A few nights ago, as I was tucking him in to bed, he was talking to me about school. And what he said is that he does not like Kindergarten one little bit, except for snack time and recess and taking the bus - because those things are fun.
But apparently, his teacher makes him color pictures and sometimes? Those pictures have lines and he has to stay INSIDE the lines. And if he makes a tiny mistake and colors outside the lines? His teacher will kick him. And then, she won't help him pick up his crayons and put them in the box at the end of the class.
Do you know what that woman purportedly does, instead of helping MY little boy?
According to William, she sits up at the front of the classroom and drinks beer.
Can you imagine the tales that he tells about what happens at home? lol
ReplyDeleteLucie
Oh that is hilarious! I have such a vision of her up there in front of the class sipping her beer, getting up only to kick a poorly coordinated kindergarten colorer.
ReplyDeleteLeslie
Amazing who they let into our public classrooms...
ReplyDelete...and teachers, they too.
Oh my goodness!! That's one of the best school stories I've heard in a long time!! (Let's hope it is his imagination working overtime, not the real deal!!!)
ReplyDeleteHysterical! Well, hot damn. That kindergarten teacher is on to something!
ReplyDeleteWhen my son was in kindergarten, he said he wanted to go back to Ms Jeni's (his daycare lady) because kindergarten was just "work, work, work". Three years later, when his sister started kindergarten, he tried to tell her how easy she had it, so I reminded him how hard it had been for him. His favorite parts of the days were free-time, recess, lunch, gym, etc.
ReplyDeleteHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
ReplyDeleteOkay, that is the funniest thing I have heard in a LONG TIME. I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!
That's priceless and the picture is too cute for words.
ReplyDeleteI can see his teacher now, sitting with her feet up on the desk, swilling beer and ignoring poor, poor William.
LOL!!!! What a mean, mean teacher! Not helping to pick up the crayons and kicking little children!
ReplyDeleteOf course, if I had to teach kindergarten, I'd probably sit there and drink beer all day too.....
As a former kindergarten teacher, I am dying!!!! Ha Ha! I always told my parents at Open House....I'll believe half of what they tell me about you if you'll do the same. You wouldn't believe the stories WE hear! =)
ReplyDeleteDude. We have GOT to be more careful with our first grade students, and hide the beer bottles better.
ReplyDelete(Although I did have a second grade teacher who wouldn't let me go to the bathroom unless I kissed her feet...I'll never ever forget that. No, I didn't kiss her feet, that's just gross. She must have just had it up to *here* with us asking to leave the class!)
lol I love the tall tales of little children trying to get out of school. It's great! It'll get better, William! Soon you'll be forced to play kickball or *gasp* soccer! ;o)
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I wonder what he's telling his teacher about what happens at HOME? One of the teachers at my daughter's kindergarten orientation said to the parents "If you promise not to believe everything you hear about school, I'll promise not to believe everything I hear about home." I think she'd appreciate this story.
ReplyDeleteSWEET! Oh you east-coasters!
ReplyDeleteI'm teaching in the wrong place. Beer at school - that could solve a lot of tension problems!
ReplyDelete(I'm joking)
I love it!!!!
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean that on Monday when I have 3 hours (straight) of the same loopy year 10's I can take a bottle of wine in????
William you are my hero!!
I say it is time for a parent teacher conference, lol. That little fellow of yours sure has an imagination (or at least I hope he does).
ReplyDeleteKathy
Or I love the pic of your wall painted, it is beautiful. The bottom color is great I am sitting here trying to think what I can paint that color:)
ReplyDeleteThats it. I may have to move to Virginia. I have heard the schools are in terrible condition, but this is outrageous. Where are Williams handcuffs that I bought him? I am going to make a civil arrest of his teacher. Tell William that Noni will come to his rescue.
ReplyDeleteMOM
oh dear. This gave me a good laugh! Kindergarteners are so full of it! My Henry like to tell stories too ;)
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS! I want that teacher's job...
ReplyDeleteKick him? Drink beer? From his imagination to his lips I hope. What do the girls say about the K. teacher?
ReplyDeleteWhen our son went to kindergarten he was NOT a content and happy student. He had so many other things he would rather be doing than sitting still long enough to do fiddely little tasks. There were things to climb on outside in the play ground or in the gym, there were blocks to build things with and lots of people to talk to as you ran past them or chased after them, there were rocks to turn over, bugs to find and clouds to examine. He came to DETEST going to school and his teacher became the enemy in his mind, a situation that repeated itself every school day and with each new school year. He was never happy at school nor did he ever become a good student (though it wasn't for lack of brains because he was and is clever, articulate and accomplished). My suggestion is get into the face of the teacher and come up with a plan to make school a positive experience asap because the negative feelings now can have a long lasting effect in your little fellows mind. I wonder if our guy might have had a better time if we had found a way to improve his experience?
P.S. Our daughters loved school - same teachers.
This makes me wonder what my students say about me!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe the audacity of that teacher. It's bad enough to drink beer at the front of the class, but then to not help pick up crayons? That is just the ultimate!
Ok then ;) That' is one of the funnies tales of kindergarden I've ever heard. Where do these kids get this stuff from? Imagination at it's best. Got to love it...let's hope his second week is better....er different lol
ReplyDeleteOmg. I needed that laugh today! Thanks William!
ReplyDeleteMiss u guys.
Jessica et al
Thank you! I had a rough night and needed a laugh.
ReplyDeletePerhaps William should consider majoring in Anthropology. At least then he could drink beer WITH his professors!
ReplyDeletePoor guy. Sounds like Kindergarten is a rough place :)
THIS IS HILARIOUS! I had to read it to my husband.
ReplyDeletehe can't be right --- I'm sure it's a screwdriver, not beer! ;-)
ReplyDeleteMy kids' first grade teacher made a very profound deal with us at Back to School Night...She said, "If you promise not to believe what the kids say about me, I promise not to believe what they say about YOU!" I thought that was a VERY reasonable deal!
ReplyDelete