Tonight, I had to solemnly swear that I wouldn't write about any of the issues that are happening in regards to my family in Massachusetts for at least the next few days. Weeks. Possibly months.
I might never have the opportunity to write about my family, again.
But I can say this much.
If I could gather all of the incidents and stories that have occurred in my family over the past few years and compile them in to a book, no one would believe that it was nonfiction. As I'm writing this, I'm still shaking my head over what has transpired in the past 24 hours.
The stuff that happens in my family just doesn't happen in real life.
Or, maybe it does and I'm sheltered?
If you are familiar with Seinfeld, you might recall the Costanza's celebration of Festivus. Even though the show has been off the air for ten years, sometimes when tensions run high at our house, either Charlie or I will say, "And now, for the Airing of our Grievances..."
Usually, that lightens the mood and provides an excellent segue to discuss what it is that's bothering us. You know, get it out in the open - off our chests, that sort of thing. So, I'm calling on you to air your grievances to help me feel better about my own personal situation. Which in turn, will hopefully help you see some humor in your own familial turmoil. AND, possibly help someone who is in the throes of something similar. Maybe me?
So no one feels singled out - or perhaps recognized - I'll encourage you to keep it anonymous. But please tell me what's the bat shit craziest thing that your family has ever done, and more importantly, how you managed it or wish you managed it, with love and grace.
I'll take what I consider to be the top stories and put them up for a vote.
The winner gets a brand new cowbell that you may want to consider wearing around your neck so that you always feel happy.
Or, you could put it around a certain relatives neck so you always know when they are coming and you have ample time to run. And hide.