Well, I guess this bug I picked up last week has decided it isn't quite finished with me yet. Today, for the first time in the 6-months that I've been back to work, I called my boss and told him that I was questioning my decision to return to work at all. I think he was surprised by my tone. This is not like me. I really love my job. But, I'm also not thinking rationally. I know that in my current 'state' I shouldn't make any rash decisions.
My fever came back while I was at the office, with vengeance. A sore throat rivaling the pain I had when my tonsils were removed at the age of 10, hit me this afternoon. Cough drops, numbing sprays and ibuprofen have done nothing to dull the agony that comes with a simple act like swallowing. To top it off, my teeth felt like they were going to pop out of my mouth from the sinus pressure. I kept trying to "clear my ears" like I do when I'm descending in a plane and all I could hear was this awful popping without any relief. I was at the brink of despair. The pile of work I had set out to accomplish while "at the office" just stared at me while I sat there feeling miserable. As if my pink eye wasn't bad enough, now I'm certain I've got strep and a sinus infection to boot. Another doctor visit tomorrow will hopefully give me some answers. (The good news in all this is that I remain the only sick person in our house. But I can't help but think am I the only one on the planet that is having such a tough time with bugs this year?! My immune system is obviously toast!)
I called Charlie in tears. I was so distraught over this sickly being I have morphed in to. It's like sick is just part of who I am and I can't get over it no matter how hard I try. Vitamins - nothing. Well balanced diet - nothing. Lots of fluids - nothing. Sick is in my core. For what seems like the better part of this year, I've been sick. I'm really sick of complaining about being sick ... and I want nothing more than to shake these bugs, get back to some normalcy ... and enjoy SPRING.
I haven't been able to go to the gym because 5 minutes on the ellipse machine would put me in a coma. In reality, I probably don't need the gym. I do squats bending down and picking up babies all day and it dawned on me yesterday that I have my own track and field right here at home. I've become so efficient at jumping over the numerous baby gates we have set up around the house (sometimes with babies in both arms - on my way to rescue a third one about to do something horrific), that I could easily land a spot on the 2008 Olympic hurdling team. My form is impeccable. I am a sprinter, too. I never would have guessed that I could move so fast ... but when the babies maneuvered their way around our baby latches and got a hold of our glass recycling - I traveled from the dining room to the playroom (whilst clearing 3 baby gates en route) at warp speed.
After blubbering on about how dirty rotten awful I felt and how I'd never be well again, Charlie told me to come home. Ok then. I started to log off my laptop computer when all of a sudden - I got the ominous "blue screen" and an error message popped up ... something about a file being corrupted and the system is aborting. Oh, oh. I called our computer help desk and they told me that I had what they like to call "Instant Computer Death" of "ICD". Great. Now, I felt violently nauseous, too. They said that I shouldn't fret because they could send me a loaner computer while mine is repaired, if it is repairable at all.
They gave me a ticket number and said my best bet at repairing this suddenly worthless piece of plastic that may or may not still contain everything of any importance pertaining to my job, was to drive to Los Angeles, and see if they could fix it at the most local computer support center my company has to offer. Instead, I came home. I wasn't up for a 3-hour car ride. One way. In traffic. In the rain.
I walked in to the house and was greeted by three babies and their dad - playing a gleeful game of chase around the center island in the kitchen. They were having a wonderful time and looked so happy. It brightened my spirits immensely to see them, but Charlie took one look at me and waved me off to go take a hot bath. Surely that will make me feel better. At 5:45 PM I climbed in to the tub ... I climbed back out at 9:30 PM... almost 4 hours later. For the first time ... ever (?) ... I missed putting the kids to bed, while I was home. After my marathon soak session ... I don't really feel much better but I do feel squeaky clean. In a prune kind of way.
When I got out of the tub, I pulled my laptop out of my brief case and thought I'd try one more time to log on. The God's of Good Fortune must have decided I was in serious need of a break ... because within seconds, my desktop popped up and my computer was fully functional, again. (This is the image that greeted me on my desktop ... I just love this photo ... three babies and two swings. What's a mom to do?)
I called the computer help desk to let them know what happened - my computer had healed itself - and my repair ticket could be closed. They told me it was a miracle.
Now, maybe some of that miraculous healing will rub off on me, too.