tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post2003782559471585170..comments2024-03-27T19:04:31.290-05:00Comments on The Amazing Trips: just call me defensive deidraThe Amazing Tripshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13761348688069779544noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-62138751223240895242010-02-24T03:15:52.098-06:002010-02-24T03:15:52.098-06:00I only have one child but when Joey was 2.5 we had...I only have one child but when Joey was 2.5 we had just moved back to the UK and he had just started nursery and it seemed like every other day there was a comment about his behaviour and how bad it was. Obviously with daycare you are paying them so they are duty-bound to not kick the child out unless they do something really reprehensible but I am pretty sure that if it was a church-type nursery, Joey would have been kicked out every single time he went. My son is fabulous but he is high-spirited and precocious and that doesn't all sit well with alot of people. <br /><br />Anyway, I digress. Sounds to me like Henry is perfectly normal. (As there is such a hug range of normal behaviour at that age.) Joey doesn't have any older siblings so as one of your other commenters said, it might not even be learnt behaviour, rather who Henry is. As one of my friends commented to me a while ago when I was stressing about Joey's behaviour, as mothers we put WAY too much pressure on ourselves about our children's behaviour and that is essentially what makes us good mothers, even if it causes us stress. The very fact you care enough to blog about this is a sure sign that Henry will be just fine in the long run! ;-)Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07753274966052707888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-27704496943199714622010-02-23T20:28:22.004-06:002010-02-23T20:28:22.004-06:00Take the BUCKY away?!
But MOMMMMM!!
He's my...Take the BUCKY away?! <br /><br />But <i>MOMMMMM</i>!!<br /><br />He's my <b>BABY</b>!!!!!The Amazing Tripshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13761348688069779544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-64311516784248571742010-02-23T19:53:50.322-06:002010-02-23T19:53:50.322-06:00I think that you must throw the binkey away---Henr...I think that you must throw the binkey away---Henry cannot communticate with that in his mouth. Then when he is separated from the Trips, he feels ---well---different. You will straighten him out in no time.<br />The flu bug is in Florida and Janine and ML are both sick.<br />Love,<br />The NudistAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-82810429144626395002010-02-23T15:53:16.773-06:002010-02-23T15:53:16.773-06:00First of all, I absolutely love Aunt Grace's c...First of all, I absolutely love Aunt Grace's comments, and I plan on using them myself! :)<br /><br />Secondly, I volunteer in our (very large) church's nursery once a month, in the same class as my 2.75 year old b/g twins. And yes, we have been kicked out twice and it was horribly embarassing. <br /><br />However, as a volunteer, it is a pain in the butt to fill out the "incident" report each time a child is hit, kicked or bit by another. And yes, we have been the hitters, kickers, biters and receivers of hits, kicks and bites. <br /><br />I try to calm myself with the thought "If my kids never make mistakes, I will never have the chance to correct them." Depending on how hormonal I am at the time, it sometimes helps.<br /><br />And this is purely 100% opinionated, but I think all of the drastic measures that keep kids from hurting each other are a bit over-rated. I don't want my kids to be wimps, and I do want them to stand up for weaker kids if need be, and to learn impuse control. Seems like a few shoves in the nursery keep kids real and normal, and possibly teach them a few life lessons. Like don't take that big kid's toys or you might get hit!<br /><br />As always, a huge fan of your blog. <br />~krissy from pittsburghKrissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11983914941867961880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-65637982509382346212010-02-23T09:45:56.017-06:002010-02-23T09:45:56.017-06:00OMG...You just wait kiddo...You are so gonna get i...OMG...You just wait kiddo...You are so gonna get it from me. How many people read this blog thing of yours??? You've totally blown my cover...what if by some fluke my hubby reads this and finds out the real truth about my past? Huh, what then missy?<br /><br />Now...on to your that little bundle of joy. He's excited to be with new faces and new toys...and he's two!! What's all the commotion about? I think you should SPY on him to get your own sense of what he's doing. He probably does need a little limit setting and that, as you know, is easily taught with consistance and tons of patience. <br /><br />If it were me, I wouldn't even send him to the nursery area. He'd be with me at Mass! Crawling under the pews and on the kneelers while sipping a juice box & eating raisins. I used to bring religious story books & coloring books of the Saints to help pass the time. If my children got too loud, I'd whisper to them and distract them with something from my bag of goodies. If they got out of control, we'd exit the Church, take a short walk and then return to our seats. Not surprisingly, with my past and all, we always took the children to Mass and sometimes it wasn't easy, but for the most part, they conformed and knew what was expected of them.<br /><br />And btw...your Mother was my Godmother first...and all I can say is WOOT WOOT Auntie!!One of many cuzzins!noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-85129246774396072152010-02-23T08:31:04.414-06:002010-02-23T08:31:04.414-06:00For what it is worth, I have a similar family stru...For what it is worth, I have a similar family structure (triplets and then a singleton three years later). My little guy was way more aggressive than my triplets at 2 1/2 and I think, in retrospect, he was frustrated because he lacked their verbal skills and resorted to biting and hitting since he could never match their abilities. He calmed down once he started preschool at three, but I'm pretty sure he would have bitten someone if he had been in a nursery at 2. Once he started preschool, it was really odd - we thought he would be very advanced socially since he spent so much time with older children, but it actually was almost the opposite. Since he had never been on a level playing field with his peers, he didn't know how to initiate a friendship or play with someone in any way other than bossing them around (sort of how he was pretty regularly treated). We had also spent so much time telling his older siblings to be "nice" to him that his teachers said he acted more like an oldest child than the youngest of four since he was shocked if someone took a toy from him, etc. and not nearly as able to roll with the punches as they usually saw in a youngest child. He is now in kindergarten and still working on his social skills - to this day, he prefers chatting with adults to interacting with kids his own age, but he is making progress (and has luckily put his biting days behind him).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-22561009583690102662010-02-23T00:31:35.616-06:002010-02-23T00:31:35.616-06:00When my son was 2.5 we went to a "mommy &...When my son was 2.5 we went to a "mommy & me" class once a week. He loved the outdoor time but he would NOT sit on the rug at story time. So I would trudge outside with him where he was supremely happy. He just needed a lot of activity, and was too young for the "sit" part. I shed many a tear out on the playground while all my friends and their kiddies were inside. Now he is 33 and writes songs and music for the childrens tv show Yo Gabba Gabba, and is the voice of Muno (the red one). Henry will get through this stage, but it isn't much fun in the meantime.Janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14956702385571303197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-9525816228551810992010-02-22T19:41:31.831-06:002010-02-22T19:41:31.831-06:00I think that it may have to do with him being the ...I think that it may have to do with him being the youngest child. I notice signs of my almost 2-year-old daughter becoming a tyrant. The truth is, we baby the hell out of the kid. She is definitely our last one and we just want to soak it all in. However if other people, including other children don't treat her like their one and only center of attention, then they're just asking for trouble.Rachelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-36752705495181485702010-02-22T18:46:41.609-06:002010-02-22T18:46:41.609-06:00I second what MicheleS said...my 2 1/2 year old se...I second what MicheleS said...my 2 1/2 year old seems waaaaaay more mature than my twin boys did at that age. I have attributed it to the fact that she is a girl AND that she sees her older brothers behavior all day long. Does Henry act older/more mature than the triplets did at that age? I also agree that if he is getting "kicked out" that often they may be understaffed. Doesn't sound like he's doing anything totally out of character for a 2 year old, just that they aren't handling it so well. Am curious to see what happens when you are in there!<br /><br />Kelly(Houston)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-17494944621262702422010-02-22T17:16:21.185-06:002010-02-22T17:16:21.185-06:00Here are my thoughts, as an Infant and Toddler Ear...Here are my thoughts, as an Infant and Toddler Early Childhood Educator (and lurker!). I have worked with children from birth to three for almost ten years, and currently am working in the Toddler Room of a daycare centre, with children from 20 months to 30 months.<br /><br />In a group centre we would have someone "shadow" Henry. They would stay within arms reach to attempt to stop the behaviours before they happen, and also to look out for triggers and find out why Henry is doing this. A church nursery probably does not have enough staff to do this, so I think it is a good idea for you to do it yourself.<br /><br />They are probably kicking him out week after week because his behaviour is exactly the same week after week. If you can manage to change the behaviour, he would most likely be allowed to stay. I highly doubt they are kicking him out just because they can. If they are responsible for a large number of children, they have to look out for the other children's safety. If they can't have someone one-on-one for Henry, then they have to ask you to take him out.<br /><br />You also have to look at it from the other parents' point of view. If one of your children were getting hurt every week, you would probably write a post about "the nursery bully", and either blame the parents or blame the staff for NOT kicking him out.<br /><br />Maybe Henry needs something different than your other children. Maybe 2 or 3 days a week in a 2.5 hour preschool program would be good for him. As much as you guys love being at home with the kids, maybe it would be helpful to him to have different teachers. Parents are always shocked at how much their children pick up in daycare/preschool... things that they would never be able to do at home, like sit for a 15 minute circle, walk around town holding a rope, etc. My 2-year-olds sit for 20+ minute circles. It can be done, they just need to be trained to do it, and one hour a week in a church nursery is not enough to do it.<br /><br />Which brings me to... They cannot change his behaviour in one hour a week, but if you go with him to the nursery and shadow him, you can. If you see him about to hit or push someone you can give him words to use instead or teach him how to include the other children if they are coming close to play with him. And then you can reinforce that at home, over and over again. Eventually he will get it. 2.5-year-olds are definitely able to use their words and learn how to deal with situations without being physical.<br /><br />Those are all my rambling thoughts on this. I'm not going to go back and re-read and edit it because then I will chicken out and just delete it all! I am not saying that Henry is a tyrant, and I'm not saying it's all your fault and you're a horrible parent. But I am saying you can definitely fix this with a bit of work! Good luck!Krystalnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-57462490422499463792010-02-22T16:54:50.757-06:002010-02-22T16:54:50.757-06:00Ha ha - I love Aunt Grace's response - you roc...Ha ha - I love Aunt Grace's response - you rock Aunt Grace! I totally get how you and Mrs.Cooney are sisters!Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10261294453490462048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-85498127236479843242010-02-22T16:27:15.858-06:002010-02-22T16:27:15.858-06:00Personally I have worked in church nurserys and we...Personally I have worked in church nurserys and we usually give timeout for a child who is having trouble hitting or harming any other child. We usually only page the parents if a child is sick or has been crying for 20+ minutes and there is no hope. <br /><br />I think the nursery staff needs to undestand that Henry is a BOY and that he may need to be taught not to hit/kick/be mean. Some kids need to know good/inappropriate behavior. <br />Good Luck!<br />~ElyseElysehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04100019358485843850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-67277471193287533872010-02-22T16:06:02.632-06:002010-02-22T16:06:02.632-06:00I missed the bathing post! How did that happen? ...I missed the bathing post! How did that happen? Anyway, my two cents - we've bathed our girl and boy together ever since the boy was about a year old and able to handle himself in the bathtub (girl was 2 and 1/2 by that point). It started to get kind of weird about 6 months ago, but we just told them to keep their hands to themselves. But then my daughter turned 6, and put her foot down on bathing with her brother. She wanted her own space, and to be a grown-up, so she takes supervised showers now. And my son now has the whole tub to himself to play with his plastic sharks. Life kind of works itself out like that.<br /><br />Okay, church nursery. NURSERY?? At 2 and a half?? In our church, Henry would be in the 2's class with kids his own age, trying to do a craft, attempting to listen to a Sunday school lesson, going to singing time and trying to sit still and maybe sing, and eating goldfish crackers and making a crummy mess all over the carpet. Just like all the other 2 year olds. What age does the nursery at your church cover? Would Henry do better in a more structured class, do you think?<br /><br />Now, my son (now 4.5) is the learning-disabled rambunctious kid who spends half of Sunday morning on time-out. He's not doing so hot. Fortunately, his Sunday school teachers in the Pre-K class are his grandparents, who know how to handle him, and love him very much. But my dad did call my cell phone yesterday morning and tell my husband (who answered it) to GET DOWN HERE because the boy was on time-out for the 4th time and needed a parent to straighten him out. Not that it really helped. Giving him food helped, though - he'd refused to eat anything for breakfast, and his tummy was probably turning itself inside out.<br /><br />This is the same kid who is failing RECESS at his special-ed preschool. He's too young to be officially diagnosed yet, but I'm starting to think that he will be declared ADHD before too long. But bottom line, he pushes the envelope (even when authority figures like Grandma are around) and does poorly without structure.<br /><br />There are boys who sit still and do what they are told. I don't know any myself, but I am told they exist. Maybe my soon-to-be-born baby boy will be like that! I can dream, can't I?Deannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06264388274486422686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-62002448116500271172010-02-22T15:56:48.833-06:002010-02-22T15:56:48.833-06:00Bubbles and foam soap, you may be on to something ...Bubbles and foam soap, you may be on to something here...<br /><br />And, uh, Henry sounds normal to me. I'll go with your idea of the nursery staff being a little trigger happy. <br /><br />Though, I must say, as a Catholic, I now wish we had nurseries. My second daughter, 13 months, is STILL screaming bloody murder through half of the service because she wants to get down and run-a-muck. This past Sunday we left long before Communion because a) we were tired of her screaming, b) the dirty looks by the other people around us were getting a bit old, and c) her diaper leaked and her butt and my lap were both wet. <br /><br />Some Sundays, I wish my kid was in a nursery. :)Aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03064122349886713927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-46988753270684818322010-02-22T15:53:48.280-06:002010-02-22T15:53:48.280-06:00yeah, I say just sit with Henry a few Sundays and ...yeah, I say just sit with Henry a few Sundays and see if you can get a handle on it. Short-staffed volunteers don't have the time or patience to correct behavior so the easiest way of dealing with it, for them, is not to. :(<br /><br />I have a 5-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son so I don't deal with nearly as much chaos. We also got lucky in that ours had the wicked good verbal skills at 18 months old so we never had to deal with the ultra-tantrums/terrible twos. <br /><br />I think it is normal for some personalities to more assertive but aggressive behavior can be tempered a bit (esp. before the child gets older). <br /><br />Both of my kids have told me, "I'm not so and so's friend because he/she hits and yells." I always feel a bit bad for that kid. There has to be a reason for the behavior. On the other hand, I don't want my child whacked on either. <br /><br />Henry isn't the only one. He's just having a hard time getting his point across sometimes and is dealing with it in an aggressive manner perhaps?<br /><br />Just my opinion. <br />-DanielleDaniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04490578614214219045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-68131746625419383252010-02-22T15:31:47.894-06:002010-02-22T15:31:47.894-06:00My 2.5 yr old daughter is a brat. She whines, shou...My 2.5 yr old daughter is a brat. She whines, shouts, won't share anything and has a freak attack if any other kid looks at her things. Its annoying but totally age related, I hope. As the youngest of four with an 8yr age gap, its difficult not to worry has she been spoilt but on the other hand I can remember my older ones being as difficult and they have turned out wonderful, well, most of the time.J from Irelandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04358890639197418489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-36340963135818135852010-02-22T15:29:39.733-06:002010-02-22T15:29:39.733-06:00Okay, I'll weigh in...
I have two sons. One ...Okay, I'll weigh in...<br /><br />I have two sons. One is exactly Henry's age. The other used to be :) Neither of them ever exhibited that particular behavior (we have a different list of undesirable behaviors they apparently chose from). We are in a playgroup where nine of the other children are currently 2.5 and another nine USED to be. Of those eighteen, ONE of the other children does behave that way. SO..no, I would not say "that's what two year olds do." Is it unheard of? Obviously not, based on my informal, non-scientific observation of 20 children. Apparently, according to me, it is normal for 1 in 20 kids to do that. And I'm always right. Right?<br /><br />About the one boy in playgroup who does that...the invisible "bubble" that needs to be around him at all times is nearly visible it is so well-defined. Any child who steps into that bubble gets smacked. We meet weekly so all the children seem to have learned to stay out of his bubble. In a church daycare that's just not going to happen. I bet the triplets have unconsciously learned to stay outside his bubble though.<br /><br />It is understandable that Henry might have 'space' issues given the number of siblings he has in close age range. That doesn't mean you should let it go. I second Rosemary's recommendation...coaching and practice. <br /><br />If you find something that works, let us know. I'll try it out on my own children's embarrassing behaviors.My Boys' Teacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16814627526655717162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-47494496535412820682010-02-22T14:06:04.843-06:002010-02-22T14:06:04.843-06:00BUBBLES!! That's genius, Jen. Never would ha...BUBBLES!! That's genius, Jen. Never would have occurred to me, LOL. Your solution is perfect. <br /><br />I don't have any answers about the sibling-causing misbehavior, as I only have one, but I think it's the job of the nursery staff to keep him from "endangering" the other kids, and vice versa. From what I understand, you go to a very big church, right? So I'm assuming the staff is paid, not volunteers? If so, I'd go up higher to address the issue. If they're volunteers? Meh, I doubt there's much you can do. <br /><br />I have the opposite issue. We sit blissfully through the whole service thinking our baby is happy and playing, then we go pick up our hysterical toddler who has been crying for who knows how long. I appreciate their effort in trying to calm her down, but obviously it didn't work. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE PAGERS!!!Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10150735227587285350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-44909502338733261112010-02-22T12:39:53.835-06:002010-02-22T12:39:53.835-06:00Yeah . . . Tucker punched my friend's little 4...Yeah . . . Tucker punched my friend's little 4 yo in the face at the park the other day . . . talk about your Mortified Myrtle! They are not "good" or "bad" or whatever . . .they just need some instruction on socially acceptable behavior. That's all. Most 2.5 yos lack impulse control entirely. In Tucker's case .. . . he is a 5 yo that lacks impulse control! Hang in there. Teach Henry - he comes from a loving home with caring and attentive parents - he'll learn.<br /><br />Jessicajessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16316464685609805737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-72848162196737648012010-02-22T12:32:55.906-06:002010-02-22T12:32:55.906-06:00It is very difficult to handle behavior issues in ...It is very difficult to handle behavior issues in a child that is not your own - even more so with a room full of children and few helpers.<br /><br />This is not a popular view, I can tell, but I'm going to stick up for the nursery workers. I regularly work the nursery and you really have to balance what is in the best interest of all the children. Sometimes that means calling some parents back in to help deal with a child. <br /><br />Are the nursery workers members of the church? If so, that means they are giving up their time in worship to help with other people's children. It is a rewarding job that can also be difficult and open them up to criticism, as evidenced by some of the comments. Most people who work the nursery really love children and are very patient.<br /><br />I'd wait and see what you notice when you observe Henry next week. I do admire you for being objective and realizing it may be an issue on Henry's part. Believe me, we've all been there.<br />I myself had a biter. Not happy memories.HWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09260566913424446132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-68582451316714362252010-02-22T12:19:35.701-06:002010-02-22T12:19:35.701-06:00Seriously?
I say find a new church! JUST KIDDING!...Seriously?<br />I say find a new church! JUST KIDDING! I think you're right for hanging around next week and seeing what the issue is. My 2 1/2 year olds CAN get pretty pushy when people are up in their grill or take their toy. We went to they Y today for the first time in over a year (them...not me). I was sure they'd be calling me off the treadmill to tell me someone was poopy...or crying...or not playing well with others. Hang in there. You're a great mom. Your precious little Henry is fine. He's normal. And you may miss a few sermons now...but think about how many sermons you won't miss once you figure out what's going on in that mysterious nursery.Momma-of-5https://www.blogger.com/profile/04257955339990134187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-76220977985060947192010-02-22T11:55:28.197-06:002010-02-22T11:55:28.197-06:00Well, if had red hair I could understand. My swee...Well, if had red hair I could understand. My sweet boy was kicked out of better places than your Church. Nursery school and Kindergarden, BUT I always paid in advance, when they called me to complain about my darlin, I just said I am paid in full, handle it!Aunt Gracenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-86663664713933652992010-02-22T11:50:07.574-06:002010-02-22T11:50:07.574-06:00I had the same thought as one of the annon comment...I had the same thought as one of the annon comments....are you having issues with his behavior at home too or is it just in the nursery. My twin boys are just a few months shy of 2 and one is a hitter and the other is an intermittent biter. The biting started when another boy at daycare bit him (a loooong story) and he was defending himself. The hitting though is another story. He is a pretty defiant little guy and a lot of it has to do with being in his space or taking his toys etc. He seems to be a kid that very much needs his own space. He is totally different when he isn't around his brother, the agressive behavior seems to be gone since his brother isn't in his space. Maybe that is part of what Henry needs, his own space. I know it's tough since you are in a small home, but maybe send the big kids out for the afternoon and get some one on one time with Henry. <br /><br />Otherwise stand outside that nursery door and see what is happening for yourself and don't be afraid to confront a nursery worker on their interactions with Henry. I'm sure he is a little ball of energy, but you can't tell me that there isn't something else going on at this point. 4 weeks in a row seems excessive and really how long do they have him in there....if it's anything like our service it can't be for more than an hour or so and if they can't handle him for an hour, something else is going on!<br /><br />BTW my verification word is wooker...just thought it was too funny not to share :)J and J Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07261381531546970555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-17601052671030407002010-02-22T11:13:38.110-06:002010-02-22T11:13:38.110-06:00I don't know Jen. Austin is younger than the ...I don't know Jen. Austin is younger than the other kids, but he acts OLDER not younger. By acting older, he does not hit or push. He is more MATURE. My age gap is not as big as yours though, so maybe that is the difference? I would do exactly as you are doing by going to the nursery. Good job!Michele Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15061520456909635254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24756113.post-18321542758420185212010-02-22T10:55:08.816-06:002010-02-22T10:55:08.816-06:00.....shaking my head.....seriously? Do these nurse........shaking my head.....seriously? Do these nursery supervisors understand 2yo behavior at all? Sounds like they are short-staffed, but overall do they use any discipline. <br /><br />At that age, two of my four kids were biters. It was just how they handled the situation at 2yo. Not acceptable, but with some guidance and discipline (and me pulling my hard out behind embarrassed cheeks) it went away. <br /><br />I'm sitting with Charlie; they are calling you way too soon.Joy Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12746570281283136391noreply@blogger.com