Tuesday, April 27, 2010

breathe, just breathe...

Have you ever had that experience in life, where you can very clearly see that there is a fork in the road coming up and you'll soon need to make a decision which path to take?

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And people tell you that the answer will present itself if you listen to God, but God isn't really giving you a clear answer? Or maybe He is and you really stink at reading signs?

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And so you struggle with what the "right" path is and you weigh all the pros and cons and you sleep on it, for several nights, and you pray and you ponder and you poll people about what they'd do and then you try not to think about it at all because quieting the mind is supposed to be helpful?

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And just when you finally settle on a new course and things are set in to motion, you're traversing along a surreal track of stuff! happening! and suddenly, the whole dang road disappears and now you're floating in a river - like a dream?

But it's NOT a dream?

It's YOUR reality?

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And everyone around you is smiling and laughing and full of glee at the changes that are coming your way and inside there is a little voice that is screaming, "OH MY HOLY HECK, WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I'VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE! DON'T SELL THE HOUSE! DON'T MOVE! I MUST TURN AROUND BEFORE I GO OVER THE WATERFALL!!!"

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And then, there is another voice that is countering, "WOO HOO!! WATERFALLS ARE GREAT!! THIS IS A WONDERFUL, INVIGORATING CHOICE, THE MOST AWESOME OF ALL CHOICES THAT HAVE EVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING CHOSEN!! THIS IS LIFE AT IT'S FINEST!!"

And you don't really know which voice to listen to?

And so you are wrought with fear that you are about to mess things up?

(Or maybe not? Who really knows anymore??)

Today was a beautiful day in southern California. Once again, I was reminded how much I love our small house, our wonderful friends, our community and this area in general. Then, I received a phone call.

I'm due to be in Virginia on July 1.

A place, that I know is also beautiful. A place that will be equal distance between my family in Massachusetts and my family in South Carolina. A place where our children will have a better chance of knowing their extended family and have the joy of experiencing seasons. A place that is new and different and fun. A place where I will be in an office and will hopefully have some better structure to my days. A place where I also hope that I'll have enough flexibility with my career that I won't feel like I'm missing out on the vast majority of my children's lives because if I do ... well, then I'll just promptly quit and we'll all be homeless.

(No pressure there.)

Since I need to be in the office by July 1, that means that over the next eight weeks ... we need to sell (or rent) our home in California, buy (or rent) a new home in Virginia (preferably one that won't make us totally house poor and yet, is close to the office), move our family 3,000 miles cross-country, get settled in, get myself acclimated to a new role, register the children for Kindergarten, find new doctors and a new church and a new recycling facility (unless they offer curbside pickup?), get new drivers' licenses and professional registrations, and drink vast quantities of wine.

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Oh yeah.

Wait a minute...

Scratch that last one.

62 comments:

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  47. Why scratch the last one? Sounds like a perfectly good choice to deal with it.

    Are you pregnant???

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  48. How did nobody else make the connection? No wine=pregnant? Am I right?

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  49. Just thought I would correct a previous poster and let you know that there are Trader Joe's in many, many states other than Cali -- and about 5 in the DC area. So no worries, you can still get your Joe Joes :)

    I agree with Reno who said there is no "right" choice. Don't worry so much about making the "perfect" choice -- choose, commit, and the rest will follow. And remember nothing in life is permanent. Good luck whatever you decide!

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  50. You CAN do this! And there ARE Trader Joes in Virginia!
    Just like reading a great book, I can't wait to see what happens next!

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  51. I'm with Sandy, just reading your post I'm having trouble breathing. Okay, okay, one step at a time. I would not want to be moving, I would say chuck all of these plans, BUT it could be the best decision of your life! Breathe . . . . . . praying for some quick decisions and peace in your heart :)

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  52. Please don't post this b/c it would once again give away your secret, but wow- I'm shocked at how many people don't seem to pick up on what the "big news" really is- esp. with all of your hints! (The wine, the everyone-excited-and-gleeful thing, etc, the wording of "I am due in Va", etc.).

    Very clever!

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  53. No wine = pregnant. AMIRIGHT?

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  54. I'm thinking there may be more to the story....

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  55. Tough decision! There'll be good things and bad things about it either way - but it should help to know that Trader Joe's is found in a LOT of places! I live in Minnesota and there are THREE count them, 3! within 20 minutes of my house. Maybe 4, I'm not sure, they keep popping up everywhere around here. Also when I lived in Oregon, there was one in Eugene and I'm sure there were several in Portland. There must be some on the east coast!

    So, at least there's that.

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  56. why can't you drink wine??? Are you pregnant again of doing infertility treatments??

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  57. Funny. Most people think this post is about MOVING.... I think it's really about SOMETHING else! Just call it family intuition.
    :-)

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  58. I can so relate to what you are going thru. 2 1/2 years ago, my hubby got a job offer in Florida, and we had to decide right away, and move within 6 weeks.
    I had never lived anywhere but AZ, and all my family lived there, as well as a lifetime of friends. We had a house we couldn't sell because we had built it 2 years earlier, and the market was tanking. Thankfully we rented it out, even tho the rent is less than our mortgage. I had to register 3 kids, one being a teenager starting her soph year, and she was NOT happy. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and it took me about 3 months of being here, to come out of my funk.
    However, being here now, I do not regret moving here at all. I love our new home. And so do all my kids! Thank God!
    Definitely take the advice of the others, Just Breathe! Write down all the pros and cons and also go with your gut. It wont lead you wrong.
    Good Luck!

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  59. seasons are overrated. We missed snow when we moved back from Va Beach, VA to Chicago, I don't miss snow anymore. That was 6 years ago, I'm ready for warmth, new mexico sounds good, and My dad lives there :-)

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  60. Holy Crap, I just realized that you are pregnant! Wow!
    Congrats,
    Stephanie

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  61. I don't know if you'll get this comment but I noticed you live in North County-ish (we do too) and you might be moving to VA (we are too...in June). Good luck with the move, it gives me anxiety everytime I think of it and I only have 2 kids.

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  62. I vote, Virginia. :)

    Except for that office job bit.

    Wow, you really do have a tough choice.

    Just breathing would be best right now.

    My best advice is to proceed unless you feel an overwhelming "No! Stop!" Normal anxiety and stress is ...well, normal. But you will KNOW the warning when you feel it. And you'll KNOW the peace (even with stress) when you're on the right track.

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