When I visited Eileen this past summer, and I stayed in my niece's old bedroom, my eyes teared up a bit to see that all the windows on the school bus were filled with precious pictures - definitively punctuating the magnificently bittersweet transition from little girl to young woman. Diana, my sister's youngest, has now moved out of the house, is in her senior year of college (studying Geology, nonetheless!) and is doing great. So, too, is my sister, which makes me realize that one day in the not too distant future - an empty nest is a very real possibility.
I say very real "possibility" because I'm not entirely sure how things are going to shake out.
OK, I jest. I'm actually fairly confident our children are all going to do just fine. Even if right now when I close my eyes, not all of my little birdies are going to spread their wings and fly straight out of the nest when the time comes. There's definitely one that teeters on the edge before nose diving straight to the ground while I'm screaming, "PULL UP! OMG, PULL UP!"
I'm laughing as I'm writing this, because I love this child more than the world itself and she has the absolute funniest, easy going, wonderful personality you ever did meet. Very few things rattle my Carolyn Grace; and every day, she continues to teach me how to have grace. A lot of it.
While the predominant number of teenage girls fret over their hair - make-up - clothing - social media status - school ranking - none of these things faze my Gracie. She is comfortable in her own skin, and while a lot of girls who reach a height of 72 inches (6 feet) might feel embarrassed by towering over most boys their age - Carolyn recently picked out a pair of platform heels that put her at nearly 6'5 for a wedding we attended over the summer. She owns and is proud of every inch of herself .... and I adore - and greatly admire - her for it.
But I'm wondering if that year of homeschool has dulled some of her senses, because waking up early is NOT her priority. Every morning, she will sleep in until the last possible minute and then barrel down the stairs like a train that has gone straight off the tracks. Charlie and I are usually in the kitchen, happily sipping our hot morning beverages, while practicing our deep breathing as she runs around frantically looking for her one lost shoe. And her backpack. And her lunch box. And her French text book. And, hairbrush? Do you maybe want to brush your hair before you go out?
"NO MOM. I LOOK FABULOUS!" Are real words that my 9th grade daughter with unkempt hair will tell me before she goes to high school. Now, I'm not the most self-conscious person, but I distinctly remember worrying about my appearance when I was a freshman.
One day last week, Carolyn tried to convince me that the pajamas that she was trying to wear to school were not actually pajamas. Also last week, when Carolyn overslept - I told her that if she missed the school bus, I would NOT be taking her to school. I'm a stickler for consequences. Charlie and I will do every thing we can to equip our children for success - including helping them plan and prepare. But in the end, the buck stops with them and I do not want to enable bad habits. If they do not want to get things laid out the night before, or get up and get themselves ready in the morning so they can be out the door in time, they will be walking to school. It's really that simple.
So last week, I told Carolyn, "I'm not taking you to school if you miss the bus..... I'm not taking you to school if you the bus...." She finally barked at me, "I KNOW MOM. YOU'RE NOT TAKING ME TO SCHOOL IF I MISS THE BUS. GOT IT. I HEARD YOU!"
Which is why I cracked up when two minutes later, she ran outside and standing next to the car said, "I'm just going to wait in the car for you..."
That led to me collapsing in to a fit of laughter and saying, "I'm so sorry! What part of 'I'm not taking you to school' do you not understand?" At which point she yelled at me that it was DARK and I responded "So you better get up earlier tomorrow!" and then she gave me an exasperated sign before she took off sprinting like an Olympic athlete to the school bus and miracle of miracles she made it. William who was already on the bus, texted me that he'd never seen anything like it. "Mom, she might actually be faster than Elizabeth!"
All this to say, nothing preserves the memories better than photographs. And for as long as our children have been in school, I've never once purchased school photographs for the bus frame that I also never purchased.
I'm ashamed to admit it, because predating my own children's births, I've always wanted to buy that school bus frame and fill it with images of our precious children as they worked their way through primary school. But I've never done it because I would always forget to pre-order, and then when the proofs would come in, I would review the photos while thinking YES I'm so totally going to buy these! But then for one reason or another, I wouldn't purchase them right away (I could never decide on the package; I mean - how many photos do you really need?) and then I'd get pulled in to some life or work event - and I'd forget about ordering a proof and then you know what happened??
NINE YEARS WENT BY AND I NEVER ORDERED A SCHOOL PICTURE.
But this year, with our children in high school, I actually pre-ordered and paid for the photos. Like, I'm so totally ahead of the game, it's unfathomable and very unlike me. This past week, we just got our photos back and I'd like to share them with you.
Here is William. We told the kids that we would pay them $25 for every A on their report card, and William came home a couple weeks ago, and after handing me his report card, said, "That'll be $175 please." Seven A's, straight across the board. He's the kid that never studies and just GETS it. Whether it's German or Biology or Debate or Geometry. He's wicked pissah smaht.
Here is Elizabeth. She is so meticulous in every thing that she does and is absolutely blowing our mind with her commitment to running and school. Last week she independently traveled with her high school team to participate in the Regional cross-country races in Dallas; and has made it to an elite varsity team that will be running next month in Austin.
And here is Carolyn, who is spectacularly strong in body and soul and has the most laid back, cheerful disposition of anyone in our family, that I pray will serve her well in life. When she saw this photograph, and I informed her that it would be going in to the high school year book (and on the blog!), she just groaned. I'm not sure what is the best part of this picture. The hair? The smirk? The shirt that says, "The Mountains are Calling and ...."?
When my sister, Beth, saw this picture she gasped. "Oh no, no, no, no. You'll need a re-take." To which I responded, "NOPE. We are so totally going to own this one in all of it's 8x10, 5x7, 4x6 and sheets of wallet-sized glory. It is the absolute PERFECT representation of Carolyn in her freshman year and I will treasure it for always. Just like I treasure this photo of William at two."
Sadly, these days won't last forever. One day, sooner than I would like, my baby Carolyn will undoubtedly be a brilliant academic somewhere - and she will be fearlessly taking on the world's most challenging problems - and THRIVING. And I will be so, so grateful for these wonderful memories that I have preserved on this blog, because I know that if I don't take the time to write them down, I will forget them forever.
Yes. I'm certain that I'm slowly losing my mind, and I'm more convinced than ever that parenting really does do that to you. Especially in the teenage years.
