tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post3302680679652138945..comments2024-03-27T19:04:31.290-05:00Comments on The Amazing Trips: just call me prudish pollyThe Amazing Tripshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13761348688069779544noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-10701697720791081942014-03-27T15:41:07.270-05:002014-03-27T15:41:07.270-05:00I love to share information that I've accrued ...I love to share information that I've accrued through the calendar year to help enhance team efficiency.<br /><br /><br />Also visit my web blog - <a href="http://vernellwtdhmx.newsvine.com" rel="nofollow">SEO</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-3250787714533799932010-02-22T14:14:24.553-06:002010-02-22T14:14:24.553-06:00Recommended reading:
From Diapers to Dating: A Par...Recommended reading:<br />From Diapers to Dating: A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children<br />by Debra W. Haffner <br /><br />http://www.amazon.com/Diapers-Dating-Parents-Sexually-Children/dp/1557044260<br /><br />She suggests that it's all OK until the kids start giggling nervously. Not to sum up the entire book in one sentence, but just to give you a quick answer. :)Jeni Qhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11101039835999564711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-11019671918125224442010-02-22T12:34:06.937-06:002010-02-22T12:34:06.937-06:00Next time we do an ED . . . remind me to tell you ...Next time we do an ED . . . remind me to tell you the "Fur China" story . . . . .<br /><br />Yous - Jjessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16316464685609805737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-7334599964316600692010-02-22T11:02:27.398-06:002010-02-22T11:02:27.398-06:00Mine are a year older than yours and have been tak...Mine are a year older than yours and have been taking showers and getting dressed by themselves for a year now. Each one gets their own shower, washes their own hair, dries themselves off, and gets dressed alone. <br /><br />Try it. It is SO EASY. They just get their towel and go get showered. I LOVE it.Michele Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15061520456909635254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-75429646206952788632010-02-22T02:14:11.741-06:002010-02-22T02:14:11.741-06:00I'd hate to think the "age 3" rule a...I'd hate to think the "age 3" rule above is true... or my five-year-old triplet boys who still shower with me are destined for trouble. ;)<br /><br />Actually, I've just started considering the time for them showering with me is coming to an end... because one boy complimented my breasts and asked if he could start nursing. Now there's a sign that transition time is coming, eh? <br /><br />More than anything, though, I'm thinking it's time to start the discussion with them about "private parts" (a term we have never used because we want to keep the boys comfortable about the human body for as long as possible) because the boys are going to school in a few months. That means for several hours each day they will not be with me or my husband or their grandparents. That's a first, and now that they are out of our eyesight, they need to be aware of what parts of them people can and cannot touch. Same goes for the 'don't talk to strangers' discussion, which until now we've only just touched on. Time to break out John Walsh's "Stranger Safety" video.Deborah Halversonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01813383597378919945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-35262774827940926042010-02-22T00:19:54.298-06:002010-02-22T00:19:54.298-06:00I just recently started insisting on seperate boys...I just recently started insisting on seperate boys/girls bathtime and/or showering here because I found the curiosity a bit much (and that is IF they are together at all). I have a 11-1/2yo girl; 10yo boy; 8yo girl; 6yo boy. There was a time when I could fit them all together. The oldest two stopped bathtime together eons ago and it was mostly the 6yo getting tossed in with whomever. Once it moved from pure innocence to something I was uncomfortable, I simply made it a 'because I said so' moment. We've had the 'bathing suit' talk (if it's covered by that, it's private) and now they are begging for privacy in general any ways.Joy Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12746570281283136391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-80487467450976547452010-02-21T23:44:12.250-06:002010-02-21T23:44:12.250-06:00Yes, it is about what you teach them, but you have...Yes, it is about what you teach them, but you have to be comfortable too. As an earlier commenter stated, every home has their own rules. Maybe at 5, they are old enough to be taught how to shower on their own? Then a bath becomes a fun treat every once in a while.Sara Hammondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01549281327688681048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-1946742036195288792010-02-21T22:07:23.617-06:002010-02-21T22:07:23.617-06:00Ohhh.. Long time reader here, first time commenter...Ohhh.. Long time reader here, first time commenter (I think..). Couldn't resist this one. I have a 10 year old girl, 5 year old girl, and 23 month old boy. The girls used to bath together until, well I think my middle girl went right from bathing with her big sister, to bathing with her little brother, who would have been around age 1? The oldest girl was requesting private time in the bath, and it was a none issue until then. (I guess she would have been about 7 or 8?) It never occured to me to seperate them before, as they were girls and liked to play together in there anyhow.<br />My middle girl and little boy will likely bath together until either a request for privacy, or I find them getting too curious. There have been a few times that they have said or done something slightly innapropriate (that usually makes me laugh more than anything else) and then I will tell them to keep their hands (or thoughts) to themselves. <br />I think bathing your girls and boys seperately would be the easiest for them and for you?? I find the older they get the less time they really need to "play" anyhow, so adjusting their bath times alittle wouldn't really keep you tied up bathing all evening.Daniellehttp://www.thisismylife.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-85547913415419377362010-02-21T20:34:41.822-06:002010-02-21T20:34:41.822-06:00LOL, you must tell us what your fellow board membe...LOL, you must tell us what your fellow board member thinks of Cindy's suggestions ;)...<br /><br />I just have my one, but I dunnno. All families have different rules about nudity. Growing up in my house, everyone was covered up from as far back as I can remember. No lounging around in underwear or sharing baths. No one ever shamed it or even addressed it really, it's just the way it was. I feel like covering yourself up is just respectful to the others in the home. <br /><br />My husband grew up differently, and prefers to spend his relax time in a t-shirt in underwear. My daughter is one, and just the other day, in fact, I was telling him that he needs to start getting used to wearing shorts, because she will start noticing soon. <br /><br />Of course, that's the issue of adult nudity. As far as children go? If I were in your shoes, I'd probably start taking William out of the tub and bathing the girls together/boys together. Then in the very near future, doing them all separately. But that's about me and my comfort level. Like I said, it's such a tough issue because every family is different. <br /><br />Ultimately, it's your decision. I don't feel like what you were doing was shaming anything at all...you used the words "respect" and "private." I don't think anything in that will teach your children to feel shamed at all. I think you're doing great! Obviously is was an excellent question, because there is no clear cut answer.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10150735227587285350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-15711868346832030922010-02-21T20:09:35.370-06:002010-02-21T20:09:35.370-06:00What's wrong with the human body? While I onl...What's wrong with the human body? While I only have boys, they still take baths together and still love having a bath together. They have a great time in the tub. I do tell the boys not to play inappropriately, but it is in the same way that they are not allowed to grab each other's necks or faces. I don't want them to develop any shame about their bodies. They will develop modesty in their own time.<br /><br />But, We're not real modest in my house -- if my boys, who just turned 5, come in while I am taking a shower or getting dressed, then they come in. Usually I am home alone when I am showering, and I am going to leave the door open. I don't parade around the house naked, but if they see me, they see me.<br /><br />If you stop bathing them together, what are you going to do about the bathroom when you are out in public? Or if you are at the swimming pool without your DH to take the boys?Kristennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-17177512736086366432010-02-21T19:43:15.434-06:002010-02-21T19:43:15.434-06:00My sister and I bathed together for ever until one...My sister and I bathed together for ever until one day my brother who rolled him self up in a carpet that was to be installed in the bathroom walked in the carpet over to the tub. We both screamed, my Mother ran in unrolled him, swatteted him and decided we never bathed again together, five years old when they start to notice, take the time and bathe seperatly.Aunt Gracenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-72218855090413780632010-02-21T18:57:07.796-06:002010-02-21T18:57:07.796-06:00I have a 6 year old girl and a 3 year old boy and ...I have a 6 year old girl and a 3 year old boy and I still bathe them together, although I am on the verge of starting to split them up. But I think I'm going to let them keep bathing together as long as THEY feel comfortable with it. I can see that it's not going to last much longer as my daughter is starting to develop more of a sense of modesty. I don't think it's really a problem. Private parts ARE funny and they STILL make me giggle sometimes. :) I am trying to teach my kids that their bodies are their own and that they are not to touch each other's private parts, but obviously they see them since they share a room and bathe together. But they are just being kids and sometimes they act goofy and silly and although it sometimes makes me a little uncomfortable I don't usually do too much about it unless they are really crossing a line. And I am trying to help them learn that what is appropriate at home with family is not the same in public. I mean there's a time and a place, right? But I really agree with those who said that they will soon enough develop the desire for privacy and if it's easier for you to bathe them together and you are comfortable doing so, go for it. :)Shannonhttp://www.livinginthegray.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-14769461087058912492010-02-21T18:03:05.993-06:002010-02-21T18:03:05.993-06:00My experience is that one day they will become mod...My experience is that one day they will become modest and then you won't have to worry anymore. Different kids reach this point at different times. My one DS was impossible to potty train, but once he was, he no longer allowed anyone into the bathroom with him. My other DS (his twin) couldn't have cared less.<br /><br />I stopped bathing the boys with DD when it became clear they didn't want it anymore.twinglesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-15904439120955577612010-02-21T15:57:13.794-06:002010-02-21T15:57:13.794-06:00I wouldn't worry about modestly too much at th...I wouldn't worry about modestly too much at this age, maybe in another year or two, but I would still bath them seperately from a purely practical viewpoint. I don't know how you manage to fit three 5-year-olds and a 2-year-old in the same bath without it getting very crowded, I often bath three boys(oldest of whom is five) and I find that very crowded and have thought about bathing the older boy seperatelyStephenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03173230817321401438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-358277958174659912010-02-21T15:19:52.224-06:002010-02-21T15:19:52.224-06:00I think William is hilarious!!
I wouldn't worr...I think William is hilarious!!<br />I wouldn't worry about them sharing a bath, as long as they know that their parts are private. My oldset three, 2 boys and a girl shared the bath up until they were too big to fit comfortably and showers became easier, I think they were 6,8 and 10yrs.<br />Although if you are uncomfortable with it, separate them, every house has different rules, as I tell my kids on a daily basis!!J from Irelandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04358890639197418489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-70783081193811762372010-02-21T15:08:49.358-06:002010-02-21T15:08:49.358-06:00I totally LOVE reading your blog and laugh and lau...I totally LOVE reading your blog and laugh and laugh at your great stories. You are a wonderful writer. I hope you are planning on a book someday. As to the issue at hand, do what you feel is right. You're a great parent and you know your kids. I just enjoyed hearing the story!Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18296959093929880406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-70326058849508987932010-02-21T14:44:58.464-06:002010-02-21T14:44:58.464-06:00Hi Jen. I LOVE your blog. Just LOVE it.
When I ...Hi Jen. I LOVE your blog. Just LOVE it.<br /><br />When I first read this post, I thought it was one of your funny ones. While it is very funny, after reading the comments, I've realised that you and your commenters are serious. Without wanting to use the same vehemence as Cindy, I must say, I do share some of her point of view.<br /><br />To the commenter who said that THREE is when you stop undressing in front of your children, I think you may have been fed a line there. Everything I have read about healthy sexuality says that the more you normalise the human body, the LESS likely kids are to get into trouble later. You can still do this while teaching boundaries and privacy. eg we get dressed in the bathroom or bedroom. We close the door when you go to the toilet. etc etc etc.<br /><br />Having secrets and feeling you have to keep secrets is a tool that abusers use to control children. We actively work against secrets and treat secrets as BAD. Keeping a present hidden from a sibling is a surprise, not a secret. We use words such as "If you want to share how you feel inside, you can ALWAYS tell mum and dad. Feelings can be personal but are never secrets." <br />We try and move along at the kids pace. If they are still innocent and just at the giggling stage at five, and no-ones feelings are getting hurt, then that is fine with us. If they show signs of being uncomfortable or if the fun play is not fun for someone anymore, then we make other arrangements.<br /><br />By the way, my husband is a safety engineer and he blanched and cringed when I told him the part about standing up in the bath. That was the bit that got him worked up! Better not tell him that his own kids do it in his own bath upstairs!!!!<br /><br />Jen, I live in awe of your passion, humour, love and energy. Thanks for your blog.<br /><br />Sorry about the long winded comment.Rosemarynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-15699809603668777352010-02-21T14:01:35.135-06:002010-02-21T14:01:35.135-06:00I have all girls, so I'm no help there. Howeve...I have all girls, so I'm no help there. However, we have made a point to talk to our girls from the time they were about 2 or 3 about their "special places." We use the book "The Swimsuit Lesson" by Jon Holsten. (www.theswimsuitlesson.com) The idea is that any body parts covered by your swimsuit are special and private places that are not for anyone else to touch. The book encourages children to come and tell mom and dad if anyone touches them in a way that makes them uncomfortable.<br /><br />We tell our girls that Mommy and Daddy can touch their special places to help them clean or to make sure they are healthy, and that their doctor can check that their special places are healthy. Other than that, no one touches anyone else's special places, including brothers or sisters. They don't "get it" in the way an adult would, but it is definitely teaching them boundaries, and opening an important dialog.Sarah Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-3948986195679914362010-02-21T13:18:04.559-06:002010-02-21T13:18:04.559-06:00Cindy is right on. ;-) The kids' behaviour is...Cindy is right on. ;-) The kids' behaviour is natural and normal. Let them be and they will grow up fine. Better than fine because they have opposite sex siblings and can indulge their very natural and innocent curiosity in a safe environment. The last thing you want to do is instill shame in them. Let them be your guide. They will let you know when they want more privacy from each other (and you). I've also got four kids, ages 8 mos. through 12.5 years, a boy smack in the middle of three girls. I will admit that I've been uncomfortable over the years with their natural curiosity at young ages but I always tried to leave well enough alone and, sure enough, they've let me know when they've wanted more privacy as they get older.t in hdnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-60457993894119411132010-02-21T12:25:41.957-06:002010-02-21T12:25:41.957-06:00Um Cindy, Jenn didn't tell her kids they were ...Um Cindy, Jenn didn't tell her kids they were shameful or dirty. <br /><br />But at some point, kids do have to learn what it okay and not okay. Not because of siblings, but so they know what is okay and not okay touching from other people.<br /><br />As someone who was sexually abused as a kid, by another kid, I do think it's important to think about it from all sides. <br /><br />Please try to think about that, before you accuse someone of calling their children shameful. The world is not just black and white like that.<br /><br />(And what the heck on the comment about William's hair. Or ballet. Seriously, stop judging people for no reason. You feel free to do what you want with your kids.)Issahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11309906249557761472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-59434201692883543082010-02-21T12:18:40.929-06:002010-02-21T12:18:40.929-06:00I have two younger brothers. They are twins and ar...I have two younger brothers. They are twins and are two and a half years younger than me. I think at some point, maybe around six, I started bathing alone? It's a guess. <br /><br />I think it will come naturally. I think telling them that their parts are theirs alone and not to touch each others, is smart. I also think at five years old, they are just curious and it's completely normal. <br /><br />That being said, I've got two girls and a boy. My oldest is 8 and just started showering alone, but that it mostly because she prefers showers. My younger daughter is five and my son is 17 months and they bathe together. So um...heck if I know. ha.<br /><br />I know you've already gotten so varying opinions on this. I think if it makes you uncomfortable, then it may be time to switch to two baths, one for the girls and one for the boys.Issahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11309906249557761472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-79136858215886376842010-02-21T10:57:27.331-06:002010-02-21T10:57:27.331-06:00Speaking as someone who bathed their twins togethe...Speaking as someone who bathed their twins together for years..I don't think you have to worry. Kids figure out their own sense of modesty when they're ready.<br /><br />Now, for their own safety, I would sit them down and talk about their private parts are their own and no one is to touch them without their consent and "good touching" and "bad touching".<br /><br />But other than that, I wouldn't worry in the least. Besides which, if you make too big a deal about private parts and their own bodies and "no one should see you", you could be giving them issues that would carry through to adulthood.<br /><br />No worries, Jen. Honest. As your cuzzin said, pretty soon you'll hear "GET OUT OF MY ROOM, I'M CHANGING!!!!!"LadyofAvalon56https://www.blogger.com/profile/12486252994725146208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-29003982569033510112010-02-21T10:30:33.215-06:002010-02-21T10:30:33.215-06:00Cindy, I certainly appreciate your comment and wil...Cindy, I certainly appreciate your comment and will take your suggestion to my fellow parenting board member.The Amazing Tripshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13761348688069779544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-32313406513886317402010-02-21T10:28:51.221-06:002010-02-21T10:28:51.221-06:00I am surprise at you, Jen! The worst thing you ca...I am surprise at you, Jen! The worst thing you can do it teach a child shame. LEARN from the children, don't teach them this ugly world's hang ups. It is SOCIETY that is hung up -- the worst thing you can do is tell them their body is dirty and shameful. :"(<br /><br />Who ever came up with the idea that one little part of the body is DIRTY and SHAMEFUL??? If you simply stop and think about it, the idea is INSANE! The idea is absolutely ludicrous! :O<br /><br />IF they were my kids, the would bathe together until THEY wanted to stop. And William wouldn't be shorn like a sheep (short hair) - he would have the same hair style as his sisters so they'd match as triplets. He would also be IN the ballet school, not going to it to get the girls. Why discriminate against William because he is a boy? Why can't people just be people, and live as one in peace???<br /><br />~Cindy! :"(<br />..Cindy! :"(http://myspace.com/cindybradytoohnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-29837904068456044242010-02-21T05:29:35.355-06:002010-02-21T05:29:35.355-06:00Soon enough it will happen that the children will ...Soon enough it will happen that the children will not want to bathe with each other. In my house it happened at around 6 -7 years old. My 5 year old girl is really upset that the older two do not want to have a bath with her but she has to learn to respect that. My nine year old girl started puberty somewhere around the age of six, so that was a natural break. The seven year old boy is very private now, but wasn't until about six months ago.<br /><br />I would go with what s comfortable for you. You have to live with it, after all. If you go with single sex baths then I would do them alternate nights so that you don't have hours of bath time every night. They don't get all that gross at this age - not sweaty and greasy!!!<br /><br />I would also look for an age appropriate book and read it when you are not feeling stressed by a situation you can't control.<br /><br />I have to say, it is all very normal behaviour for their age and nothing to worry about. You just need to keep a balance between not turning healthy curiosity into something forbidden and guilt ridden and your happiness with whatever situation you choose.Annicleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06691832473765718313noreply@blogger.com