Wednesday, May 31, 2006

A Few Little Points to Ponder

Although a layman might not know if our child wants a banana or the sharp scissors sitting on the counter - I have a pretty good clue by the way they look at me and shout "ARGH!"

Despite our best efforts at teaching the kids sign language, they communicate with us by yelling. Except for when they hear running water. Sprinklers, toilets, the washing machine or dishwasher ... send our kids in to fanatical baby sign language marathon of "Bath."

Taking down the 14-foot long baby gate that separates our playroom (aka: family room) from our kitchen might have been premature for a few reasons:

1) There are few things more challenging than unloading a dishwasher with 3 toddlers underfoot. Unless, your goal in this task is having 75-pounds worth of kids on top of the dishwasher door ... eagerly pulling out all of your glassware ... and sharp utensils.

2) There are few things more challenging than opening and closing a refrigerator with 3 toddlers underfoot. Unless, your goal in this task is having six little hands pull everything out of the door and off the shelves with warp speed.

3) There are few things more challenging than sweeping a floor following meal time with 3 toddlers underfoot. Unless, your goal in this task is to embark on a game of tug of war over a broom with three small children. While, simultaneously, keeping them from eating all of the food - and dust - and dog hair - that are now in disorganized piles across the floor.

When hard pressed for something to do to keep kids occupied (while you attempt the tasks above), little stools propped in front of a light switch work great. Provided, lights getting turned on and off in rapid succession don't give you an intense migraine.

It's getting a lot harder to keep toddlers happily engaged. It's getting a lot harder to divert attention away from the refrigerator, dishwasher, broom, sharp scissors, biting one another and smacking each other in the head with any object handy ... then it was last month.

The Wiggles can be considered educational television.

The concept of time out (TO) doesn't work too well when the child enjoys the experience so much that they throw a temper tantrum when you bring them out.

Administering eye drops to a baby sounds a lot easier than it actually is. It takes Charlie and I, and a lot of force, to put two drops in to Elizabeth's eye ... three times a day. I think that we'd have an easier time getting Elizabeth to spell "conjunctivitis" then we would treat her for it.

If I don't post on my blog for more than three days ... one of the following has occurred:

1) We have gone on vacation;

2) My *paying* job has completely consumed me;

3) Our computer and/or internet is dysfunctional.

Nothing fills up the curse cup faster then when Blogspot will not accept photos ... at 1 AM. Currently, IOU the curse cup $7.75 from my Memorial Day blog posting experience last night. Hopefully, the technical difficulties that I was encountering will 'self resolve' and I can post my pictures and story soon.

If you don't take a shower first thing in the morning before the kids wake up ... it's a guarantee that you'll still be in your pajamas at noon.

William just pulled an entire stick of soft butter off the table and is eating it. Note to self ... maybe little stools in the kitchen aren't such a good idea, after all.


  1. Sounds like everything is progressing perfectly in a normal way. I used to love Butter as a child so perhaps he is taking after NONI.

  2. mmmmmm B-U-T-T-E-R.....
    --Homer Simpson

    ps- good luck - I don't know how you do it with 3. I can barely manage with 1. When you wrote conjuntivitis (sp?) I starting singing, "Conjunction junction... what's your function." Now I can't get it out of my head. Yikes! I guess that's better than the Barney theme song!

  3. Your writing keeps me laughing. My 19 month-old twin boys are doing things right in sync with your 3. I can forget about emptying the dishwasher or taking a shower with them underfoot. It just gets impossible. They haven't learned to climb out of their cribs YET but now that you've posted about your kids doing it, I'm sure they will both do it tonight.

    Keep the funny stories coming b/c I can totally relate. Maybe I need to blog...I honestly don't see how you have time.

  4. Once again I laugh out loud at your post! Today, I tried to let mine stand on a chair and play in the soapy dish water, while I filled the dish washer. That worked, except for the cupfuls of water she dumped on the floor before I could stop her. I'll have to try the lightswitch idea instead- less wet.

  5. sarah scarborough6/1/06, 9:48 AM

    The Wiggles ARE educational television!!!!

    (thanks for the justification)

  6. I love it! I am searching for tiny brooms for my two year old twins. It probably won't help me get the sweeping done, but think of what else I can do while they are "helping"!

  7. Okay... I did a google search because we're looking for a 14 foot wide baby gate. Your blog came up. It sounds like we want to do what you did... seperate one open space from another and our room is 14 feet wide. OUR problem is that we haven't been able to find a baby gate/fence that wide! Where did you get yours? What brand? Something, anything... HELP ME! You can email me at thanks SO much... Gary in Illinois.