Wednesday, December 07, 2011


The children sat down and wrote letters to Santa, today.

William wrote:

Deer Santa:
I want a Harry Pottr costume and a Capaain America costume and sam toy. Any cind of toy. Love, William.



Dear Santa, (or maybe it really was deer, as in reindeer?)
I want a Harry Potter costume and a Captain America costume and some toys. Any kind of toys. Love, William

Some toys. Any kind of toys. I love that. He has a very open mind as to what those toys might be. But he is very prescriptive on the types of costumes that he'd like to receive. Thank goodness for the internet! In years past, I'm not sure where Santa would find a Harry Potter and/or Captain America costume in December.

Elizabeth with the (initial) help of her father wrote,

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl this year and I would have I wit a dohas wif brbeze di wotd pises cis i ned i wot qises texe piwo ta hug. Love, Elizabeth



Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl this year and I would like to have a doll house with Barbies and the little pieces. I also want a dressmaker and I want to give you a hug. Love, Elizabeth

When she read this to me my initial thought of, "How sweet!" conflicted with my secondary thought of, "OH NO. The Barbie house with the LITTLE PIECES?! Please! Not the LITTLE PIECES!" My vacuum loves little pieces! Yummy, yum, yum!

It's worthy to note: Elizabeth is very artistic and has been asking me for a dressmaker (bodice? mannequin?) for several months. She is clearly more interested in the needle and thread than her mother, who just last night was busted trying to staple Girl Scout patches to her daughter's uniforms. That Charlie. Just because he is so prolific with Badge Magic he thinks everyone should be. What a Boy Scout.

Carolyn wrote,

Dear Santa,
I hop you hab a grat fol. I want a frey fauz and a tokin bune thos foh wut I want for Chrisstmas. Love, Grace



Dear Santa,
I hope you had a great fall. I want funny friends and a talking bunny. That's what I want for Christmas. Love, Grace

My daughter is so thoughtful to wish that Santa had a great fall. As for her letter, I want funny friends, too. Assuming they are actual funny friends, as in people, and not stuffed animals because we have over a million in our house and don't need any more. With the stuffed animal overpopulation issue, we could definitely skip the talking bunny, which I assume is also a stuffed animal. That talks. As it is, my children talk so much - they never stop talking, not even in their sleep. Now, we've added to the mix an adorable yapping and spontaneously leaking puppy.

So here's my letter to Santa.

Dear Santa,
Please bring me some ear plugs. Also, I'd appreciate some new covers for my steam mop that I'm using ALL THE TIME to clean up puppy spills. It might be helpful if you could bring us some little tiny puppy boots and a tiny puppy coat because Louie doesn't like the cold so he holds his pee-pee and poo-poo until he is inside the house. On his warm cozy bed. Santa, it's not even winter yet and our new dog doesn't like to go outside. I'm very concerned for what the next 16 weeks might be like. If you have any tranquilizers laying around, please throw those in the bag. Alternatively, an abundance of wine and chocolate will suffice. Love, Jenny

Sorry. This post is to document our children's letters to Santa, not my crazy rantings.

Tonight before bed, William drafted another letter.

Dear Santa,
Do you know what I want for Christmas? I want a Harry Potter costume and sum toys. Love, William!




Listen up …. I've told you TWICE.