This morning, I woke up at 4:40 AM to take Charlie to the airport for a 6:00 flight. The beauty of living in a small town, with a small airport, is we left the house by 4:53 and were at the airport by 5:01. By the time I returned home, he had already checked through security, purchased a cup of coffee, and was sitting at his gate.
When I arrived home, Henry was awake preparing his breakfast, which consisted of a chocolate protein shake. Henry's been on a major health kick and in addition to being scrupulous about his diet, works out for at least 2-3 hours, every single day. Seeing the transformation in his physique over the past few months has been incredible; but seeing his devotion and discipline to following this regimented program he has established for himself is even more awe-inspiring. I've always known he was incredibly headstrong. Now he has the chest, shoulders, arms, back and legs to go with it.
After trying his hand working at the local grocery store last year, Henry decided that rather than sell food, he wanted to cook food, so is now working at a nearby restaurant; posturing himself for a team lead position. Quite ambitious for a 16-year old, but he feels he's ready. The only catch is that he works the morning shift, so has to be there by 6:00 AM on Saturday and Sunday morning to fire up the oven. Thankfully, we live along the Champlain Bike Trail, and the restaurant is also along the Trail - so he can easily ride his bike to and fro. He can actually get there faster than if I drive him, and, since his gym is across the street from the restaurant - he can pop over for his work out, then ride his bike home.
All this to say, after Henry left this morning at 5:55, I realized that I have the entire house to myself for the next 11 hours with nothing scheduled. All the laundry is done. The house is clean. The yard is in good shape. The plants are watered, bills are paid. The fridge is stocked. I'm racking my brain and cannot remember the last time I had the house all to myself for that span of time with nothing pressing to do? It might have been early October 2004, before I was admitted to the hospital?
I poured myself a cup of hot tea, lit the fire - because the sensation of autumn is in the glorious Vermont air - and snuggled up with my day planner to contemplate what in the world I wanted to achieve, today.
If anything at all!
Two sips in, my phone rang. It was Elizabeth calling to alert me that she was on her way to a 7:00 AM appointment for an MRI on her knee which has been bothering her for the past several months. When the appointment was first scheduled, she had asked if I wanted to go with her. Since her appointment was scheduled before I knew that Charlie would be flying out of town at O'dark thirty, and I would thereby, already be awake .... I cringed at the idea of waking up early to sit in a hospital waiting room for an extended period of time on a Sunday morning.
Rather than dwell on whether my lack of desire to attend an MRI appointment with my 18-year old makes me a bad mother, I considered that perhaps this was a unique opportunity for her to navigate a specialist appointment, all on her own? It's really all in the perspective we take: I'm not a bad mother, I'm a great mother who wants her children to be independent. While I enjoy a cup of tea at home on a Sunday morning.
Elizabeth called me while she was still in her dorm, and because her building abuts the UVM hospital, within three minutes of leaving her room - she was in the Radiology department.
Her check-in was supposed to be at 7:15, her scan at 8:00, and she arrived a whole 25 minutes early because she abhors being late to things. We chatted for 25 minutes, and then another 50 more, when no one had arrived to check her in. The conversation we had in those 75 minutes was so awesome, nearer and dearer to my heart than any conversation I've possibly had with her in the past 75 months.
(OK, that's an exaggeration, but it's been a long time since we've had such a heart-to-heart.)
We talked about school. Roommates. Parties. People drinking too much. What they were drinking. How it's important to know your limits. How she used her first aid skills to help people who didn't know their limits and blacked out. She said she had a drink, but then consumed 32 ounces of water (a full Nalgene bottle) and was passing out granola bars so people had food on their stomach. That night she made a batch of Ramen noodles before she went to sleep. She loves the cross-country team and is so grateful to be on it; especially because of the camaraderie with all of her teammates. They're good, good kids, not really "in to" the party scene, which is a perfect fit for her. She is very aware of her surroundings, and while at an outing last week, felt the tiniest twinge of uncomfortableness when a few guys got too close; so she grabbed her buddy and left. Her intuition is on high alert, but next time I come to campus, can I please bring her taser? She has taken the bus all around town and is keen on knowing the routes. Last week, she got off at the wrong stop so had to walk a mile... pretty sure that won't happen again. She joined the Red Bull ski and snowboard racing team for winter, and is excited at the prospect of riding out west. She loves her geology class, much more than she thought she would, and spends hours rewriting her notes from each lecture. Although she's All-In at college, she still wants to help me with the Scout troop and plans on attending our Court of Honor, tomorrow night. Next Sunday, she is coming home for dinner and bringing a few friends. How many is too many???
If we were sitting next to each other, I doubt we would have spoken so openly and freely, and laughed so heartily. What is it about talking on the phone with your mom that is just so good for the soul? No distractions. No scrolling on the phone because you're on it. No unintentional body language, or inadvertent eye rolling, that might set someone off. It was just MAGIC.
Elizabeth and I have a very good relationship, but I feel like it has gotten even better since she has been away at school. She was desperate for more freedom, we were desperate for less drama; and she now has the space and opportunity to figure things out... as she SHOULD at this age. The education that happens when kids move away to college, occurs across so many levels that young adults desperately need. And parents need to let them experience. On their own.
We wrapped up our call when she realized that no one was there to check her in and she had to go sort things out. She texted me a few minutes later to say she's all set and was on her way to the MRI.
See, it was really good that I didn't go! She figured things out and feels empowered; we had a wonderful talk in the midst of it, AND I never had to leave the comfort of my living room. Win-win-win!
I've since poured my third cup of tea, updated my blog and am refocusing on what I want to do next with the next EIGHT hours of free time before me.
Oops. Gotta go. Carolyn's calling.
What a wonderful, happy stage of life we have entered! :)
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