I never thought I'd pry dog poop out of a child's hand and then jump 2-feet in the air when they handed me a dead bug.
I never thought I'd be glad - extremely glad - to be the first person to see a dead mouse in our garden.
I never thought I would chew the skin off an apple while standing in line at the grocery store, because my child won't eat an apple if it hasn't yet been peeled.
I never thought if I was at a play date and without Kleenex, I'd use my nice shirt to wipe a toddler's runny nose.
I never thought I'd honor the 3
I never thought I'd lower my standards on cleanliness to the point that I'd smile contentedly while my children splashed in our dog's water bowl ... for the simple reason it kept them happily entertained and more importantly - quiet.
I never thought my most valued article of clothing in my closet would be my cargo pants. (It's all about the huge pockets - that hold everything from diapers to sippy cups to 12-oz packages of Nilla Wafers.)
I never thought that I could spend hours cleaning the house, only to have it be completely and utterly destroyed in less than 10 minutes. Several times a day.
I never thought I'd use my bare hands to catch spit-up (or vomit) from a babies mouth.
I never thought phrases like "Stop playing in the trash!", "Toothpaste is not food!" or "Spit out the battery!" would be common place in my daily speech.
I never thought cleaning my children with a damp paper towel before bedtime would substitute nicely for a bath.
I never thought my idea of decontamination when it comes to my children - would involve sucking the straw on a sippy cup, after it was thrown to the ground in front of the deli counter.
I never thought that after watching my children play with their food and pour their milk in to their applesauce, that I'd pour the milk and applesauce mixture back in to their cup and then watch them drink it, without gagging.
I never thought that in an effort to save a buck, I'd try to cut my children's hair. For that matter, I never thought that my husband, knowing how terribly I do at pruning our bushes - would ever let me within 2-feet of our children with a pair of scissors or electric clippers.
I never thought I'd fully expect that any snacks I give my children - will be promptly dumped out on the floor.
I never thought that my idea of lunch would involve eating whatever was left over on my children's plates and then sitting with them on the floor and snacking off goldfish, raisins and mozzarella cheese sticks that have been partially ground in to the carpet.
I never thought that I'd be overwhelmed with so much responsibility, each and every day.
I never thought that I'd be overwhelmed with so much love, each and every day.
After the kind of day I've had ... I never thought that I'd wager waking up a sleeping child, by picking them up and feeling them in my arms one last time, before I go to sleep at night.
I never thought, in my wildest dreams, that I'd be the mother of triplets.