have a little faith

My sister, Eileen, sent me the book "have a little faith" for Christmas.

She sent me this book because she reads my blog (Hi Eileen!) and she knows from reading things that I've written here, over the past few years, I've been really struggling with my faith. Although I try to believe God's fingerprints are on everything, my life doesn't really mirror that philosophy of "Let Go and Let God."

I'm confused.

Remind me again - what exactly it is that I believe? What exactly it is that I am doing with my life? Why it is that I can't make a decision? Why it is that I can't just feel settled already? Why it is that I must always feel like I'm fighting against the tide?

I started reading the book a few weeks ago and every night, I read another chapter before I fall asleep. Although it's been a while since I've read any books to completion, I can easily say that THIS is probably the best book I have read in a long, long time. While I attend church - almost every week - this book has opened my eyes in ways church has not. I feel more calm and at peace because of this book. In essence, this book has been salve for my colicky soul. It is so captivating that I could very easily read the whole thing in an afternoon. But I haven't and for that, I'm glad.

Because I've been taking my time to get through it each day, I reflect on what I read the night before and I have an opportunity to mentally digest the story before picking the book up again, sometimes re-reading something, just to make sure the point sticks.

The book is written by Mitch Albom, who was made famous by his novel, "Tuesdays with Morrie." In the book, "have a little faith" Albom was asked by his childhood rabbi to deliver his eulogy. Albom agrees, on the condition that he get to know the rabbi as a man. And so an eight-year journey begins where Albom meets with his rabbi and the two discuss spirituality, faith and how those two things play in to the grand scheme of life.

There is one part of the book that has really resonated with me the past few days. As it turns out, I read this particular section on January 11, the night before the magnitude 7 earthquake that rocked Haiti. So that following day, as I was seeing the grisly images roll in from the Caribbean, all I could think about were Albom's words. He writes,

"The Reb (rabbi) was a believer from the start, that was clear, but I also knew that he was not crazy about some things God allowed on this earth. He had lost a daughter, many years ago. That had shaken his world. And he regularly cried after visiting once-robust members of the congregation who now lay helpless in hospital beds. "Why so much pain?" he would say, looking in to the heavens. "Take them already. What is the point?"

I once asked the Reb that most common of faith questions: why do bad things happen to good people? It had been answered countless times in countless ways; in books, in sermons on Web sites, in tear-filled hugs. The Lord wanted her with him ... He died doing what he loved ... She was a gift ... This is a test...

I remember a family friend whose son was struck with a terrible medical affliction. After that, at any religious ceremony - even a wedding - I would see the man out in the hallway, refusing to enter the service. "I just can't listen to it anymore," he would say. His faith had been lost.

When I asked the Reb, Why do bad things happen to good people?, he gave none of the standard answers. He quietly said, "No one knows." I admired that. But when I asked if that ever shook his belief in God, he was firm.

"I cannot waver," he said.

Well, you could, if you didn't believe in something all powerful.

"An atheist," he said.

Yes.

"And then I could explain why my prayers were not answered."

Right.

He studied me carefully. He drew in his breath.

"I had a doctor once who was an atheist. Did I ever tell you about him?"

No.

"This doctor, he liked to jab me and my beliefs. He used to schedule my appointments deliberately on Saturdays, so I would have to call the receptionist and explain why, because of my religion, that wouldn't work.

Nice guy, I said.

"Anyhow, one day, I read in the paper that his brother had died. So I made a condolence call."

After the way he treated you?

"In this job," the Reb said, "you don't retaliate."

I laughed.

"So I go to his house, and he sees me. I can tell he is upset. I tell him I am sorry for his loss. And he says, with an angry face, 'I envy you.' Why do you envy me?' I said. 'Because when you lose someone you love, you can curse God. You can yell. You can blame him. You can demand to know why. But I don't believe in God. I'm a doctor! And I couldn't help my brother!'

He was near tears. 'Who do I blame?' he kept asking me. 'There is no God. I can only blame myself.' "

The Reb's face tightened, as if in pain.

"That," he said softly "is a terrible self-indictment."

Worse than an unanswered prayer?

"Oh yes. It is far more comforting to think that God listened and said no, than to think that nobody's out there."

If there really IS a God, how does one explain the tragedy in Haiti?

Photo Credit: IFRC/Eric Quintero

Officials have estimated that some three million people - a third of the population - were affected by the 7.0-magnitude quake. And there are predictions that as many as 200,000 could die. In comparison, the magnitude 7.0 Loma Prieta earthquake that stuck California in 1989 killed 63 people.

Why did it happen there?

To the poorest country in the western hemisphere?

To a country where structures are slapped together with no regard to seismic standards?

To a country where the severely impoverished eat mud cakes, which are nothing more than cookies made of dirt, salt, and vegetable shortening because they don't have the resources for a proper meal?

Haven't the Haitians suffered enough?

Photo Credit: American Red Cross/Talia Frenkel

My homepage is Yahoo, so this week whenever I've logged on to the internet, I see the images and news stories rolling in from Haiti. With tears streaming down my face, I watched the video clip of the 11-year old girl who was rescued on Thursday and died a short time later. Her final words spoken?

"Mother, don't let me die."

Did the earthquake occur because 200 years ago Haitians made a pact with the devil?

Photo Credit: Matthew Marek/American Red Cross

Personally, I don't think so.

In fact, I really like what the hilariously brilliant Jon Stewart has to say (do you even READ this thing?!):

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you (Isaiah 54:10).

I typically do not go to church twice in the same weekend, but this weekend I did because I heard the Ugandan Orphan Choir would be performing at a nearby church and I really wanted for our children to see these incredible kids. At the second service, the pastor spoke of a blind man.

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." (John 9:1-3)

There is absolutely NO WAY to fathom the destruction and devastation that has occurred in Haiti. I don't think that the people that are there - on the ground - can get their minds around it.

From a scientific standpoint, I completely understand why the earthquake happened. From a spiritual standpoint, I can only believe that this is an opportunity for the work of God to be displayed in our lives. Provided of course, you believe God exists. Which to me, I'd much prefer to believe that than the alternative.

Just about everyone is on a budget. Just about everyone is feeling the strain. But I believe that just about everyone can do something to help. As Mother Theresa said, "If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."

Photo Credit Talia Frenkel / American Red Cross

There are a lot of excellent charities out there and I hope everyone will find one that they can support, as their budget allows. After some considerable research, Charlie and I made our donation to the Red Cross because 91% of the donation goes to humanitarian relief and they have considerable outreach.

Ah well ... the first week of sticking to a strict budget just went due south.

But, I'm hopeful we'll quickly recover.

Photo Credit Talia Frenkel / American Red Cross

It is our most fervent prayer, the people of Haiti will, too.