Saturday, February 06, 2010

did you see it?!

This morning when I got back from a leisurely walk around the block very strenuous workout, the children were quietly doing homeschool activities and Charlie was in the kitchen making a full spread breakfast, including cereal, fresh fruit, bagels and individual omelets for each of the kids. And although I highly doubt my courage to open our home up to the world (more than I already do on this blog), there was a very brief moment when I thought,"Wow. This guy could have his own show."

(Of course, he'd never do it.)

I've started writing a post about my husband's five second appearance on national television, but we're running out the door this morning to help pack boxes for the Hilarious Givers.

I can't wait and I'm anxious to know!

Did you see the show?

If you didn't catch it, you can watch it here by clicking on THIS link. Keep in mind, the STS {which is Squadron of Triplet Support, not to be confused with Send Tequila Soon} doesn't make their appearance until the last eight minutes.

I'll tell you more of what I thought later. But as a preview, I thought that the show was great and I am extremely proud of the Mann family for pulling back the curtain on their lives and revealing to world the real struggles that they are facing. It takes a lot of courage to open yourself up to the court of public opinion. And it was clear to me that they were desperate for help, hence the reason they sent out a SuperNanny SOS.

What did you think?

Do you have discipline problems like that?

If not - what advice would you give to that family - or a family facing similar challenges?

30 comments:

  1. WOW, WOW, and WOW! We rarely watch network TV but happened to catch the Show last night -what a treat to see your hubby after you had Blogged about it, I was on the lookout!! My advice, yah right.In the beginning, I was just trying not to judge and felt totally sorry for their situation -how brave they were for as you say "pulling back the curtain." That whole bedtime scene would probably have had Children's Services taking my kids away because I went BESERK! Let's pray that family can continue to truly find the love, patience and calm to enjoy one another. OR send their oldest daughter to boarding school...

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  2. I saw it and made my husband watch. I said, "I don't know that guy, but he's the husband of the woman whose blog I read every day. His name is Charlie!" I felt like a stalker.

    Lindsey

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  3. I'm really glad they pulled it together also. I watch that show every Friday, and couldn't believe the way they handled situations. Ive only been a Mom for 2 years, and don't' have trips, but wow. They did an amazing job after SN got there, and I was really proud of them.
    I don't comment much on your blog, but I saw your husband and thought WOW!! He seems just as cool as you make him out to be. :)

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  4. First of all, PUT DOWN THE WOODEN SPOONS!!! That was creepy, especially how they would say "Trust and obey" or whatever right before they started hitting.....weird.

    More to the point, the thing I always get from Supernanny is BE CONSISTENT. Like she said, they were sending so many mixed messages and the kids knew they could always win (especially the 5 year old, Naomi -- which she made pretty clear when she whispered "I always win, I always win...").

    Personally, I am not a fan of Time Outs, but I think if you are consistent with them, they work. Set your rules and enforce them. I recently read somewhere, "it is harder to enforce 3 rules than to talk about 50 of them." So, so true. Discipline is HARD WORK and not fun, but it's so important.

    I would also echo your comment (in the previous comments) that SLEEP and DIET are essential to good behavior. But good sleeping and eating habits come from disciplined families. I seriously think that at least 90% of the behavior problems I observe (in my kids and others') are the result of poor sleep.

    Last but not least, I really loved Jo's advice about communication (i.e. the "show and share" book). I was so sad when I saw how poor the relationship was between Naomi and her mother. If they are fighting like that when she is 5, just imagine 13!!! I also found it very interesting when Jo pointed out that the kids were "reacting like they see you (the parents) react." That is a lesson that I can definitely learn from. You cannot expect them to behave better than you do. Self-control, patience, and respect must be modeled before they can be demanded.

    Sorry this is so long -- I also loved the show and Charlie's appearance was a highlight! Maybe they'll invite him back for another show soon :)

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  5. I watched and I thought Charlie did a great job! It was great that the three other triplet dads could come to Mr. Mann's aid. It's always good to know you are not alone.

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  6. I saw it! That's so exciting for your family!

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  7. I watched the show and honestly thought the triplets weren't THAT bad. Pretty much just normal 3 year old issues. It was the 5 year old driving everything in that house. The triplets saw and copied her behavior...her parents were spending so much time on her the other kids were getting less attention then they needed...and just the emotional exhaustion of having a kid you love but don't really LIKE. They were tired and defeated!

    As bad as that 5 year old was and as strained as her relationship was with her parents I am kind of suprised that Supernanny didn't suggest some kind of therapy for the 3 of them. That kid was SMART and I have a feeling she could revert to her old ways very quickly. When a kid has that much anger/rage I think you have to get to the bottom of it and not just learn how to handle her when she does act out.

    Other than that I think they all needed more sleep (sleep fixes all bad things in my house!!!) and I think the parents were AMAZINGLY brave for opening up their home like that. Kudos to them for seeking out help and letting the world see their problems. That's not an easy thing to do.

    Congrats to Charlie as well!!!

    Kelly(Houston)

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  8. I forgot all about it until I hopped on the treadmill and found it with only about 20 minutes to go. I was bummed b/c I guessed I'd missed seeing the triplet dad "intervention". I thought they did a great job! Wow, what a change there was in that family!! I'm sure there are moments here when our family is Supernanny wothy, but for the most part things are under control. Thank goodness!!

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  9. Yes! We saw it last night!

    Great job Charlie!

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  10. Your husband did a great job! I have no idea what advice I would offer that family. I watched the episode & they were a mess before Supernanny came. I have a question, did they actually come to your more the merrier dinner?

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  11. I saw it! I wish they would have showed more of the guys discussion though.

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  12. Holy Moly....that 5 year old's mouth!
    The Mann's are brave to be on the show, hopefully they have had enough of an intervention for the new methods of disciplining to "stick". If not, God help them when those children become teens!
    The 5 year old definitely was pushing alot of emotional buttons. In Kindergarten my daughter started twisting around her not getting her way into an emotional "you don't love me, you must give me a hug right now" temper tantrum. It was SO different compared to my boys' anger/tantrums. At first it threw me for a loop. I fell for it. But after a time or two, when her behavior didn't improve by me being loving and understanding over her emotional needs. I stopped thinking about it from an emotional level. She was just working me over. Part of it too, I think, is that kids have all these emotions and they don't know how to identify how they are feeling. Now when she gets in trouble. I identify what she is feeling, "You are angry because you didn't get your way. Now go to your room so that you can calm down. You can come out when you are ready to listen"
    I'm not hardcore uptight over discipline, but I'm more conservative than most. I do think spanking is in order at times. Its embarrassing how ineffective the Mann's spankings were. Clearly they didn't "get it".
    Ineffective parenting in all discipline styles is still ineffective.
    Pretty cool seeing Charlie on TV....: )

    p.s. while I was watching I thought about your post about the "perfect" family that was always so well-behaved...I have a hard time imagining that your family behaves like the Mann's!

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  13. Hubby and I watched it last night, and I have to say that I thought your Charlie was very well spoken and gave good, sound advice.

    I felt so sad for the mother and older daughter's relationship. I've never had that calliber of dicipline problem (so far) and I hope I never do. I remember once when Nadia was about 2 1/2 and she repeated something from television about how she and I weren't friends anymore and I cried for like 4 hours. I could not imagine going through the arguments that the mother and daughter did every day.

    I hope that the tools SuperNanny put in place help to heal that problem. Sincerely.

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  14. I thought your husband and his friends really helped that man, as a father, and as a husband! You should be so very proud! Way to go, Charlie :)

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  15. I just watched it on Hulu- (not the whole episode, but the part with your husband). Very nice!!! It seems like their chat really helped the husband, and hopefully they can find some support!!!

    xoxo,
    erika

    theurthmama.com

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  16. Melissa H.2/6/10, 6:51 PM

    I watched the show last night and recognized your husband from your blog pictures - I thought, no way, that can't be him, that would be far too coincidental. Turns out the world - or the country as it may be - isn't so big after all. Great show in my opinion, although I haven't seen many a super nanny episode I didn't enjoy.

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  17. To those who have asked:

    Yes! Mark and Melissa DID make it to The More The Merrier dinner on Tuesday night. Unfortunately, neither Charlie nor I were there - because I was out of town - but they definitely showed up and met some other triplet families. Over the past week, Mark and I have been in touch and we hope to get our families together, soon.

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  18. I watched it and was so excited to see Charlie on TV! I was so giddy and it really seems like he helped! Just letting that guy know there is a support group was awesome!

    I did my best not to judge the parents... after all, I just have 1 2 year old... not a 5 and 3 - 3 year olds... that has to be rough! But man, every time they brought out that spoon or swatted their butt, I cringed. It amazed me that they were still using that method when it was clearly failing. I was so glad to see SN instill some basic principles in that house! I was super happy to see that she taught them some of the rules and principles I use in our house ;~)

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  19. I think the fact that they are reaching out to other triplet families will be he catalyst to changing everything for them. It's too bad they didn't find your group sooner. Knowing you are in this crazy game with other people changes your whole perspective.

    I have to admit that I watched the whole first half an hour in complete horror. When the mother said the rest of the wooden spoons were broken, I truly wondered if they hadn't been broken on the children? It saddened me that they had reached out for help within their church group and got "hit the kids" as an answer.

    Then I wondered, why didn't she ever hire someone to help her? You don't get all "hit the kids with a wooden spoon until it breaks" crazy when you have someone else there with you. If she had had help, I don't think she would have gotten into the bad, unbreakable cycle with her older daughter because her daughter would have had more time with her. I know you never hired anyone, but you always had Charlie around for back-up. Imagine if he had been gone all day long, every single day and you had been alone with the kids all the time? I think about that and I thank God every day that He gave me the wisdom to get a mother's helper in and know my personal limits.

    Finally, I echo everyone else that sleep and diet are essential. Until a certain age, eighty percent of parenting is keeping them from getting tired and hungry. So the sleeping was paramount.

    My advice to them would be to get those kids in preschool, especially the five year old. Get them in some activities. Get them OUT of the house. Buy some life jackets and even though I didn't use them, get some harnesses. Get them on a better diet, and think about having a teenager over a few times a week to play with them for a sanity break. Join your local multiples club. Get involved with other mothers of multiples and keep those kids busy. Boredom fuels bad behavior.

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  20. I was so bummed that our signal was out because of a storm! I watched online just now, so exciting! I tried to show my husband and he's like, "Who?" So I explain (as I usually do when I mention this blog) "You know, the ones who took their four kids on that road trip?"
    I started reading during that trip and we thought you were so crazy (in an admirable way) that it stuck with us!
    I like Super Nanny, I think she has a real heart for the children in these families and does not tolerate hitting and yelling.

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  21. Oh, and I forgot to say that Charlie was great. He looks exactly like he does on your blog and sounded exactly has I pictured him. Too funny!

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  22. LOL...I saw your post right before it came on and made my hubby switch channels so I could see Supernanny. lololol. I totally felt like a stalker (I'm not!) when I saw him and was squealing to my hubby, "look! That's the hubby of the woman who writes Amazing Trips!" I agree with what some of the others said, too...I don't think I'd have the guts to let a TV show come into my home and critique my parenting. I'm not perfect, but I agree with one thing she said, the consistency is the key. In my opinion, it's not the kind of discipline you use, different things work for different kids, but none of them work if you're not consistent with it. Least that's what we've learned with ours. LOL. Anyways, totally impressed with Charlie being on the show. He did great!

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  23. Can't see it as I'm outside the US...but I'm sure it's good!

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  24. My advice is . . . .

    Spanking in the name of "god" was their very first mistake!

    But I think we all know how I feel about that!

    Yours -
    J

    PS I also think Derrick needed a haircut.

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  25. saw this on facebook and thought you might find it amusing.


    "You Might Be a Geologist if..."





    15. You have ever had to respond "yes" to the question, "What have you got in here, rocks?"

    14. You consider a "recent event" to be anything that has happened in the last hundred thousand years

    13. You have ever found yourself trying to explain to airport security that a rock hammer isn't really a weapon

    12. The baggage handlers at the airport know you by name and refuse to help with your luggage.

    11.You can pronounce the word "molybdenite" correctly on the first try.

    10.Your rock garden is located inside your house

    9.Your rock collection weighs more than you do.

    8.You own more pieces of quartz than underwear.

    7. You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you're parked on.

    6.You're planning on using a pick and shovel while you're on vacation.

    5. You find yourself compelled to examine individual rocks in driveway gravel.

    4. You think the primary function of road cuts is tourist attractions.

    3.You have ever taken a 12-passenger van/ mini vans over "roads" that were really intended only for cattle.

    2.You have ever been on a field trip that included scheduled stops at a Quarries and/or a liquor store.

    1.And the #1 sign you might be a geologist: You have ever uttered the phrase "have you tried licking it?" with no sexual connotation involved.


    Geology Fieldtrips... Sometimes so boring you'll resort to putting the hammer through your own head.

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  26. Those people were living a nightmare. I hope that things now go better for them. Thanks for sharing the link so we could see Charlie. Good luck to you.

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  27. Debra@HilariousGivers.Org2/7/10, 1:34 PM

    Hey, you LUCKY WOMAN, Yes we got to watch our local celebrity via the internet. This internet thing is a “mackerel” (miracle) I tell ya!

    Your Charlie is a Natural at what ever he does and he is real good at it too! Of course without you as his partner who knows how he would be today ;o)

    I think it’s wonderful that Charlie is so involved in raising the children and willing to go on national television where others could see him and benefit from him. Some men are just to “macho” and let their pride get in the way, so Kudos to you Charlie!

    One of your readers (lesliesenke) said, “I would also echo your comment (in the previous comments) that SLEEP and DIET are essential to good behavior. But good sleeping and eating habits come from disciplined families.” Those words are so true; however, I would further add that “CONSISTENCY” is a real big factor in raising children.

    On a side note my Dear, I wanted to Thank You and your family for your support yesterday with HG! Hope to see you all at the Big SB Party!

    Debra ((*.*))

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  28. Charlie did a great job! I certainly would be interested in how the family is faring. It was frightening to see the struggle between mother and oldest child.... I hope they are continuing reach out to the triplet community for guidance and support, although the young ones didn't seem to be the big problem!

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  29. I just watched the show (I had taped it Friday). That family sure had their challenges, I'm glad Jo encouraged them to stop paddling -- I so do not agree with THAT strategy.

    Most importantly -- Charlie was awesome! He definitely had the most "screen time" of the three, and he sounded very articulate and cool. I loved what the guy said afterwards, about how nice it was to meet with dad's who enjoyed being dad's (clearly I'm paraphrasing, LOL). That was a nice compliment, wasn't it?

    You'll have to get Charlie to give us the scoop on what they cut/if there were any other parts to that talk that would be interesting -- also, how cool was Jo in real life? I love that woman, I want her to be my best friend.

    Great job to Charlie! That was hella-cool seeing him on there, he did great! (Oh, did the Mann's ever come to your More the Merrier meetings? Have you met them, Jen?)

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  30. Oh, sorry, didn't read the comments before I wrote mine -- I see you responded about my "More the Merrier"/do you know them question. You'll have to let us know, if you can, how they're doing after some time has passed, if you guys get to know them a bit. (Do they read this Blog? LOL).

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