Thursday, May 15, 2008

hear me out

If you are doing something that you know - or suspect - is wrong, don't do it.

But if you feel that you must, don't document your activities in writing or take photographs of yourself in the act. Even though you might think that your words and pictures are safe, there is always the chance that they could be forwarded to an unintended recipient. Or, your computer (or cell phone) might fall in to someone else's hands and they will hack in to your system and discover all of your secrets.

So just ask yourself this...

Is this "thing" that you are doing something that you would want for everyone that knows you to know about? How would you feel if your "little secret" was presented to a court of law - or broadcast on television? If the prospect of that makes you a little uneasy, then whatever you do, do NOT put your thoughts in writing and/or upload electronic pictures of yourself.

For instance, if you work for a chemical company and you are trying to cover up toxicological data that shows certain substances definitively cause cancer ... don't send out an e-mail directing your personnel to "Destroy any and all data immediately!" If you do, there is a good chance that the police will come knocking on your door, and slap you in cuffs.

Similarly, if you are having an affair, don't write all the details of your encounters in e-mail and include racy pictures of yourself. If (or more likely - when) you get caught, there is a good chance that your infuriated spouse will print out every single e-mail and photo, make multiple copies and hand these copies out (in tidy 1-inch binders), to everyone you know.

A little common sense goes a long way.

*****

If you have a healthy baby, your child should be capable of sleeping through the night by the time they are 10-months old.

Yes, they should.

They should not be waking up at 11:00 PM, 1:00 AM and 4:00 AM to eat.

No, they should not.

If you enjoy having a child wake up numerous times throughout the night and disrupt your sleep patterns, that's one thing. But if you are exhausted and irritated and losing patience with your child - and your spouse - and anyone who comes near you - do something about it. Prolonged sleep deprivation will wreak havoc on your emotional, physical, familial, and marital well being.

*****

Don't spend more than you earn. Putting yourself in to dire financial straights is very seldom a good idea.

For instance, if you buy a house and then decide that you can't afford the house, don't think for a minute that it will help matters if you take out cash advances on every single one of your credit cards.

Your bad financial situation will be a whole lot worse when you've got $100,000.00 in credit card debt on top of your mortgage.

*****

Don't waste your time or money on mini peanut butter cups. Twenty mini cups are the equivalent of two standard peanut butter cups. Not only do the mini peanut butter cups cost more per volume - they melt all over your hand when you grab them by the fistful.


And really. It's not like you could ever eat just one.

10 comments:

  1. I guess I had best stop doing that, and that, and both of those.

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  2. Thanks for helping me stay on track.

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  3. Do you really think everyone is going to find out? Gosh I hope not.

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  4. The absolute lack of common sense in (some) people amaze me. Your eyes would probably fall clean out of your head if you saw what I saw - from someone who I always thought was smart.

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  5. What a teaser this was. I was hoping for the fruits of someones goofs :)
    Oh and QUIT talking about the yummy pb cups. I am finding it harder to resist!

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  6. Loved the kibble and cold shower post.
    I too, was hoping you would share a bigger hint at "why" we don't do this and that and that. Rat chow.

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  7. Yes... what a teaser! I read this post last night and had to check out the comments today to see if you were going to give up some juicy info!
    I agree, some seemingly intelligent people shock me with their actions. I guess they get what they deserve!
    :)

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  8. since you started blogging about the PB cups, I find your posts less interesting, and the Trader Joes website more interesting. I'm just now sitting here waiting patiently for them to magically whip up one of these giant fabu stores and plant it down right here in front of me... What are the chances of that happening? Slim, I know.
    Oh and Btw. The boys are all wearing Keens now... I'm offcially in debt up to my eyeballs.

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  9. Whew, this is heavy stuff. Great advice, though. ;)

    And those PB cups, geesh you tease. I don't have a Trader Joe's ANYWHERE near me! How do these compare to Reese's? Reese's cups are all I know. And peanut butter and chocolate is my favorite combo. I just had a handful of PB M&Ms, mmmm!

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  10. OK, I just looked. There is a Trader Joe's in Columbus about a 2 hour drive from me. I'll have to make a day trip to check it out sometime. :D

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