Tuesday, June 10, 2008

a little known fact about me

When I've got a baby that needs to be changed - and kids that are running around creating havoc - I do not want to answer a telephone that is ringing off the hook.

More often than not, I let it go to voice mail because I find NO joy from talking on the phone when the kids are awake because they know that I'm distracted and their energy level increases one-hundred-fold. And when the kids are asleep, I don't like talking on the phone because I don't want to hear anything except the sound of quiet filling my ears.

If you want to get in touch with me, send me an e-mail. I promise I'll respond.


My mother dislikes talking on the phone so much that when I lived at home, she'd have me go ring the doorbell, just so she could tell the caller that OH! someone was at the door and she had to run.

Mom had a lot of good tricks.

Another one was telling us kids when we were little that the ice cream truck that we heard in our neighborhood was actually the man that took the bad children away and whenever we heard that familiar music we were to RUN and HIDE. And that's how Mom got out of spending money on seven kids for ice cream from a truck.

Almost as much as I dislike talking on the phone, I abhor answering the door when I don't know who is ringing the bell. Chances are, it's a solicitor and I can't stand being solicited. We live in a very residential area and people are always going door to door trying to peddle their goods. "My pest service is fine. I don't want to buy magazines or chocolate from your school. I would never buy beef from someplace other than a store or a farm. And I already have a Bible. Thankyouverymuchgoodbye."

"No really goodbye I'm closing the door now whether you leave or not. Once I grab my baby that is trying to crawl past you..."

If it's not a solicitor ringing the door, then why can't people call first to tell me they are coming over? Maybe because they know I won't answer the phone??

Charlie thinks I'm a hermit.

But a hermit would never want to leave the house and I love to go out.

I love to socialize.

Just not over the phone. Or with an unannounced visitor.

My husband answers the phone and the door. And that's fine when he's home because HE can deal with telemarketers and solicitors. But when he's not here, I usually ignore the calls and the knocks on our door. And that would be fine but our children are not as willing to ignore the outside world pounding to get in. They have learned to grab the phone and push TALK and they also love running to the front door and pulling back the blinds to see who is standing on our front step.

This has obviously put a major kink in my desire to be left alone.

Last night, at that crazy time that exists every night just before dinner when the kids are totally riled up and the baby is at the peak of fussiness, the doorbell rang.

I knew it was a solicitor. I just knew it. They always show up around supper time.

When the kids heard the doorbell, they ran to the front door and pulled the shades up and started to yell "HI!! HI!!"

Then, they yelled to me "Mommy! Somebody at da dooh!!"

And because I'm so stealth, I whispered to them, "Shhh!! We're not home!!"

They stood back and looked confused for a moment before responding "But mommy, we AWE home!!"

And I replied "Shhhh!! NO!! We're NOT home!!"

The kids were totally perplexed and asked "Den, where awe we??"

Because I didn't want to unnecessarily confuse our children and figured that maybe I'd teach them the intricacies of STAYING QUIET when people weren't standing outside on our step at that very moment and can probably hear everything that we are saying, I begrudgingly decided to answer the door. And there stood a delivery man, holding the pizza I had completely forgotten I had ordered.

45 minutes earlier.


  1. Man. You should thank your lucky stars you aren't a triplet mom in MY city. I'd drive you nuts.

    Ring. Ring. Ring.

    Is it Michele AGAIN??

    I LOVE to talk on the phone.

    What's your number? :)

  2. BAHAHAHAHA! (dude, William looks just like Charlie in that pic.)

  3. Sorry Jen, I accidentally posted this comment on the wrong entry!

    Here it is again:

    Three things:

    1) I love your blog. You always make me laugh, nod in agreement, or cry right along with you.

    2) I love the way you quote your kids. I could totally hear their little voices asking "Den where awe we?" Too cute.

    3) I am totally the same way. TOTALLY. Hate to answer the phone. Hate to answer the door. I didn't use to be like this..I swear the children brought it out in me! I am just so over-noised with them!


  4. This post made me laugh and laugh. I am just the same with solicitors at the door except when I order pizza!

    Thanks for making my day with the story of your life!

  5. That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!


  6. I have one suggestion for the solicitors that come to your door. A couple of years ago, I put up a sign that says:

    Religious Crusaders

    And you know what? It works like a charm!


    We open the door for everyone. We have a lot of neighbors that love the kids and like to stop by and visit or give them things. It's kind of crazy, but they love the attention. I've tried to reconcile myself to the fact that people will see toys and blankets all over the floor at some point. And if they really are good friends, they'll understand.

  8. I can't believe it-I said the exact same words about "why can't people call first?" not longer than one hour ago as I was talking to my husband on the phone while the doorbell rang, which makes our dogs bark like crazy. It's been something that gets under my skin ever since our twins arrived 2 1/2 years ago. The doorbell often meant the end of the one break I might get during the day. I have a "no soliciting sign" up but several people have said things like "but you don't mean me, do you" and things like that. I've actually typed up a sheet that defines soliciting for people who think you have to be selling something (vs. advertising). I just don't get why people think I would want to buy something or listen to their story when they openly disrespect my wishes. You really struck a cord w/ me...pizza guys only!-Karen

  9. What a great picture of William talking on the phone. He is so handsome. I think the sign--No solicitors as suggested by Patti is a is a great idea. And now, you have given away almost all my secrets. I still do not like to talk on the phone. Fun days!

  10. I tell my kids that the ice cream truck is the "music truck". So far, not a dime has been shelled out to sketchy-looking vans cruising our neighborhood.

    Unfortunately, now my kids run and grab their harmonicas when they hear the music truck's crackly, tinny speakers blaring...and I'm serenaded with one of the most frightening cacophonies on earth.

  11. You are so funny! I DO remember your mother telling us that tale about the ice cream truck!! In the big bad city where I grew up, we didn't have trucks driving by that played cutesy music while ringing chimes...ours were Paddy wagons & fire engines playing a much different tune. I was fascinated to think that the guy would lore kids to his truck with the sound of sweet melodies. Being the city kid, I sat under that big tree in your front yard and watched. That son of gun wasn't taking naughty kids away. He was giving them fudgesicles! I couldn't believe it! I jumped off the wall, knocked some pint-sized boy over. He ran down Walnut St. balling his eyes out. LEFT his ice cream on the sidewalk... Yup!...scraped off a couple of pebbles...it was delicious!...Best ice cream I ever ate.

  12. hahaha! hope the pizza was good. i am so with you on the phone thing..i hate it. and also the solicitors (phone or door) i can't stand!

  13. Hilarious! I too hate answering the phone. I don't mind talking on it - but only when I call someone. I do mind answering it for all the reasons you explained. When I am calling someone, it is because I actually can talk! Otherwise . . . I am basically not available. I understand during the teen years children no longer want to speak to us . . . maybe then we will reconnect with the phone!


  14. One of many cuzzins6/11/08, 7:00 AM

    I just noticed my comment came up as anonymous...but you probably figured out who it was!!....R

  15. HAHAHAAHA - great post

    I was never a phone person in high school and all my friends couldn't figure it out. What do we have to talk about? I just saw you in school? I don't understand why everyone needs to talk on their cell phones 24/7 either.

  16. I am cracking up over here!!!!!The pizza man was probably like WTH?
    Totally with you on the phone.


    I am sooooo the same way about the phone. Not too many knocks on the door around here, but I totally get where you're coming from.

    This post is hilarious. They fry your brain cells and make a hermit out of the best of us, those little cherubic offspring. They really do. :)

  18. This post is perfect timing. Just yesterday morning, I had a sales guy come to the door. He weasled his way in and the next thing I know I spent $80 on 7 childrens books. My hubby was pissed and I felt horrible that I got suckered in the wa I did. Next time someone is at the door I am going to ignore it if I can keep the kids away. Yesterday, when the guy came, KJ had the door open before I could get to it. YIKES! I am the biggest sucker. I think I learned my lesson yesterday.

  19. I can't stand the phone and the door. Its never a good time to talk on the phone and I realize its because I don't like talking on the phone.
    And the door! I don't know why people think its OK to show up unannounced. Or, call and say "i'm right front of your house ad I'm coming!" NOT OK. Anything that makes me have to run and put on a bra is NOT OK. LOL.

  20. Too funny! I feel the same way. I do not like answering the phone and I hate, hate, hate answering the door. If I get a phone call from a solicitor (even though being on the Do Not Call list has lessened the calls quite a bit) or a solicitor at the door and I get stuck... using the girls works like a charm. What can a solicitor say when I tell them I need to go because I have hungry triplets to feed or three messy diapers to change? They are so stunned that it seems to work like a charm. I totally understand your position!

  21. LOL!

    I also hate to talk on the phone, anywhere anytime, any place. Only select people have my cell phone because who wants to be interrupted while they drive??

  22. We disabled our doorbell. And got an unlisted phone number with call display. And I taught our kids young that sometimes people will come to the door who we do not need to talk to (we can see our front door from six different windows, so that probably helps us screen our visitors more than some people can). So now I am comfortable with the amount of calls and visitors we get...but there are days (once a month, maybe :)) when I hide in the basement and don't want to talk to anyone. I kind of thought it was just me! TFS!

  23. HAHA!! That is great... I've totally forgotten about the pizza too. :)

  24. Wow, I could have written that post... I HATE talking on the phone, I HATE answering the door... and my children are very good at opening the window and talking to the 'stranger' at our front door (which we don't use!). It's so awful! I'm not a hermit either, but I can relate completely to your feelings while standing frozen and completely quiet when there is a knock or a ring at the door.

  25. I was just thinking of posting my dislike of talking on the phone today! My SIL called 2 times yesterday then emailed about the same exact thing. It drives my ILs crazy that I don't answer the phone. I just ducked some "religious" people that were walking our neighborhood too. I didn't want to hear it's the end of the world story . . . and if it is I'd rather spend my last moments with my kids than talking to a complete stranger about it!

  26. So cute, sad and true.

    We don't get many solicitors at the door, or those phone calls for that matter.

    I do hate, however, when my kids insist on answering the door or the phone when I am giving them a serious "NO" signal (usually because I am busy or we are eating and I plan on calling them back), but they answer it and say "Mom, it's for you". ARGGHHHH! And vthen I have to suddenly act all sweet and nice..when I am so annoyed.

    Oh, and the ice cream truck---I have heard a funny explanation to a child that the music plays ONLY WHEN THEY ARE OUT OUT OF ICE CREAM. Too funny.

  27. I thought it was only me! and I assumed it was because I was socially inept. How can you talk on the phone when there are books to be read, meals to be made, clothes to change, teeth to brush etc.?

    How about people who ring the doorbell repeatedly or keep knocking when you are up to you elbows in dirty diaper? Sorry, I used to be able to drop everything and get to the door in 3 seconds for you. Not any more. Go away!