Wednesday, July 18, 2007

what kind of mother?

Someone recently commented that my allowing William to wear pink pajamas and dress in a tutu is fundamentally wrong and will lead to gender confusion.

My response was not allowing our two-year old son to do things that his sisters are doing, is fundamentally wrong and will cause more trauma than it will prevent.

Besides, I've already summarized how different the girls are from William and how we have front row seats to the nature versus nurture scene unfolding in our home. Here's just a bit more evidence that our children are progressing normally in their respective genders...

The other night, while Elizabeth was holding Henry, he started to cry. My mother, who was sitting nearby commented "Baby Henry is hungry. It's time for him to eat."

Elizabeth without missing a beat whipped up her shirt, grabbed Henry by the head and tried to push him in to her chest while saying "Eat baby. EAT!!"

When Carolyn did the exact same thing a short time later, I was convinced that my daughters realized that they possessed the "equipment" to feed a baby.

Meanwhile, whenever William is nearby and Henry starts to root ... he'll take off running in the opposite direction.
He certainly has enjoyed having a baby in the house, but not nearly to the extent that his sisters have.

While the girls are constantly doting on their brother ... now that he gets the swing of potty training, William is focused on trying to make the biggest poop possible.

This is a picture that Charlie snapped off this morning.

(Less than 10 minutes after I published the post - I came back and deleted the picture. If anyone saw the photo, they'd never believe that a 2-year old was capable of such a feat. Besides, if William ever runs for President, I don't want a picture that his father took during his potty training days to come back and haunt him.)

I was nursing Henry in the other room (no surprise there) but I could over hear Charlie comment "WOW William! Now THAT is a poop to be proud of!!!"

Maybe it's the girl in me, but I wouldn't have thought to take a picture of the huge poop ... nor would I imagine that our daughters would stand next to it - like they just landed the biggest fish in the lake - giving me a thumbs up.

Yet our son had his proudest moment yet ... today in the bathroom ... with a poop the size of a Cuban cigar.

Someday soon, I might believe it was fundamentally wrong to ever wish that my two-year old could give me a much needed break and feed her brother. Likewise, someday soon, I might believe it was fundamentally wrong to post a picture write about my son's huge poop on my blog.

But as of right now, in my sleep deprived and somewhat delirious state, these are two of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.


  1. HILARIOUS! That picture of William is positively PRICELESS!!!!

  2. I'm actually jealous of the poop in the potty (even without the picture) - I've got a 3yo who needs to feel that kind of accomplishment. But I think you may have given me the answer - we've got boys galore in this house - how hard could it be to start a peeing contest? That should come naturally, don't you think? Look for a group thumbs up photo on my blog soon. :)

    And it is so adorable that your girls are all about helping out with the feeding. If only...

  3. I'm with you 100%. You do not need to worry about gender confusion. I taught first grade and we had a doll house in our room. The girls played neighbors and house so sweetly. The boys bombed the building and pretended it was on fire. I never instructed them. Nor did the swtich off. Boys are wired differently. My lone boy in a house of girls gets dressed up with his sisters and plays ballet. He also pulls the legs off bugs (what's up with that) hits the baseball hard and is proud of his standing up in the bathroom "equiptment". People are riduculous.

    BTW, your baby just gets cuter and cuter.

  4. PS - It's so funny that someone got after you for the tutu. You are so right to let him have what his sisters have - it would make a huge issue that doesn't need to be there at preschool age anyway. Interestingly enough, I've had a couple people make comments to be about not being gender neutral enough or not encouraging my boys toward trying traditionally girl things. Whatever. Like I can teach them not to be boys. txmommy is right on. :)

  5. Boys will be boys..... Up until now William had a housefull (so to speak) and roomfull of SISTERS. He is perfectly fine.... I have a niece that wanted to play cars as much as she played dolls as her older sister looked on with the DOLLS. The younger one is now 8 and is a girly girl and NOW the girls have a 19 month old brother who is being taught the ART of playing with cars by his 8 year old sister.

    I think that people that get all worked up about gender confusion when a child is 2 need to TAKE A BREATH! Kids have to figure out who they are because they are an INDIVIDUAL...... You are a great mother to not force the issue with William and letting him be who he is, WILLIAM!!!!

    ON a total side note, what if William grows up to have ONLY daughters, what a gem of a father they will have that he knows how and has dressed up in a tutu!!!!!!!

  6. If you ever get a second to relax (that's pushing it I know) pick up a copy of Why Gender Matters. It pretty much validates and elaborates on what you have said. I love your blog!

  7. When my son was three, he never tried to nurse his infant sister, but he did try to nurse his beloved Big Bird stuffed animal. When he walked into the family room with Big Bird's beak on his nipple, the look on my husband's face was priceless!!

  8. It's sad that people feel the need to criticize for something so trivial, and that you have to justify it on your blog. You're a great mother, and I'm glad you have a great sense of humor.

  9. Jen- I don't believe in gender confusion at this age. That's a load of bullshit. Having three children of the EXACT same age and the exact same maturity level means that they are going to want to do the EXACT SAME thing their sibling is doing BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY DO! Gregory can wear whatever color his sisters have whenever he wants. Despite the fact that Gregory has taught his sisters to pee standing up and that they can aim, does not mean that they are going to become lesbians that use the men's room. It means that someday when there are 100 women in line for one stall, they'll be laughing at them while they are peeing in the parking lot! GO GIRLS!

    So let him do what he wants. He isn't going to "turn gay" because you let him wear pink. Good grief, did someone put in stone that pink is for girls? Why?

    Don't make me write a post, Jen. You know I will.

  10. Your post is hilarious! You are right on GIRL!

    For those who worry about dressing their kids in specific "sex-oriented" colors, remember that social tastes have changed frequently throughout history. Not so long ago, pink was for boys and blue was for girls.

    I agree with the other comments here that it would be much more damaging and would cause much more unnecessary angst to force him to stay away from "girly" accessories.

  11. WHoever said that is a moron. I can't believe they'd tell you that about your two year old.

    I'll tell you, I used to dress my brother as a girl. He played with dolls and let me paint his fingernails pink....when he was three. At 25 he is an electrician and an amature kick boxer, an expert marksmen, way into hot rods and definetly very into women. The manlyist man I know in fact. But having a sister also made him understand women...something that William and Henry will understand as well.

    Your doing a great job with those kids of yours and I wouldn't give that person another thought. Plus it's probably someone who wished they could have worn pink PJ's.

  12. When i was the middle of three grade school daughters my Granny used to buy us our Easter dresses for our Christmas presents. One of my sisters and I usually had the same dress but in different colors. I ALWAYS had the non pink color which frankly annoyed the heck outta me. I was the Tomboy and my parents and granny reasoned i would like the 'odd' color.. and I suppose if it was put that way I would agree... however it made me no less a girly girl or lesbian hahahaha ---taking out my Roy Rogers hat and pistol--- Do YA BELIEVE me?
    hahah Love the pics!
    Hugs Ruth

  13. I was lucky enough to see the picture last night before you deleted it. I just wanted to tell you that I was ROFLMAO!! Your blog is really fantastic and that picture was hysterical!!

    Thanks for sharing your family. Reading about them is a highlight of my day!! Sandy

  14. That is just hilarious! (the poop I mean)

    And the "nursing" picture is so incredibly sweet!

  15. Oh my word! Who on earth would believe that dressing a little boy in pink will make him "turn gay." Everybody knows it is PURPLE that will make him gay. At least that is what my son-in-law told me when my daughter was planning the nursery for their child. Gee! How can some people get so mixed up. lol!

    Don't worry about William; he'll be just fine. Just hang on to those tutu pics and use them for blackmail in about 11-12 years when he is a teenager. Love that the girls want to help feed the baby. After all, a new mom can never have too many helpers, right?

    Kim, retired mom and Grammy to 2, with #3 due next month

  16. Thank you for my morning smile! :)

  17. Grandma Kathleen7/19/07, 12:07 PM

    Jen, Guy and wee ones:
    Hello to dear Mary and Jim,too!
    Thank you for not letting us see Will's whopper, as we turn on the blog over breakfast! We will see these soon enough from all 4 children.
    I remember when we brought the girls their tutus. After we arrived back in Arizona, your desparate call for us to overnite ship William a matching pink tutu....,....I ran to the store the next morning and grabbed the last pink one out of a ladies' hands. Trying to act normal, I begged her to let me buy it for my grandson.
    She pivoted on her heels and disappeared. Victory was ours and long live Wills in his tutu!
    See you in 2 weeks, and I will be bringing all 4 of the little ones pink tights!
    Love to all:
    Grandma Kathleen

  18. Jen,

    I love your blog, you definetly make me smile....everyday. Thanks!

  19. Ms. Elizabeth isn't planning on running for prez? ;-)

  20. Oh man! I can't believe I missed the poop picture. That is right up my alley.

    I firmly agree with your opinion on William's tutu. If he wants to wear it, go for it! If it makes things a bit easier for you, go for it! He will not walk down the aisle in it, hopefully!

    I LOVE the picture of Elizabeth "nursing" the baby.

    Henry is just scrumptious!!!

  21. That is hillarious, OMG! Im not sure what is funnier...that he is trying to poop big or that your Husband is actually photographing it. If it ever comes back to haunt you, I saw or heard nothing! As for the gender stuff, my opinion is BLAH BLAH BLAH....they are little kids, they figure it out in due time. You are a rockstar with all of that going on and still finding the time to blog!

    And make me crack up!!