if only I'd had a crystal ball...

For those who remember, about two years ago at this time, I was lamenting that one of my children was failing school. The thought had crossed my mind at least a dozen times that she might not be promoted to the next grade. She might not graduate.  The potential of her attending college was looking more and more slim. From my extremely limited and fear-rooted perspective, her whole future was unraveling before my very eyes. 

But then, we went away on vacation - never went back - I resigned from my career, had a nervous breakdown (that some days I think is still going on?), sold a house, bought a house, enrolled the kids in a new school, and suddenly found ourselves residents of Vermont.   

Within the first week of attending her new school, Carolyn said she was going to turn a new leaf, and wow - DID SHE EVER.   She ran for and won a position on Student Council, which she maintained until she graduated.  She immersed herself in choir, theater, and alpine skiing.  She joined the track and field team, and won second place in the state for shot put.  She did equally well in discus. 

She helped found a second girls-BSA Scout troop, and became the second female Eagle Scout in the State of Vermont.  She easily could have been first, but I'm certain she delayed just to annoy me. 

"It's not a rush, MOM." 

Throughout her 11th and 12th grade years, she maintained nearly straight A's and her GPA skyrocketed.  When she graduated this past June, to everyone's surprise, we learned during commencement that she had received an academic scholarship. The announcement made me want to cry, and also, stand up and scream while punching my fists in the air, "YES! YOU DID THIS!!" 

While Elizabeth's high school experience had been a little smoother on the academic front than Carolyn's, it is important to remember the struggles that she, too, has overcome.  Speech impediment and therapy through fourth grade, diagnosis for dyslexia in second grade that led to extensive classroom support through middle school.  The intensity of the support would have continued through high school, if Elizabeth hadn't wanted to shake her special ed teachers like a bad habit, and also, COVID hadn't hit.  

During her final IEP meeting with her teachers this past spring, her AP English teacher said that she has never, and I repeat never, met a student that perseveres like Elizabeth.  

She explained to me, "We read 'The Illiad' in class this year.  Elizabeth was having a difficult time with the version that was assigned, so she asked if she could go to the library and see if there was a different version that she could read.  Of course I agreed.  So Elizabeth checked out and read one, and then another version. Then she read a third version.  Then, she went back and read the version that I had assigned the class, because she wanted to be able to read what everyone else was reading."  

The teacher's jaw dropped open and she shook her head.  "I've never met a student, in my 30 years of teaching, that read not one - not two - not three - but FOUR versions of The Illiad.  It is NOT an easy piece to read without dyslexia!  Not only has she earned an A+ AP English, I'd wager she has the best grasp of the story from anyone in the class!"  

Today, both Carolyn and Elizabeth started their freshman year at the University of Vermont.  These were the pictures they sent me earlier this morning.  

It takes me only ten minutes (seven if the lights are all green ... my previous estimate was off by two!) to drive from our house to their dorms. As happy as that makes me, it makes me happier yet that they are THRIVING. 

Carolyn is on the rowing team. Elizabeth is running cross-country. They are both living on campus, in separate dorms, and are having the time of their lives. 

Although I helped them move in last week, yesterday, I zipped over to campus for a couple hours and took a car full of their new college buddies to Trader Joe's so they could stock up on snacks.  As we were driving around, I had to pinch myself at how fortunate we are to be HERE.   We've already started discussing some of the out-of-state students that might come home with them for Thanksgiving.... I'm expecting we may actually have 10 in the house.  

So, it's probably a good thing William is in Europe. We're going to need his room! 

the chain

It is July of 2017.  Our family of six had just landed in Denver, rented a big red GMC Yukon, and are making our way west from Colorado in to Utah.  Because we'd been up at 3:30 AM to catch our 6:00 flight out of Houston, the kids were exhausted and fell asleep in the car for the first part of the drive. 

When they wake up, we turn on the stereo - synch it with our phone - and play music. My memory of this exact moment is so crystal clear, a time in my life I will never forget.  I'd switched seats with William so he could sit in the front next to his Dad who was driving.  I'm in the backseat, wedged in with Henry, Carolyn, Elizabeth, and all the camping gear we'd need over the next four weeks as we traveled across the US and Canadian Rockies.  

Fleetwood Mac's "The Chain" comes on.  

Charlie and I love Fleetwood Mac, base case. It was especially awesome that the kids loved them that summer of 2017 because their song was on the soundtrack for their favorite movie, Guardians of the Galaxy II, that had come out two months earlier. 

We turned the volume up as loud as it would go. The speakers were pounding.  The windows were all the way down. The hot air was blowing in to the car, and cooling us off, and sending the hair atop our crazy excited heads, in a million directions. We were singing in unison as loud as we could, "CHAIN KEEP US TOGETHER ... running in the shadows... CHAIN KEEP US TOGETHER ... running in the shadows." 

As I was just cleaning the kitchen, that song came on the radio and I was instantly transported back to that time - that incredibly awesome moment which has been seared in to my memory; the first day of an epic camping vacation that took us over nearly 3,000-miles of gorgeous terrain in four weeks.  That trip that spurred us to take our colossal 10,000-mile road trip in 2020, and subsequent 4,000+ mile road trip in 2021, that would have rivaled the 2020 trip in distance - if we'd ever actually made it back to Texas.  

That song. 

That memory. 

Those feelings. 

(UPDATE: I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS BLOG!! HERE ARE PHOTOS FROM THAT DRIVE!!!)

That series of events which undeniably sowed the seeds of travel and adventure, in to our 12- and 10-year old children's hearts and souls.   

Two weeks ago, we dropped an 18-year old William off at the airport for what will be an 11-month exchange program to Germany.  We were initially told that because this is an intensive US Department of State fellowship, we should not expect to visit him during his exchange. The goal is that at the conclusion of the program, he will be 100% fluent in German and fully immersed in the German culture; any visits might set him back with language, and homesickness.  I've since heard that maybe (maybe) we might be able to go visit in the new year.  My fingers are tightly crossed. 

William has yet to call me, although we have texted.  Thankfully, I can follow photos of his adventures on Instagram. This weekend he went camping and canoeing.  I hope he cheers up, he looks quite sad.  

Because of Google Translate, I can communicate important information with him in German. Like, how to make pancakes to enjoy with the 1-gallon of Vermont maple syrup he toted across the Atlantic for his host family, the Berenstains.  Yep, just like the bears.  I told him he'll need to do the conversion to metric since he left his measuring cups at home. 

Until yesterday, our girls were gone to two separate summer camps: Elizabeth at a Scout camp as a counselor; Carolyn at a traditional camp where she was a rowing instructor for nine weeks.  The girls are now home for a few days, before Elizabeth moves to the University of Vermont on Saturday, where she'll be joining the D1 Cross-County team for their first practice on Sunday.  Carolyn will move to the other side of campus at the University of Vermont next Wednesday.  

Elizabeth wants to pursue environmental sustainability, and maybe architecture. When she graduates, she wants to take a year and travel around the country visiting all the National Parks we missed. (There aren't very many.)  Carolyn wants to pursue education. Her plan includes traveling internationally and teaching. Charlie reminds me that they are like kites in the wind right now, all of this could change.  Our job is to smile and nod and give encouragement. And hugs, lots and lots of hugs. 

Their roommates, who they have yet to meet in person, are named Anna and Hannah. Their dorms colors are greens and blues; maroons and grays.  We went shopping earlier, today.  

Here's a fun memory from our first mother-daughter "only" shopping excursion. Those harnesses sure would have been handy, today, to reel them in for more hugs. Or because no, even though we're just down the road and transport isn't difficult, the 8-foot ficus might be too big for your dorm. 

The kids are ready to leave the nest - they are itching to spread their wings and fly. 

Charlie and I are very excited for them to go, but after the completely unexpected maternal guttural sobs that I endured at the airport when bidding auf weidersehen to William ... I am extremely grateful that the girls will only be eight minutes away.  Five if all the lights are green.  

Henry will very soon be the focus of our undivided attention, and once again, I am so grateful that we opted to start him a year later in school.  I'm also grateful that he has Ollie - and Ollie has him.  

They play and tumble around together like a bunch of lion cubs. 

This is a huge season of transition.  This is a huge season of reflection. 

Chain, keep us together.  

It is impossible to believe that trip was six years ago.  

It could have been six seconds.