Monday, October 12, 2009

extraordinary dads

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by the producers of a popular television show.

It seems the producers were looking for a family with triplets. Or more specifically, they were looking for a father of triplets. And not just any father, an extraordinary father.


A father that can handle the day to day life with high order multiples.


A father that doesn't crack under pressure.


A father that keeps his cool and makes the whole thing look ... easy.

And well, the producers found me through my blog and asked if my husband (and any other extraordinary triplet dads that I might know) would be available to sit down and talk with a father of triplets who lives in the area and who desperately needs support from other triplet dads. Because I had just registered our triplet mom team for the 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk, I wrote the producers back and said,
"Your timing is great re: interaction with triplet dads since I'm currently training with four of my fellow triplet moms for the 3-Day breast cancer walk in San Diego. It's a course that will take us 60 miles over three days and have us camping in tents at night. While we are out walking - all of our husbands have committed to staying home with the children. Maybe we can get the triplet mom to join our 3-Day walk team - and the father, who desperately needs help from other dads, can join rank with our extraordinary husbands? Provided the idea of being home alone with his children for three days doesn't send him in to cardiac arrest..."
They didn't bite.

Instead, last weekend while I was home in South Carolina, Charlie met up with two other triplet dads, whose wives I know (Jessica is actually on my walk team), and the three of these guys sat down and chatted for over an hour with one of the most popular television stars around. Since I wouldn't be at the filming, I asked Charlie what kind of advice he was going to give this father.

My husband, totally straight faced said, "I'm going to tell him that he needs to step up to the plate and be a man. I'm going to tell him that he has the ball and he needs to run with it. I'm going to tell him that he needs to completely share the parenting responsibilities with his wife - and the first time she ever asks him to do something, he needs to totally blow it, so she never asks him to do anything, ever again."

He was just kidding. Of course. Although, that does kind of explain why he put the triplets to bed without their diapers once when they were four months old.

Anyway. Last weekend, Charlie (Derrick & David) met with a celebrity.

Do you recognize her?


How about now?


Or now?

The triplet dad that Charlie, Derrick and David (and Jo Jo) sat down with is named Mark. He and his wife just moved to San Diego along with their three year old triplets and five year old. From what I understand, they are really struggling. The five year old came first (obviously) and life with one child was a bowl of cherries. But then came along triplets and all hell broke loose.

(I don't know what their problem is. Life around here is always peaches and cream. Oh. Wait a minute. HENRY! HENRY!! GET OUT OF THE TOILET!! ELIZABETH, DOLLY'S HAIR WILL NOT GROW BACK IF YOU CUT IT OFF - PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS!! GRACIE GOOD GOD WHY IS THERE LIQUID SOAP ON MY CAMERA?! WILLIAM! WILLIAM?! WHO ARE YOU CALLING?! GET OFF THE PHONE!!)

Ahem.

Charlie said that Mark's biggest concern is that once he became a father, he began to lose his identity as a husband. It seems his whole life now revolves around the children. And whenever he has quiet time with his wife, all that they talk about are the children, children, children.

Who is he?

Who is she?

What happened to them?

My husband, along with the other triplet dads, spoke about the importance of taking time away for yourself - and for your marriage. You must make it a priority to have that one - on - one time with each of your children, and especially with your spouse.

When Mark further stressed that he feels like he and his wife have nothing to talk about outside of the kids - my husband suggested ON CAMERA that they drink more wine.

See, my advice would have been make sure you laugh with your spouse, every day. If you can can find humor together, you can handle just about anything. And also, eat a bowl of ice cream while sitting side by side at the end of a long day. It really helps and seeing my hubby drizzle hot fudge makes me love him that much more. (The key is moderation. Everything in moderation.)

(I'm so glad Charlie didn't grab the camera and take a photo of me licking every last molecule of hot fudge out of that bowl. Oh Mercy. Not a drop can ever go to waste.)

The show is scheduled to air on ABC Friday, January 15, 2010.

But something tells me, my husband's pearl of wisdom about throwing back another glass of vino to help facilitate better communication, isn't going to make it on the air. Regardless, I hope it comes across that my Charlie is not only a rockstar dad, he is a rockstar husband.

I definitely hit the jackpot in the spouse department.

17 comments:

  1. Awesome! Can't wait to see it! I love that show.

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  2. Very cool!
    I love Jo Jo : )

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  3. Jen,

    Aren't you glad that you didn't listen to Margaret?

    P.S. If you ever run into a "single Charlie" in my general age vicinity,could you give him my number?

    LOL

    XOXO AM

    http://www.simplysweeter.blogspot.com

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  4. That's pretty cool! And so is Charlie. :)

    I have a rockstar of a husband too. I think every couple with kids is challenged to balance co-parenting and couplehood. It does get intensified with a larger number of kids, and it's so easy to get caught up in being a parent and forget about being a person. Yeah, been there, done that.

    My husband's great at reminding me to take me time, but he's living overseas at the moment. Sometimes parenting two gets so overwhelming that I don't take the time I should to write to him or make the effort to stay connected. We've started reading the same books simultaneously to help us maintain common experiences even during our long separations, and that's been great.

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  5. yes yes you did! Now go make bread with him! lol

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  6. Awesome! What a great thing you both have going!!

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  7. My husband and I have BBB triplets (8 months old) and enjoy reading your blog. This post was great. What a cool experience.

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  8. That's awesome! (As I type, my own Charlie is toting our 2 yr old around over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.)

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  9. Nonis20@Bellsouth.net10/12/09, 11:31 AM

    Charlie is a winner and so supportive of you---and he loves his children,and takes time for them, And You-- and it shows.
    He is one in a million!
    MOM

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  10. Way to go, Charlie! You're one of my heroes!

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  11. Neat! I don't watch that show but I want to watch that episode. I hope I remember! Will you remind us closer to then?

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  12. One of many cuzzins!10/12/09, 12:49 PM

    AWESOME!! I'm sure you'll send out a reminder so we don't miss Charlie's big debut.

    I love JoJo!! Mary Kate and I watch the Supernanny together all the time. You and Charlie could teach alot of those families a thing or two.

    What a howl that they found your blog...just never know whose reading.

    ~R

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  13. Can't wait to see the show. Maybe my DH can learn a thing or two from Charlie :D

    Actually the wine advice sounds perfect to me!

    We did a show for TLC when the babies were born. We had just moved into a new house and my DH and FIL were building the deck in the back while my MIL and I were trying to make dinner, keep the babies on a schedule and entertain my 4 year old. My DH opens the door asks how things are going.. I run down the list then without missing a beat asks me if I can get him a glass of water!

    Now if my DH could turn water into wine I might have actually got it for him. LOL!

    Thanks for the great post. It reminds me that despite some of his blunders my DH is an extraordinary dad too.

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  14. HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! Congrats to Charlie for being picked for the show (& Kudos to him for being extraordinary!). Can't wait to see it. Please remind us in January of the airing. :)

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  15. OMG!!! That is so cool! I can't wait to watch the show.

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  16. I LOOOVVVE Auntie Jojo!

    I always tell my kids, "See, I'm not mean...Super Nanny does it that way too!"

    People bring their kids to my house so they can see my kids behave, and then they say things like, "Do you want MAIJA to SuperNanny you!?

    Cause I will!

    Yay for cool husbands. I have one too! He's only been on the Outdoor channel though, nothing like SUPERNANNY!

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  17. Well how cool is that! Can't wait to see the awesome Charlie live.

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