Thursday, August 23, 2012

the man needs a break

This is a real, unedited e-mail that Charlie sent to me at work today. 

Dear Jen,

I need a date with you.  For the love of God, I need a date.  I need something other then a *&%^#@$ pizza for dinner, and I need to have some $%#&@ quiet time with you.  What this means is that I need for you to come home.  This is how it's going to go down:
  • Pencils down.  That means stop what you are doing.
  • You get in the big green truck and drive home.
  • I am going to order a pizza for the kids, they do not want a home made pizza.  They are demanding Dominoes!
  • They will watch a movie of their choice downstairs.
  • You and I will eat something besides pizza, i.e., chinese food.  Something with flavor and texture.
  • I will open a good bottle of wine, and we will enjoy a glass of the wine.
  • We will talk like human adults, and discuss our escape from children.
  • The children will go to bed.

See you soon.

Signed, The Desperate Domestic Father of your Messy Little Creatures,