"We have had several spills with Henry's yogurt (the organic tube variety) in the cafeteria this year. He seems to squeeze hard and ends up covered in yogurt. Would you please discuss how he can eat this more carefully. If it would be better, he can bring a carton of yogurt and we'll help him open it. Thank you!"When I arrived home from work, Charlie - who was feeling unusually hypersensitive today - was really upset about this note. He thought the Lunch Lady was trying to tell us that our son has some kind of developmental delay and can't eat properly. Which, yes, I'd agree to some extent because yogurt from a tube is definitely more challenging to eat than yogurt from a carton although I'm sure with TIME and PATIENCE Henry will master the art of yogurt eating from a tube. Along with, you know, solving differential equations and balancing a checkbook.
Charlie continued, "Jen, I'm really worried about this. I mean, when I was a kid, I never remember having a problem eating yogurt from a tube..." To which I replied, "Charlie, my Love. Lighten up. I don't think they even had tube yogurt, back in 1972, when you were in Kindergarten. And for that matter, when have you ever eaten yogurt from a tube? I think it's only been marketed within the past 20 years; and not once during our marital history have I ever seen you eat yogurt that way. Refresh my memory, please..."
My husband considered this for a while, before he fired back, "Okay fine. I won't worry about our child's inability to eat yogurt from a tube, if you won't worry about all the crazy things you worry about." Yeah well ... no guarantees there.
(I'm just thankful that for the most part, we balance each other out.)