy compared to every body's goals.
    Another reason why I should succeed. :)

  15. The day before I was supposed to run a 10K I got in a car accident (nothing too serious but bd enough to derail my workouts). I swear it's because I kept saying, "I don't want to run this race", "I'm not ready to run this race", "Why the hell did I sign up for this race?"
    I haven't run since and the accident was last November. Since then, I've gained 10 pounds and my clothes fit horribly. Lucky for me, the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure is coming up (October 12th). I've decided to do the couch to 5K program (again) to get ready for it. I definitely need some new music to get myself moving again.

  16. According to my smartass wii fit, i am down 1.3 pounds! And I've made it to each of the 3 workouts I planned for the week!

  17. In NJ a live-in aide through a legitimate agency costs $195/day plus room & board. An off-the-books eastern European woman is $100/day in cash + r&b. If your father needs someone to cook, clean, run the house & care for him he should probably make a business arrangement with Mary; she does deserve something.

  18. my two current goals are to walk daily (with my three almost-eleven-month-old babies) and not eat sugar.

    the walking is much easier for me than the sugar. i feel i might actually lose some weight if i laid off the sugar.

    good luck to you. you are doing great!

  19. I love reading your blog and seeing your "real-ness". Thanks for being an inspiration.

    I'm not a runner, never have been and don't know if I ever will be. But I decided to sign up with my sister (who has run a marathon) for a 5K in September. So, my goals have been to work out at the gym 3 times a week for 30-45 mins each time. I've been doing it now for about a month. I haven't lost a pound but have gotten stronger and can now run for 20 mins straight! :) I also, more recently, have been thinking maybe it's time for me to take ice cream out of my nightly routine. Although it's such a big habit to break! I'd just like to lose my 20 pounds of baby fat from my 2 boys. . . .but I think I love ice cream as much as you. Maybe I'll find something else to cut out instead! :)

  20. Hi Jen,

    I'm so sorry about Molly. What an awful decision. Our beloved dog Zeus died very when I was about 18 weeks pregnant with my triplets. As awful as that was, I think it would have been harder to make the decision of when was the right time. Big hugs coming your way.

    As for goals... I've met my weight loss goal of losing 20 lbs. Yay me! My exercise goal was to be able to run 5K by the end of August. I'm up to a little over 2 miles, so I think I can do it. My workout time is limited, so I'm trying to gradually increase speed to cover more distance without adding too much more time. I usually work out 3 times a week for about 45 minutes and do cardio and weights. Maybe I'll drop the weights once a week and try to do a longer run. Just thinking out loud here...

    Big kudos to you for continuing the triathalon training despite all you have on your plate. And I agree that those ice cream bowls are entirely too small.


  21. Lots going on. You need to find bigger ice cream bowls!! I've taken a few steps back but I will get back on track! I bought an MP3 player and can't find the right songs to put on it for motivation...YUGH! so I'm entering the contest!!

    I'm drinking water (8+ glasses), cut out standing up while eating and today 'walked' over 5 miles. I will start running this weekend. (wish me luck) Next goal is to stop eating past 7 pm!

    I came up w/ a good idea for the kids and decided to do it myself. They get happy faces w/positve actions. If they get 25 happy faces - they get a toy from the toy box. So I give myself a happy face every day I meet my goals and then pay myself $1.00 per day per happy face. ;-) (hey. I'm the adult) So far it's working. But the challenges will be getting tougher soon, as I keep adding new goals once I've met the old one.

    Hope your week goes better. Love, Marg

  22. My goal this summer was to eat lots and lots of fruits and vegetables and not so much ice cream. So far I'm eating lots and lots of everything. But I have green smoothies for breakfast so at least I feel healthier.

  23. Goals. My recently set goals are going...pretty good. I recently set a goal to be a "nicer" mommy. I have to amazing kids, and I love them with all my heart. I realized that at times I was not being the best to them. So my new goal is to show them respect, give them some slack, some room to grow. And understand that they are just kids, and yelling will get me no where. I am also trying to choose my battles wisley with the old hubby. hmmmm, that one may be tuff!

  24. Well, I just got back from a road trip to Chicago with a car full of teenagers. I am sure you can,food,and more food. I reached my swimming against the current goal on July 11th, but still have to reach the 10k and weightloss goal by Aug 30th! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have your CD.
    My manly unmarried brother had to put his BF, a samyod, to sleep he had the bright idea to bring the dog home to bury her. He still crys about it. I personally couldn't even begin to do it. Can you call in a favor for someone else to do it......if it comes to that?

  25. My goal this summer is to exercise one hour a day. So far I have been successful 48 out of 52 days. Now I need to add some resistance training to the cardio.

    Would you consider a blog post listing the titles on the CD for those of us who do not win the giveaway? It is always great to have music to exercise to. This week I have been listening to the new Mama Mia soundtrack - corny but upbeat.

    Laura M.

  26. I am participating in my very first sprint triathlon on Sunday. I have been training since May and am SO curious to see if it pays off.
    I was just looking for some motivating music this morning because although the race says "no headphones" I WILL NOT be able to complete the run without music.
    The way I figure it...they won't be bothering the people in the back of the pack:0

  27. Oh my goodness - I would love a CD of your workout music.

    My current goal is to exercise at least 20 minutes for 5 days/week. I usually do around an hour though. I am currently trying to lose a bunch of weight and it isn't coming (or going!) easy. I have lost a few pounds at this point, although I do notice some changes in my body.

    Because I haven't seen the pounds come off like I would like, I tend to get very discouraged so I am trying to keep myself exercising because I know it's "the right thing to do" and I hope that at some point it will pay off.

    Thanks for asking :)

  28. Well after three vacations in three weeks (and an additional 10lbs later), I have sort of fallen off of the wagon. As of Monday I am back at it though. I have run three days this week so far and have plans to run on Saturday and Sunday. My goal is to 21lbs by New Years...that's 1lbs a week. Totally doable, right?

  29. I'm trying so very hard to stay true to my fitness/weight loss goals. I've been on track for a whole week, which is pretty good for me, especially considering the craptacular last two days I've had. Though in comparison to your week I feel like I've been bouncing around in rainbows.
    Sorry things are so tense right now. Here's to hoping they get better soon!

  30. Well only weighing in on one issue, talk to Molly she'll be your guide. If she's still eating and enjoying life let here be. Get some kind a absorbent pad and confine her to that area several times a day. When she stops eating, shes' ready to stop living.

    blessing to you

  31. We had the same problem with our dog last year...she just turned 15 this month. I was going crazy because when she slept she would lose control of her bladder. After 5 months of pure torture a friend told me about a pill she put her dog on and it solved the whole problem. We got our dog on a dosage of Proin and within 2 days the problem was solved. Maybe it could help Molly. 6 months ago I was ready to put our dog down and now she's doing great!