Today our amazing trips turn 15 years old. The girls were up and out before sunrise at running and crew practice; William's swim team has an "off day" so woke up to the delight of a new book series from his favorite author. In the still of this holiday, no school Monday, I'm savoring this increasingly rare moment of quiet. In just a few hours, we'll be taking the kids - and 15 of their closest friends - to a surprise outing; but in this space I'm taking the time to reflect and give thanks.
When I look back on this crossroads post now, I remember the gut-wrenching angst that I had about missing that particular meeting; because in my heart I knew that it was just the beginning of things to come. While I knew that I wouldn't be fired, the decision reflected a monumental shift in my mindset that would impact countless other career decisions going forward. It also reflected a shift in the way that my company viewed me as an employee ... but as a mother first.
Before children - my priority was do whatever I needed to do to do my job well, and reflected my steadfast commitment to my career. After children - it was crystal clear that my priority is to do whatever I need to do to do my job well ... so long as it does not infringe on my ability to mother my children. And, NEVER MISS THEIR BIRTHDAY.
Fifteen years in to parenting, I'm still trying to figure out the right balance. At this rate, I may never get it perfectly dialed in. Even now, there are days I feel overwhelmed trying to keep it together - and want nothing more than to sell everything, get completely off the grid, and relish every moment with our children while they're still under one roof. As if that tactic would in some way work to slow down time? Perhaps it would. The kids, however, now that they have a social life - and athletic and academic school commitments - aren't too keen on the notion.
Short of running away and living a "Captain Fantastic" life, I'm so proud of the way Charlie and I have managed to contort our careers around our priorities (aka: the kids). As challenging as it has been to stand my ground and take my fair share of knocks over the past decade (both at home and at work!), in recent times, my company's Human Resources Department has directly solicited my personal opinion as a "subject matter expert" on strides they can take to improve our corporation's benefits policy and work-life balance offerings. Me?! They want MY advice!!
One piece of advice that I've offered is that it's not enough to advertise "support" of a healthy work-life balance, but to actually "show" that personnel from all level of the organization are utilizing the benefit. Management needs to lead the way, and so it is, videos of Vice Presidents coaching their children's soccer teams, on a random weekday, have made an appearance on our HR page along with a tagline of "Flex Your Time." Several colleagues have also reached out for my support in helping them navigate the options for working part-time; which I've done at various points over the past decade. Now a days, it's a lot more respected - and celebrated - than it was back then. In retrospect, I can see that the reason the road to get to this point has been so rough, is because 10 years ago - I made the decision to get off the beaten path and start blazing my own trail.
Today, I'm "Flexing My Time" so that I can celebrate the FIFTEENTH trip around the sun with these amazing ones who have not only given me the immeasurable privilege of motherhood - but have also - empowered me to be an outspoken advocate of keeping your priorities straight. I'm also spending a day in gratitude for my husband who is the ying to my yang (cracking up that YING keeps autocorrecting to KING, Charlie would love that!), and for my education - and experiences - that have led to an incredible career doing what I love, so that I'm able to support the people that I love.
Wow! Fifteen years old?!
#NoRegrets
