Thursday, April 05, 2007


Not only has my stomach popped - my head feels like it's about to, also. We're crazy busy on the work front ...we're crazy busy on the homefront.

All the while, the kids have been the stereotypical two-year olds ... absolutely adorable when they are sleeping, absolutely terrorizing when they are awake.

There is NO exception to that rule.

Not even when they are eating. Because it appears that there is nothing more fun than flinging macaroni and cheese across the table, or spitting chewed up strawberries all over the beautiful grout that we just had professionally cleaned.

It's not easy to sweep up macaroni and cheese or remove strawberry juice from light-colored grout. It's even more difficult to do this while biting your tongue so you don't start cursing in front of two-year old triplets that try to repeat everything you say.

"Oogle Floogle KABLOOGLE!!!!" has become my new catch phrase which I shriek at least 10,000 times a day. Maybe more.

When Charlie is not up and out of the house before the crack of dawn for an important meeting, I've been up and out of the house before the crack of dawn for an important meeting. Which means for the past week, the person remaining at home has not had the luxury of an extra set of hands to help out with breakfast.

This makes all the difference in the world.

You see, as soon as the kids wake up ... and climb out of their cribs, remove their own pajamas and diapers ... open the refrigerator and start taking out all of the salad dressing that was neatly organized in the door - we need to be ready for them. We need to be showered, dressed, and fully energized.

But because the kids are getting extremely stealth, and are escaping from their cribs before our eyes are even open, this has become a formidable task.

Formidable like ... pushing a car that has run out of gas up a hill, with one arm tied behind your back, in your pajamas, while a ferocious dog is trying to bite off your family jewels knee caps. And you have to pee.

Earlier this week, Charlie got up to go swimming before I left for work. Once I heard him leave, I decided that I should probably hoist myself out of bed and take a quick shower before the kids woke up.

It was only after I was in the shower, with shampoo in my hair and one leg shaved, that I became aware I wasn't the only one awake in the house. While I quickly tried to wipe the bubbles from my eyes, and clear the shower door, I helplessly watched a toddler wander in to the water closet holding something shiny.

Seconds later, I heard the toilet flush.

Maybe it was the early morning hour or maybe it was my almost 7-month pregnant body that was completely covered in soap, but I wasn't moving too fast. Fortunately, I was able to move just fast enough to grab my keys before they disappeared down the commode and in to the sewer system.

I never did finish my shower.

Because once I retrieved my keys, I heard what suspiciously sounded like a 3-pound Costco bag of Basmati Rice being spilled all over our kitchen floor. It seems that while I was in the bathroom with one toddler, there were two more "busily at work" in another part of the house.

Yesterday, while I was at work, I received a call from Charlie.

He didn't sound too good.

Apparently, he ran out of coffee. He thought that he remembered having an extra bag of coffee in the pantry, but, alas - it was decaf that expired in September of 2005.

I don't drink coffee, so could not relate to his predicament.

When he called me back three hours later, I was informed that he couldn't make a run to the store because the kids were sleeping. When he told me that he had a raging headache and shaky limbs, I promised that I'd swing by the store on my way home and replenish his stash.

Since he hadn't had any coffee within the past 24-hours, he asked that I pick him up several bags of French Roast whole bean ... and, also requested that I swing by Starbuck's and pick him up a Grande, because this was an emergency. He was having major withdrawls and didn't possess the strength to grind beans and then brew a pot when I finally arrived home.

He needed coffee STAT.

When I arrived home at 6 PM, toting a shopping sack full of Starbucks, Charlie had bags beneath his eyes and was still wearing his pajama bottoms. Incredibly, after he'd had a mere sip of java - the color started to return to his cheeks and he came alive. I started to tease him that he needed to do a better job of organizing his day - when he pointed out that after two days, I still hadn't managed to shave my other leg.

Considering the current dimensions of my belly, there's an oogle floogle kabloogle chance I may not get around to completing that chore until August. But belly size aside - I'm so zonked that I'm either in bed - or asleep on the couch - every night by 8:30 PM.

After watching Charlie's miraculous recovery yesterday, I'm beginning to think that coffee might be the magic potion I've been looking for. All I need is a caffeine drip to my arm, a 2-foot handle affixed to my razor and cages to contain my children. And maybe, I could have a sane life, again.

Or at a minimum, I'll have the opportunity and energy to shave my legs.


  1. Oh, you poor thing. I have no advice, only sympathy. I almost have a migraine just reading that.

  2. Can you remember the days when a shower wasn't a luxury? Who knew all the things motherhood would alter forever?

    I'd put coca-cola in my IV.

  3. Duncan has a screen door that latches from the inside AND the outside.
    He is always contained while we are sleeping.
    More power to you for letting them roam.


    How do you do it? How do you write like that? How do you keep your sanity?

    Here's a great business idea for moms whose children are in morning kindergarten: Set up a business where you deliver coffee and other emergency items to parents stuck at home!

    Much Love, Susan

  5. I WANT that razor, seriously. Even though I'm not 7 months pregnant. With toddler triplets.

    Props again for another amazingly well-written blog entry. I don't know how you cope, darling, I really don't! Am I supposed to be encouraging? I wish I could be, but it's just one thing after another for you, isn't it? Awwww well, it will get easier as they get older. No one ever stayed 2 years old forever!

  6. I'm with Susan on that business idea. Might actually work. I ran out of energy about the time you said one or the other of you were up at oh-dark-thirty for meetings. I seriously admire your physical and emotional strength and I just have one little and one much older one.

  7. You're not ever tempted to put the kids into some kind of daycare/kindergarten or get a nanny for 1-2 mornings a week? This would give you both just a bit of a buffer as far as work is concerned and would be an absolute blessing for you Jenna once this baby arrives.
    I have a (just)3yr old, and an 18month old and am 8 months pregnant. Currently doing the whole "job share/looking after kids share" thing with my husband (pretty similar to you, but one kid less) and have just started the 3 yr old in 2 half days of kindergarten and it has been great! The 18month old has a dependable 2hr sleep in the day, giving whoever is at home a break on the days the 3yr old (who has given up her naps) is not there. Plus we still have our babysitter come in on two mornings. Pretty inexpensive really for the huge benefit it gives us.
    I feel so tired- I too am in bed by 8pm most nights. Just reading your blog makes me even more tired. It is fun, but it is true about kids being most adorable while asleep!
    Oh yes, we have door handles that are so high our 3 yr old can't reach them, so she actually has to knock on her door in the morning to be let out. No free roaming for her.

  8. ((((hugs)))) I can only imagine the exhaustion.

    AND I can totally empathize with Charlie's need for coffee.

  9. You are so funny! Shave your legs and shampoo before getting the Kids? Mrs. Dunnigan says she remembers me putting on a house dress and nurses shoes and just going all day. I do not remember a lot of what happened when you guys were little, but I do Know--I just jumped in my clothes and showered at night.
    We should have the coffee delivered in a big Keg so Charlie would never run out.
    I think the sitter idea is great? Have you thought about asking at church for someone to help you?
    I am so glad you are enjoying it all. It is a lot of fun and you will have great memories.

  10. Jen,

    Everytime I come to your blog and read it makes me (and Charlie) have such a sense of humor about you and are so calm about anything. It also makes me realize that I can handle 2, 2 year olds and a newborn coming soon!! Thank you so much for putting everything into perspective and making me realize what it's all about!! :)

    Finley and Jude
    25 months
    Baby Avah coming very, very soon!!

  11. Okay, you don't drink coffee? Because I thought all triplet moms drink coffee. This is like a rule. You are breaking a RULE!!!!

    I vote for locking their door. They can play with each other until YOU go get them and this will keep the toys and keys out of the toilet! Just remember that we still only have a 2 bathroom house, down from three. In addition to the Matchbox cars we finally figured out that the entire magnetic alphabet is down in the pipes too in a big giant clump. Keep them contained!!!!!

    Don't let poor Charlie run out of coffee either!!! Oh, and start drinking coffee too STAT!!!