Friday, October 24, 2008

what did i do?

I think I may have just called my boss and told him that my career was my passion until I had children. And now, my children are my passion and I can't be a really good mother and a really good employee. And then, I think I said that I want to home school our children. And then I might have said that I think my company should hire Charlie in my place. And then, I think I may have said that we need to be relocated to Virginia so we could be closer to family.

And then, I called my husband from our home line and told him what I did.

And then, while I was hyperventilating and talking out loud to my shadow over the repercussions of such communication with my husband and boss and our uncertain future, unbeknown to me, Henry picked up my cell phone and in the process of mashing buttons as only a one-year-old can do ... called the last number dialed and jabbered on the phone while I could hear my boss ask over the speakerphone, "Is this the baby?? Is this Henry??"

And then I passed out.


  1. Perfect!


  2. I seriously think you made the right choice.

    We left LA last year and I'm mostly staying home with my kids. I was on the fast track career path and I had my girls in daycare from 8am to 6pm and I have missed so much. I won't do that here, I don't need to do that here. We save so much money by living in Denver, than we did in LA. Don't get me wrong, I miss pieces of that life, but I wouldn't trade this one for the world.

    I know it's scary. Trust me, I know. But if you follow through with it, you'll most likely never regret it. Have faith in your decision making skills. Have faith. :)

    And maybe go buy some ice cream or treats from Trader Joes. It might help

  3. I don't comment much but I've been following your family for some time. I have a 3.5 yo son and 7 mo ID BBB triplets, so kind of the opposite of your family. I really think you did the right thing, or more specifically, I think that it will be the right thing, because I'm a huge proponent of making big changes to shake us out of where we are, to where we want to be with our families. It's going to be hard, we've done a 1000+ mile move ourselves (pre-trips, but with our singleton at 14 mo), but 18 months after it's done you'll be so far on the other side that you'll be settled and so, so glad you did it.

    I made everyone in my family and career angry by uprooting myself for the life I knew I needed to have, and have no regrets. I hope it works out the same for you.

  4. Holy Cow woman. That's a lot of change in about 5 minutes time!

  5. Hi,
    long time reader,
    first (or second, I can't remember) time commenter.
    You have made the right decision. Your children need you and you need to feel like you can give them your time.
    And I hear Virginia is beautiful:-)
    Good luck!!

  6. oh wow. well. good luck with that! :)

  7. Good luck to you! My fingers are crossed that things settle down for you...

  8. Can't

  9. Did you really do that??? Just up and quit??? :O

    I think ya did the right thing. You can always get a job, but your kids will only be little once! ONLY ONCE!

    If you were a really good employee, maybe youre company will hire you back after the children are grown. :)

    I really think you did the right thing, and you will know that more and more as time goes on. :)

    ~Amazied ~Cindy! :O

  10. Do you know that I admire you?

    What a tough decision... and I think you did the right thing. And if you head to VA I think you'll enjoy it there. That's my home and it's beautiful there. And homeschooling is wonderful too.

    Change is always scary!

  11. Well DANG go girl!! You are my hero!! Good job!!!


  12. Remember how when you were at work, you were always thinkin about the kids???

    And remember how you were always complainin about the high price of the montessori school?

    If you stay home, you won't have to pay that tuition, and you will not be distracted from your job by the kids! The kids WILL be your job! :D Maybe you can work just a little from home, if you need the money...

    STILL Amazed ~Cindy!
    *SHOCKED* is more like it!
    GO [insert name of choice here]! :D

  13. you ROCK! i wish i could do the same (sans the virginia part.. i like new england too much).. how did charlie take it?

    LOVE Henry's phone trick.. my son did the same once, but he called his neurologist.. doh!

  14. Does your boss know about this blog?

  15. An Avid Reader for Quite a While (In NY)10/24/08, 3:25 PM

    Though it may seem like you are between a rock and a hard place when it comes to making this decision, you are really at a "The world is my oyster" place. From what you say, it seems your company is willing to employ you right now or a few years from now, whatever you decide and wherever you decide. And it also seems like you are a "Don't knock it until you've tried it" kind of person and the type of person who wants to provide her children with a vast amount of opportunities.

    So, put them into the full day school so they (and you) can try it.

    Then move to VA so you and your family can try it. Home school them for a year and evaluate the situation. If it doesn't feel right, tweak it. If the tweaking involves moving again, go for it. The kids are young enough to not be affected by it too much.

    By the way, didn't your post right before your cross-country trip state that some of the BEST decisions you have made have been spur of the moment decisions?

    And, hey, there is always copious amounts of alcohol until next year as a possibility.

  16. oh my. I guess the next question is what did the boss say?

  17. Jen oh Jen do I need to bring smelling salt? HeHe

  18. Go with your gut. Your gut is telling you to do this. You feel guilty for juggling them around so much. It's time to make a change, and make this work for your family. You will be happier in the long run!

    Just make sure to schedule regular time to get the kids out of the house and give yourself a break!


  19. HOLY CRAP!!! My stomach is in knots for you!

  20. I have been praying for you all day and I don't even know you. I just have watched you go through toddler trials like me and have been so inspired by you. You have brought tears to my eyes! Go with your heart because it always knows best. Good luck to you.

  21. I am dying to know what Charlie said!!! I have been reading your blog for quite some time (2ish years I think) and from everything you've ever posted about working vs staying home and your desire to possibly homeschool and how you miss your family back east, etc...this seems like the best "fit". I am jealous...DH is dying to transfer to the office in Virginia, but my family is here (am in suburb of Houston) and our cost of living is so low here that Virginia seems crazy expensive. But coming from Southern CA, it's probably cheaper for you!!! Hope everything works out well for you!!!


  22. Wow.
    I was initially shocked that you actually did it, but then when I thought about all of your previous posts questioning career, school, home, etc. I wasn't surprised.
    If this really happened, and wasn't a Krispy Kreme sugar induced hallucination, GOOD FOR YOU!
    Looking forward to reading what's next!!

  23. You did the right thing Jen, it is so clear from your writing. You are woman, hear you roar! I LOVE that this generation of moms is claiming the fact that we don't have to do EVERYTHING to be a superwoman. Yeah Jen!

  24. Good for you! I left my amazing career behind to be with my more amazing kids, and I never regret it for a minute. Well, only on the days I don't get to shower and I've watched Elmo three times.
    :) Congratulations on your quick decision making and on your new adventure.

  25. Career will always be there. Follow your heart! Uhmmm homeschool... still a work in progress. Somethings just work o.u.t. ya know kiddo?

  26. I think you should stick with your gut decision, no matter how scary it may be. Change is scary. Bigger change is bigger scary.

    Ok, that didn't make any sense, but you KWIM.

    Breathe. It will all work out in the end. It will!!

  27. what??? say it ain't so...
    call me!

  28. One of many cuzzins!10/25/08, 3:09 AM

    YAY!! Best decision of your life. You will never, ever regret being home with your children.

    In spite of a few lean years, and to this day still playing catch up with bills, it's the best thing Colin and I have ever done as parents. You are going to be so much happier and at peace. You deserve to be a full time Mom and they all deserve having you there with them 100% of the time. Look how fast 4 years has gone...its a short gig. You don't want to miss it.

    I am thrilled for you. Excited for Charlie. And WICKED happy for the kiddos. And Henry...he's the man!!

    Congrats and please pass the o'henry bars!

  29. Wow! How exciting! And PETRIFYING :) You've wanted to do this for a long time! Have you changed your mind yet??? :) I'll be praying for you and your family. Once you and Charlie finalize your decision, you will both be happy about the new stage in your life!

  30. oh girl!

    just in case you were wondering, we have the most awesome triplet playdates and moms night outs here in virginia.

    we'd be honored to have you!

  31. delurking for a moment (sorry about the lurking part, I promise I am not a stalker and beyond living somewhere in the warmth of California I've never tried to track you down...pinky swear). In times of struggle I've always reminded myself that I will never at the end of my life regret the lack of time I've spent at my job. Lack of time with my family is another story.

    I'm sure this is stressful and scary decision to make, but if you can make it work, you'll never have that end of your life regret. I won't go into day to day regrets, lol. I'm sure you understand that even better than I do.

  32. OMG! OMG! OMG! I have no problem making decisions BUT YOU JUST FREAKED ME OUT!


    Are you really going to do it? I have goose bumps. I think I'm going to pass out too.

  33. I love this line from the movie "Hope Floats"

    Beginings are scary
    Endings are sad
    it's whats in the middle that counts.

    I think you got yourself a new begining, and an ending. So its sad and scary. But you are going to make the middle count, and you are going to love it.

    Good luck!

  34. I've been reading your blog for ages now and it's my favorite. I've got twins +1 surprise. Anyway I never thought I would post this b/c I thought it wasn't my business but feel compelled to after you posted this last time. I think you SHOULD let your husband take your job and relocate. You are a fantastic mom and have so many great ideas. These years will pass so quickly and you are always alluding to wanting to be with them more, wanting a more simple life. Do it!! I lived in Virginia and you will love it! Get a good price house with alot of land and let those kids run! It'll be good for you all and looking back in 40 years I bet you will be thankful that you traded in your hectic lifestyle for "the simple life". Good Luck in your decision and thanks if you read my two cents :)

  35. Wow what a big decision! congratulations!

    I am sure it will be the right thing for your family.

    I'm sure you remember my huge indecision about moving, but we did it and we are so happy.

    I have put in the quote that was the turning point for me, I love it

    "Twenty years from now you will be more
    disappointed by the things you didn't do than
    by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines.
    Sail away from the safe harbour.
    Catch the trade winds in your sails.
    Explore. Dream. Discover."
    --Mark Twain

  36. Holy Moly! Cherie's right, we do have an amazing group of triplet moms out here in the VA/DC/MD area. We just had dinner last night!


    So, um, wow?